AS YOU SOW, SO SHALL YOU REAP:

AS YOU SOW, SO SHALL YOU REAP:
ANXIETY IS AN UNPLEASANT STATE OF THE MIND ACCOMPANIED BY PHYSIOLOGICAL (BODILY) CHANGES AND IN ACTORS IT IS ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY FACIAL (EG GRIMACING OR PAINED LOOK) AND BODILY EXPRESSIONS (GESTICULATIONS, HAND WRINGING) INTENTIONALLY TO SHOW OTHERS OR UNINTENTIONALLY (MAD INVOLUNTARY ACTING). EXTERNAL EXPRESSIONS OF ANXIETY MAY BE COMPLETELY FAKED (PATIENT WANTS SICK LEAVE), ACTED OUT INTENTIONALLY (YOU ARE ANXIOUS AND WANT PEOPLE TO SEE YOUR ANXIETY TO COURT SYMPATHY) OR INVOLUNTARILY (A MAN COMES AFTER YOU WITH A CHOPPER AND YOU GO HYSTERICAL) OR BE SUPPRESSED IF THE ACTOR WISHES TO HIDE OR LIE ABOUT HIS ANXIOUS STATE.
EVEN THOUGH ANXIETY IS A PHLEGMATIC PAINFUL CONDITION THAT WITH REGULAR, PROLONGED EXPERIENCE WILL (NOT MAY) BECOME QUICK/EASY TO ARISE, INCREASINGLY MORE INTENSE AND DIFFICULT TO SHED, ACTORS ROUTINELY DELIBERATELY FAKE ANXIETY IN THEIR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS (EG CUSTOMERS, BOSSES) TO DECEIVE (PLEASE OR IMPRESS). SOME PEOPLE FAKE ANXIETY AND SUFFERING WHEN THEY WALK IN THE STREETS IN SEEDY PLACES TO BE ANONYMOUS FOR FEAR THUGS WILL PICK ON THEM.
WHEN YOU FORCE YOURSELF (TO GO AGAINST YOURSELF) TO ACT AS IF YOU ARE ANXIOUS, YOU ARE ACTIVELY LYING WITH YOUR BODY AND THAT IN ITSELF SWIFTLY CREATES STRESS AND GENUINE ANXIETY SO THAT IN TIME, YOU COME TO BELIEVE YOU DID NOT FAKE YOUR ANXIETY BUT IT IS GENUINE BECAUSE YOU ARE ANXIOUS.
BUT THIS ANXIETY IS NOT SPONTANEOUS BUT IT IS THE RESULT OF YOU STRESSFULLY FAKING EXPRESSIONS OF ANXIETY IN THE FIRST PLACE THEREBY CREATING ANXIETY THAT ALWAYS ACCOMPANIES LYING. IT IS THE ANXIETY OF SELF INDUCED LYING, NOT REACTIONARY ANXIETY, EG A TIGER PROWLING.
(ALL LYING CREATES STRESS AND ANXIETY, NO MATTER HOW SLICK A LIAR YOU HAVE BECOME BECAUSE ALL LYING IS FORCEFUL AND NEEDS FABRICATING. LIES DO NOT COME OUT OF THIN AIR BUT THEY MUST ALL BE CONCEIVED AND THEN CARRIED OUT. YOU CAN ONLY STRIVE TO HIDE AS WELL AS YOU CAN THE STRESS AND ANXIETY OF LYING FROM VIEW BUT THAT FORCEFUL HIDING ONLY CREATES MORE STRESS AND ANXIETY THAT TIGHTENS THE NOOSE OF SELF DECEPTION AROUND YOUR NECK EVEN MORE)
IF YOU CONSTANTLY FAKE ANXIETY TO DECEIVE OTHERS, UNWITTINGLY CREATING A PALPABLE ANXIETY DUE TO FAKING, SHOULDN’T IT SERVE YOU RIGHT THAT LATER YOU BECOME MADLY RESTLESS; RESTLESSNESS TORMENTS YOU FREQUENTLY AS IF OUT OF THE BLUE, FOR LITTLE OR NO REASON AND WILL NOT LEAVE YOU? SINCE YOU SO LOVE ANXIETY THAT YOU REGULARLY FAKE IT, WHY SHOULD ANXIETY BE ANXIOUS TO LEAVE YOU BUT INSTEAD IT WILL MAKE A HOME FOR ITSELF PERMANENTLY IN YOUR MIND?
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WILL FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE AS YOU SOW, SO SHALL YOU REAP. SINCE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY, NEEDLESSLY SOWING ANXIETY FOR YOURSELF IN THE NAME OF PLEASING OR IMPRESSING OTHERS, YOU SHALL REAP A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST OF MAD, UNCONTROLLABLE & SEVERE ANXIETY LATER.
THE TRUTH IS THAT MOST ACTORS ARE ALREADY WELL SEIZED BY THEIR WELL BELIEVED OR DELUDED FAKED ANXIETY FOR OTHERS THAT THEY INITIALLY FORCED THEMSELVES TO FAKE BUT IS NOW FORCED HELPLESSLY ON THEM AND THEY ARE WAITING, THEY DON’T REALIZE FOR A RECKONING WITH TORMENTING PAYBACK AND IT WOULD TAKE GREAT REPEATED MINDFULNESS AND REPEATED PAINSTAKING UNDOING (EFFACEMENT) IF THEY ARE TO EXIT ANXIETY AND WAITING DOOM. AS YOU SOW, SO SHALL YOU REAP.
IF YOU WILL NOT RAISE A FINGER TO SAVE YOURSELF (STOP SMILING, STOP STRETCHING SYLLABLES, FAKING ANXIETY), YOU SEE NO NEED FOR CHANGE IN YOURSELF, WHO CAN AND WILL SAVE YOU FROM DOOM? THE ANSWER IS NOBODY AND YOU HAVE NOBODY TO BLAME SHOULD WOE, EVEN ETERNAL HABITATIONS SHOULD BEFALL YOU.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE ANXIOUS TO BE CONCERNED FOR OTHERS BUT INSTEAD ALL ANXIOUS CONCERN IS EXPRESSED OR FAKED. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TRUE ANXIOUS CONCERN BUT ALL ANXIOUS CONCERN IS FAKED, HAS NOT AN OUNCE OF GOODNESS BUT STRESSES THE RECIPIENT, WITH KARMA ATTACHED, NOT MERIT AS THE FOOL DELUDES HIMSELF.
Impulse & The Price Of Tomfoolery:
Many intentionally or not manipulate others (seductive behavior & dress is always learnt, acted and manipulative) with their behavior not realizing that they will (not may) one day pay not only with their lives, as this young man below did but even with an eternity in perdition.
A law student in UK back home for holiday, he was straggling behind his girlfriend after leaving a pub at 3 am when his girlfriend asked him to hurry up.
He mischievously demanded that his girlfriend say she loved him before he will hurry up (setting terms and forcing her to fabricate or lie to say she loved him just to please him. If she truly wants to say she loves you, she would. To demand is to extort and what you get is a forced, acted statement that troubles her and annoys those present who have to put up with your manipulative behavior. Whenever you force someone to say she loved you, even if she ‘loves’ you, whatever that love mean, you are forcing them to lie).
Apparently some idle restaurant workers were evidently provoked to laugh and mocked him and he confronted them, resulting in a fight that caused his death.
The person who acts to manipulate others (say you love me if you want me to hurry) is never happy but sensitive because he is ‘carrying on’ and when he is laughed at, his habitual anger/resentment is aroused and he is seized by impulse that will not be thwarted to confront those who mock him. Actors have this perverted logic that they can manipulate and hurt others but when they themselves are hurt, they explode.
The (mandatory) evolution of acting: Initially in your acting career, you force yourself to be angry, even when you do not feel so, just to intimidate or take advantage of others (eg frighten a child or a timid girl) but gradually you are no longer forcing but forced by regular practice to get angry even over minor matters that in the past never upset you until finally, your anger becomes demon like impulsive. Once triggered, your anger cannot be restrained but explode come what may. Every time you express your anger, no matter how trivial, you are practicing anger that will not remain unchanged but gets progressively easier to arouse, becomes more intense and prolonged, harder to exit. Observe yourself and you may notice that your stress or upset is not necessarily proportional to the magnitude of the trigger but with practice and age it gets easier to be aroused, rapidly rises to become intense and hard to shake off. For example, someone says something innocuous eg you’re fat or hostile (and it is true) and you blow up.
It is probably impulse, violent anger gone insane that caused him to confront the workers and it is impulse that caused them to retaliate and fatally injure him.
(ACTORS DO NOT REALIZE AND FOOLISHLY DO NOT CARE THAT THEY HAVE GRADUATED FROM FORCING THEMSELVES TO FALSELY ACT TO BEING FORCED BY EMOTIONAL URGES TO ACT THENCE TO EXPLOSIVE IMPULSES TO ACT THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED ONCE TRIGGERED AND IF IMPULSES ARE NOT ERADICATED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, THEY WILL ONE DAY SEIZE THEM TO ACT MADLY, VIOLENTLY, DESTRUCTIVELY. BOAST HOW QUICK YOU GET ANGRY, HOW QUICK YOU THINK, HOW QUICK YOU DEFEND YOURSELF, HOW QUICK AND STRONG YOUR PRIDE IS BUT ONE DAY THAT QUICK SWORD WILL BE TURNED IN ON YOURSELF)

(Though it is not very salient, he is forcefully seeing or staring and there is considerable aggressiveness lurking behind the nice smile. The noble person does not leave his mouth open unless he is speaking because it takes energy & thus stress to leave one’s mouth open. Ordinary people leave their mouths open to express fabricated eagerness or friendliness or when they are in a daze. Try for yourself whether keeping the mouth open or closed is more easeful)
The Buddha has admonished people to avoid indulgence in intoxicants, avoid sauntering in the street at unseemly hours and frequenting places of ‘entertainment’ (if you drink, saunter into the early hours and frequent pubs, you are asking for it should you be killed).
IF HE HAD NOT MADE HIS GIRL FRIEND SAY LOUDLY SHE LOVED HIM, WOULD THE WORKERS HAVE LAUGHED AT AND TAUNTED HIM? IF HE HAD NOT CONFRONTED THEM, WOULD THEY HAVE BASHED HIM? (MANY CAN SEE THE MISCHIEF IN OTHERS BUT CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT THEY ARE GUILTY OF SIMILAR MANIPULATIVE BEHAVIOR EG TELL A CHILD, “KISS ME LAH!”)
THE RATIONALE OF GOATS IS THAT WHEN OTHERS ARE THE BUTTS OF THEIR JOKES THEY HAVE GREAT HUMOR BUT WHEN THEY ARE THE BUTTS OF OTHERS’ JOKES, THEY SUDDENLY HAVE A POOR SENSE OF HUMOR. NOBODY HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR; IT IS ALWAYS AN ACT, A LIE TO GET ALONG. HUMOR IS SOMETHING YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE AND THEN IT BECOMES SO STRONG, YOU LAUGH WHENEVER SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY. AS JESUS SAID, WOE TO YOU WHO LAUGH, FOR YOU SHALL WEEP. AS JESUS AGAIN SAID, CONCERNING SIN BECAUSE MEN DO NOT BELIEVE IN HIM. YOU BELIEVE IN JESUS, DO YOU? THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL LAUGHING?
EVEN THOUGH THOSE WHO CAUSED HIS DEATH HAVE GRAVE KARMA, THE PERSON WHO MAY HAVE FAR GREATER KARMA IS THE VICTIM HIMSELF. BY HIS MISCHIEF, HE FORCED HIS GIRLFRIEND TO SAY SHE LOVED HIM (IF YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO SAY SOMETHING TO PLEASE SOMEONE, YOU ARE LYING) AND SURELY HE WAS AWARE OF BYSTANDERS AND HE LIKELY INTENDED TO PROVOKE ENVY AND JEALOUSY OR SHOW OFF. HE GOT MORE THAN HE BARGAINED FOR & PERHAPS BEING A SORE LOSER WITH AN EGO TOO BIG FOR HIS OWN GOOD, HE FOOLISHLY CONFRONTED HIS DETRACTORS GETTING HIMSELF KILLED, CAUSING SORROW TO HIS FAMILY WHILST LANDING THE ASSAULTERS IN BIG TROUBLE.
AS THE BUDDHA SAID, ORDINARY MISCHIEVOUS PEOPLE WHO FLAUNT THEMSELVES (PRETTY GIRLS WHO DRESS AND BEHAVE PROVOCATIVELY) DO NOT REALIZE THEY HAVE SUFFERING DUE THEM THAT IS AS VAST AS AN OCEAN COMPARED TO THE FEW DROPS IN NOBLE ONES. THE EARTH IS 4.5 BILLION YEARS OLD. IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO HELL AND TRANSMIGRATE FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS, THAT WOULD BE LIKE AN OCEAN.
TRYING TO BE FUNNY, PLAYING PRANKS AND MISCHIEF THAT ORDINARY PEOPLE PRACTICE ALL THE TIME AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO ARE NEVER HARMLESS BUT ALWAYS SERIOUSLY SINFUL CONDUCT. EVEN IF IS NOT FATAL FOR YOU LIKE IT IS FOR THIS MAN, IT CAN SEND YOU TO HELL OR THE ANIMAL WORLD NOT FOR A FEW YEARS BUT EVEN FOR ANOTHER EON.
THE ROAD TO HELL IS A SLOPE:
THE ROAD TO HELL IS NOT LEVEL BUT A FAIRLY STEEP SLOPE. AS SOON AS YOU GET ON THE SLOPE, THE MOMENTUM IS TO KEEP GOING DOWNHILL AND THE WAY BACK TO SAFETY GETS PROGRESSIVELY HARDER, ARDUOUS & DAUNTING.
EVERY TIME YOU GET ANGRY, REAL OR IMAGINED, YOU REINFORCE THE URGE AND INTENSITY OF ANGER IN YOU AND IT PROGRESSIVELY GETS HARDER TO EFFACE YOUR ANGER THAT WILL TORMENT YOU AND SEND YOU TO HELL.
FOR ORDINARY PEOPLE, ALREADY WELL SEIZED, ADAMANT THEIR NICENESS IS GOOD, WITHOUT CONVICTION OR CONCERN, THEY ARE COMPLACENT AND KEEP DRIFTING FURTHER DOWN THE SLOPE TO A WAITING MONSTER.
A Sinner Cannot Save Another Sinner:
The Buddha: "Cunda, it is impossible that one who is himself sunk in the mire should pull out another who is sunk in the mire. But it is possible Cunda if one is not sunk in the mire himself to do so.
"It is not possible, Cunda, that one who is himself not restrained, disciplined and quenched [as to his passions], should make others restrained and disciplined, should make them attain to the full quenching [of passions].
It is impossible for one who is himself an actor to pull out another who is sunk in the mire of acting but it is possible for one who does not act to do so, though actors may not want to be pulled out of their mire. Because everyone in this world is a suffering actor, it is not possible for them to help others out of the suffering even torment of acting but instead all their helping each other is an act that maintains each other in the torment of acting.
The Buddha said he was a heavenly being, not a being of this world, born in his last existence to teach not just humans but the gods. Jesus was not from this world but came to teach the world. No beings of this world can spontaneously save themselves because they are all co actors maintaining each other in sin and suffering even unto death and it takes someone who transcends the blindness of this world to show the way.
Effacement:
The Buddha said that however accomplished a person may be in attaining the blissful meditative states, it is only a pleasant existence and does not efface the unwholesome tendencies that may dog that mind. Effacement or wiping off bad tendencies to replace them by good tendencies is a laborious matter of mental or physical counter practice: every time you have the urge to kill an insect, you stop that urge, even in its tract and you replace it by the urge not to harm it, even save it from harm.
This indicates there is habit energy for evil impulses in the mind that must be exhausted by negating these impulses until they become extinct.
This is true because today, by repeated practice, my tendency to anger is far removed from in the past. What in the past aroused strong anger in me now arouse a ghost of anger I easily suppress. What caused irresistible jealousy in the past now can only arouse a brief two dimensional awareness of jealousy that I shrug off swiftly. At it is a joy to possess anger and jealousy that are pale shadows and can be shrugged off easily because nobody enjoys anger or jealousy but they all suffer and increase their suffering by denying they suffer.
Many people do not realize that every time they get angry, they are bonding themselves more strongly to anger and since anger is always suffering even as it inflicts pain on others, he is foolishly inflicting suffering on himself. Anger becomes increasingly swifter to arouse, more intense, last longer and is more difficult to exit. I see this is my sister’s son who nowadays will brook no criticism. He blows up even when he is told softly to brush his teeth or go to bed. Initially in the angry man’s career, he is able to tolerate upset or not getting what he wants without getting angry. As a result of frequently practicing anger, soon he gets angry every time his desires are thwarted.
Ordinary & Noble Right View:
The Buddha: "Right view is of two sorts: There is right view with fermentations [asava], siding with merit, resulting in the acquisitions [of becoming]; and there is noble right view, without fermentations, transcendent, a factor of the path.
"And what is the right view that has fermentations? 'There is what is given, offered, sacrificed. There are fruits & results of good & bad actions. There is this & the next world. There is mother & father. There are spontaneously reborn beings; there are priests who, faring rightly &, proclaim this world & the next after having directly known for themselves.'
"And what is the right view that is without fermentations? The faculty, strength of discernment, analysis of qualities as a factor of Awakening, the path factor of right view in one whose mind is noble, free from fermentations, who is fully possessed of the noble path. This is the right view that is without fermentations, transcendent a factor of the path.

An Analysis Of Sadness:
THE BUDDHA SAID A SAGE IS WITHOUT SORROWS; HENCE ALL SORROWS ARE NOT MERITORIOUS AS FOOLS DELUDE THEMSELVES BUT INSTEAD SORROWS ARE NOT ONLY SINFUL BUT DANGEROUS BECAUSE THEY ARE ADDICTIVE, GAIN STRENGTH WITH PRACTICE AND WILL SEIZE THE FOOL. ALL ORDINARY PEOPLE NOT ONLY EXPERIENCE SORROW, NOT ONLY FOOLISHLY UPHOLD SORROW FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS BUT THEY ARE FORCEFULLY OR EMOTIONALLY SAD, THEY FORCEFULLY EXPRESS THEIR SORROWS (INSTEAD OF PASSIVELY EXPERIENCE SORROW) AND THEY FAKE SORROW FAR MORE THAN THEY CONCEDE. WHENEVER SOMEONE TELLS YOU SOMETHING SAD AND YOU EXPRESS SADNESS, YOU ARE (SOLEMNLY) FAKING IT TO PLEASE OR IMPRESS HIM. IT IS NEVER GENUINE BUT YOU FORCE YOURSELF SO WELL FOR SO LONG THAT YOU ARE NOW FORCED BY IRRESISTIBLE EMOTIONS TO EXPRESS SYMPATHY OR SADNESS. JUST AS PEOPLE INSIST THEIR SMILES ARE GENUINE, WHOLESOME WHEN THEY ARE LIES, EVEN SO THEIR PAINED LOOKS ARE ALSO WELL FAKED LIES THAT THEY NOW DELUDE THEMSELVES AS TRUE, HEART FELT.
All sentimental or melancholic music have most if not all musical notes deliberately & forcefully stretched by performing musicians or singers to make them sentimental or sad.
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR MUSIC TO SOUND SAD IF ITS MUSICAL NOTES ARE NOT STRETCHED. THE NOTES DID NOT STRETCH THEMSELVES BUT ARE STRETCHED BY (SINFUL, PERVERTED) MUSICIANS WHO ARE SURELY NOT SAD BUT THEY FAKE OR CONJURE SADNESS IN THEIR MUSIC TO MOVE THEIR AUDIENCE WHO IN TURN FOOLISHLY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE MOVED (INFLUENCED TO BECOME SAD).
BOTH THE MUSICIANS AND THEIR APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE DO NOT REALIZE WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS NOT HARMLESS BUT THEY ARE BEING MUTUALLY BRAINWASHED, REINFORCING THEIR BONDS TO SADNESS THAT HAVE INCREASING AND EVERLASTING CONSEQUENCES.
BY FABRICATING SADNESS (MUSICIANS) TO IMPRESS AUDIENCES AND BY WILLINGLY ALLOWING SADNESS TO BE INDUCED MUSICALLY IN THEMSELVES (AUDIENCE), THEY ARE ADDICTING THEMSELVES IN AN ESCALATING FASHION TO UNNECESSARY, SELF GENERATED SADNESS THAT WILL BECOME INCREASINGLY EASY TO AROUSE, DEEPER AND HARDER TO EXIT LEADING FINALLY TO DEPRESSION AND EVEN SUICIDE.
IF YOU ARE FREQUENTLY FABRICATING SADNESS AND WELCOMING UNNECESSARY SADNESS IN YOURSELF, DOES IT NOT SERVE YOU RIGHT THAT LATER YOU BECOME A TORMENTED VICTIM OF YOUR FECKLESS SADNESS?
IT IS POSSIBLE TO PLAY THE SAME SAD MUSIC WITHOUT STRETCHING ANY OF ITS MUSICAL NOTES AND IT WOULD THEN NOT SOUND SAD BUT INCOMPARABLY MORE PLEASANT. BY NOT PLAYING YOUR MUSIC WITH STRETCHED NOTES, BY APPRECIATING MUSIC THAT DO NOT HAVE STRETCHED NOTES, YOU ARE EXPRESSING YOUR PREFERENCE FOR HAPPINESS AND REJECT SADNESS. IS IT ANY SURPRISE THAT THIS MAN WHO DOES NOT ACCEPT SADNESS, DOES NOT FABRICATE SADNESS WILL NOT BE AFFLICTED BY MAD SADNESS LATER?
Genuine or reactive sadness can only be triggered by real losses or pain, eg a dear one has passed away. A person who (truly) lets his yes be yes only experiences his grief passively without tampering or deliberately exhibiting his grief; he does not fake or forcefully intensify or prolong his grief or the expression it. When he feels sad with a loss, he feels it but as soon as that feeling passes, he does not fake it or try to summon it when someone comes to express his condolences. Ordinary people who suffer the loss of a dear one may feel guilty and force themselves to feel sad more than they actually feel, try to prolong their sadness and fabricate sadness when sadness has momentarily departed but they need to impress visiting relatives.
Apart from the inevitable grief of loss that afflicts all existence, ordinary people fecklessly create unnecessary sadness for themselves by constant acting to create stress that leads to insoluble conflict and thence sadness. They also fabricate or fake sadness to please and impress others (eg a violinist plays with intense fabricated melancholy to impress and the audience forcefully will themselves to appreciate the ‘touching’ music). This faked sadness did not arise from a real external trigger but is generated virtually by the mind.
Where genuine sadness only arises because of a cause (eg bereavement), faked sadness does not need a cause but is virtually generated by that sinful mind. Hence the source of faked sadness lies within that sinful mind, is entirely self willed and every time the person generates sadness to deceive, impress or please others, he is reinforcing, strengthening that painful pathway of virtual sadness in his mind. Isn’t it a matter of course and serves him right when he is later seized by tormenting depression for willfully faking sadness all his life in the name of deceiving others?
Ordinary people are already hopelessly hooked on faking sadness, even though they cannot see themselves faking it. They have graduated from having to force themselves to fabricate sadness to being forced to act sad in situations that they have always acted sad. Certain situations, objects and smells will trigger strong sadness that they cannot resist.
Unless they learn to be mindful, to pay attention to themselves so that whenever they lapse into ‘inexplicable’ sadness they immediately abandon whatever worldly pursuits they are undertaking to devote effort to rid their minds of the sadness, they will succumb to deepening sadness. All types of sadness, reactive or self induced (faked) can be removed by meditation to induce calm detachment. All sadness, real or faked, if allowed to occupy the mind, is like a cancer that will turn malignant and terminal later.
On the other hand, there are those who also experience sadness because they sinfully act but they are given to toughness and forcefully hate and suppress all kinds of display of sadness. This is the other extreme form of (acted) self-mortification in contrast to those who constantly brood and will sadness on themselves. It is a form of enforced denial that creates more stress and conflict. To harbor sadness is suffering, to further deny one’s sadness is compounding one’s sadness with conflict and further stress.
‘GENUINE’ OR REACTIVE SADNESS (A SAGE CLINGS TO NOTHING & HAS NO SADNESS) EG THE LOSS OF A DEAR ONE OR DEAR OBJECT MAY BE A RELATIVELY INFREQUENT CAUSE OF SADNESS COMPARED WITH SADNESS GENERATED BY ONE’S CONSTANT GOING AGAINST ONESELF TO ACT, CREATING UNNECESSARY, INSOLUBLE STRESS LEADING TO SADNESS AND ENTIRELY FAKED SADNESS TO DECEIVE, PLEASE OR IMPRESS OTHERS. PEOPLE MAY SEVERELY UNDERESTIMATE THE EXTENT OF SELF GENERATED FAKED OR EXAGGERATED SADNESS IN THEM.
SADNESS IS A UNPLEASANT EMOTIONAL MENTAL STATE THAT GAINS STRENGTH WITH REPEATED PRACTICE (LIKE TENNIS) TO BECOME QUICK TO BE AROUSED, DEEPER AND HARDER TO EXIT LEADING TO DEPRESSION AND EVEN SUICIDE YET FECKLESS PEOPLE CONSTANTLY HEAP UNECESSARY SADNESS ON THEMSELVES EITHER INDIRECTLY AS A RESULT OF THEIR ACTING OR DOWNRIGHT FAKING SADNESS TO DECEIVE OTHERS. DOES IT NOT SERVE THEM RIGHT THAT THEY BECOME HOPELESSLY SAD FOR NO REASON IN OLD AGE?
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IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SUFFER MENTAL DISTRESS IF YOU TRULY DO NOT THINK WITH FORCE, DO NOT THINK WITH EMOTIONS. IT IS BECAUSE ACTORS CONSTANTLY THINK WITH FORCE, THINK WITH EMOTIONS, NEVER THINK PASSIVELY, NEVER THINK LET THEIR YES BE YES ONLY, WHICH IS WHY THEY ARE CONSTANTLY BESET BY MENTAL STRESS.
TO THINK CALMLY & CLEARLY PASSIVELY, SHORN OF FORCE, SHORN OF EMOTION IS POSSIBLE IN ONE WHOSE MIND IS NOBLE WHO PRACTICES MEDITATION CONSTANTLY TO CALM HIS MIND.
EVERYTHING ACTORS DO IS DONE (FALSELY, STRESSFULLY) WITH FORCE THAT MAY BE CAREFULLY HIDDEN AS ACTED GENTLENESS THAT IS DETECTABLE BY THE DISCERNING (A VELVET LINED GLOVED IRON FIST). THEY SPEAK, DO THINGS, THINK & PERCEIVE (SEE, HEAR, TASTE, TOUCH AND SMELL) FALSELY, PRETENTIOUSLY WITH FORCE. UNTIL YOU TOTALLY ELIMINATE THIS TAMPERING FORCE TO LET YOUR YES BE YES ONLY, YOU WILL NEVER BE FREE OF SUFFERING BUT YOU WILL BE DETAINED BY STRESS THAT ENDS IN EVERLASTING TORMENT.
Manipulating Others:
Whenever you say or do things to manipulate others, you cannot be letting your yes be yes only but you are dishonest, acting (fabricating speech or deed) and lying.
If the person who was killed can walk faster if his girlfriend had said she loved him, it indicates he can walk faster if he wanted and he was, for reasons best known to himself only putting on a show straggling behind. This is especially irresponsible considering it is 3 am and he should not loiter and risk robbery or rape to his girlfriend. Many laboring under the stress of constant acting can become seized by mild depression and perhaps a bit drunk, decide it is charming to act dragging his feet walking slowly or they may be deliberately antagonistic; if my girlfriend is in a hurry, he will purposely walk slowly. All actors naturally harbor antagonism. If you tell them ‘A’, they will say ‘B’, if you say B, they will say A.
If he truly could not walk faster (eg drunk), he is then telling a lie to say he can walk faster if she loved him.
Hence, either way he is being manipulative and that is serious sin.
There are no excuses to tell a lie you can walk faster or act walking slow when you can walk faster perhaps just to annoy your girlfriend and if you do, you may be asking for your head to be chopped off one day and even if that does not happen, you are not headed for heaven but eternal habitation.
The Difference Between Ordinary & Noble Right View:
The Buddha: "Right view is of two sorts: There is right view with fermentations [asava], siding with merit, resulting in the acquisitions [of becoming, future existences]; and there is noble right view, without fermentations, transcendent, a factor of the path.
"And what is the right view that has fermentations? 'There is what is given, offered, sacrificed. There are fruits & results of good & bad actions. There is this & the next world. There is mother & father. There are spontaneously reborn beings; there are priests who, faring rightly &, proclaim this world & the next after having directly known for themselves.'
"And what is the right view that is without fermentations? The faculty of discernment, the strength of discernment, the analysis of qualities as a factor of Awakening, the path factor of right view in one whose mind is noble, free from fermentations, who is fully possessed of the noble path. This is the right view that is without fermentations, transcendent and a factor of the path to enlightenment.
Comment: There are many who do not believe in charity or there are inevitable results of good & bad actions. Hence just to hold the right view that charity bears fruits, there are results of good and bad actions is a significant advance in morality. This does not however mean the person is consummate in discerning precisely the good and bad in every situation. It is here that the person with right view without fermentation excels in that he has the strength of discernment that enables him to determine the moral nature in any given situation.
For instance, the person with ordinary right view may not discern that there is any sin in asking your girlfriend to say she loved you as a precondition for hurrying up. In this situation the person with noble right view discerns serious sin because the person is actually asking his girlfriend to say against her wish (tell a lie) she loved him just to please him and there may be ulterior motives like showing off to onlookers how privileged he is. Further, he is admitting that his straggling is manipulative because he can walk faster if he wished if he was told he was loved. By seeing clearly the moral nature of the situation, he is impartial, he does not believe wrongly (like lay people) that the victim died blamelessly but he has a significant share of the blame for what happened.
Many who believe in good do not realize they are being sarcastic (eg ‘everything you say is right’ when they mean the opposite) and how sarcasm is a form of lying that hurts never benefits others. It takes a person with noble right view to penetrate into the nature of the situation and not condone sarcasms.
Why Rumsfeld Is Dishonorable:
If Bin Laden or Saddam wanted you to know where they are, they would have told you so. If they do not and you make all sorts of clandestine efforts (spying) to find out where they are, you are taking what is not given and stealing, a divine crime. All spying is sinful and if you see nothing wrong, you will be back here for more suffering.
The US routinely offers millions as reward for information on fugitives like Bin Laden. This is sin because you are bribing people to betray others that may get them killed. The person who offers rewards and the person who collects the rewards have grave sin that is more everlasting than their enjoyment of the largesse.
There were many reckless attempts to assassinate Saddam. Based on ‘reliable’ information a plane swiftly dropped a guided bomb on a restaurant. Saddam was not there but the bomb killed innocent people in the restaurant.
Did the US express any regret? Are waiters and waitresses considered combatants or are they considered expendable? Did the victims fake their deaths and injuries? Did the US compensate for the waiters who got killed and how can you compensate for a life?
If Rumsfeld and those responsible know that in future lives they may be destined to be targets for others’ precision laser guided bombs, they may not be so cavalier.
It is callous to target with aerial bombs civilian areas in pursuit of enemies and if you do, surely you are brazen, have great gall to accuse enemies of faking injury to women and children to besmirch you. What honor has he got, except in the height of his delusion? Were the innocents in the restaurant that were killed by the bomb that did not get Saddam faking their deaths?
A Craving For Sadness:
Most if not all actors absorbed in their private make believe worlds they stubbornly call being themselves do not realize that they not only frequently experience sadness, they not only express or act out their sadness (by grimacing, visibly brooding, stretching syllables or actions by doing things listlessly) but they have a craving for sadness just like they have a craving to be nice (or nasty) to others.
The reasons why they have a craving for sadness is because despite forceful denial, occasionally they sense their lives are hollow, merely a series of acts projected to the world and maintained with mind warping determination, they are beset by insoluble stress created by their acting and they actively fake (sadness inducing) sadness or distress when relating to others.
Like all cravings, eg alcoholism, the craving is habituating, escalating and leads to loss of control (depression). So long as the source of the craving remains, the actor is only struggling constantly, stressfully to restrain or control the craving to be sad.
The source of their craving for sadness is their constant forceful acting that includes their acting of sadness (just as they act or fake happiness) to please or impress others (eg acted sympathy). Acting creates self induced stress and conflict that is insoluble because the actor keeps acting leading to despair and thence sadness.
Not only do actors have a craving for sadness but because they have fabricated sadness so often so well, there is now a virtual or internalized self generating source of sadness in their minds that does not need external triggers or valid causes to create sadness. They can become sad or have the blues for no or little or quaint reason if they so wish. Mild depression is masochistically pleasant to perverted actors and they even welcome and entertain them, not realizing they are like the man floating on a barge in the river buffeted by torrents heading for a waterfall of depression downstream.
The wise person will learn to treat all sadness (sentimentality) as poison, like a cobra in their minds and learn to get rid of it as soon as it rises in his mind not by being aggressive but by seclusion and meditation to calm or exorcise the mind of sadness. He will not dwell on thoughts or music or actions that will prolong or feed the sadness.
AN IMPORTANT PRINCIPLE TO REMEMBER:
WHATEVER IS DONE, ESPECIALLY DONE WITH FORCE & EMOTION, BE IT THROUGH SPEECH, ACTION, THOUGHT OR AS MENTAL STATES IS NEVER WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE, NEVER FORGOTTEN BUT ALWAYS CONTRIBUTES TO HABIT FORMATION, REINFORCES A TENDENCY, BECOMES EASIER/QUICKER TO RECALL, GAINS STRENGTH AND BECOMES HARDER TO EXIT AND IF WHAT YOU FREQUENTLY PRACTICE IS STRESSFUL, EVEN TORMENTING TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS, YOU ARE BONDING YOURSELF TO SUFFERING, LIKE THE MAN WHO KEEPS HAMMERING MORE NAILS INTO HIS OWN COFFIN OF FUTURE WOES INSTEAD OF STOP HAMMERING AND REMOVING NAILS ALREADY IN.
HENCE, THE WISE MAN, FOR HIS OWN SAKE (WHAT IS TRULY GOOD FOR YOU IS ALSO GOOD FOR OTHERS), WILL DEVOTE HIMSELF ABOVE ALL THE ALLURES OF THIS WORLD TO AVOIDING SPEECH, ACTIONS, THOUGHTS AND STATES OF MINDS THAT ARE STRESSFUL OR TORMENTING AND LEARN TO CULTIVATE UNTIL THEY BECOME SECOND NATURE (PASSIVE, UNEMOTIONAL) SPEECH, ACTIONS, THOUGHTS AND STATES OF MIND THAT ARE EASEFUL, CALM AND CLEAR.
IF YOU THINK TO BE SAD IS A WONDERFUL STATE OF YOUR MIND, BY ALL MEANS INDULGE IN SADNESS, CONTINUE ACTING TO CHURN UP INEVITABLE SADNESS, FIND EXCUSES TO BECOME SAD, LISTEN TO A LOT OF SAD MUSIC, EXAGGERATE AND FAKE SADNESS. YOU ARE SACRIFICING YOURSELF TO THE ALTAR OF FUTURE TORMENT AND PERVERTED.
IF YOU THINK SADNESS IS UNPLEASANT AND DANGEROUS, YOU WILL STAND SENTINEL AND BANISH SADNESS WHENEVER IT APPEARS AT THE DOORSTEP OF YOUR MIND INSTEAD OF WELCOMING IT IN. BUT IF YOU MUST SMILE AND STRETCH YOUR SYLLABLES, YOU WILL NEVER SEE AN END TO SADNESS BECAUSE SADNESS IS THEIR INEVITABLE OFFSPRING. THERE IS NO SADNESS IN HEAVEN BUT ENDLESS SADNESS IN HELL AND ON EARTH. HENCE, WHAT IS THE USE IN INDULGING IN SADNESS HERE IF IT IS OF NO USE, NO CURRENCY IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN? BETTER PRACTICE BEING HAPPY (NOT ACTING HAPPY BY SMILING).
EVERY MOMENT LIVED IN LOVE OR GOODWILL OR NON ANGER IS EVERY MOMENT’S DENIAL OR DISPLACEMENT OF HATRED OR ILL WILL OR ANGER. THE WISE PERSON WILL PRACTICE TO LIVE ALWAYS IN LOVE AND GOODWILL UNTIL HATRED & ILL WILL BECOMES VESTIGEAL THEN EXTINCT.
If your yes is always yes and nothing more, what is there to be sad about, what is so sad about your yes always being yes? If you can never let your yes be yes but must always say more, much more, endlessly more, you must always do more, much more, endlessly more, your yes can be no or both yes & no, then that is the root of insoluble confusion & conflict that always lead to sadness.
Setting Themselves Up:
When you experience sorrow because a loved one has passed away, that is real or reactive sorrow.
When you purposely create sorrow for yourself (masochistically) by stretching the notes in the music you play, by appreciating the stretched notes in the music you listen to, you are unnecessarily embracing sadness, fabricating sadness for selfish purposes (eg impressing others what a proud aficionado of opera you are).
Similarly, priests, politicians and ordinary people force themselves to act solemn (a form of mild sorrow) in the name of impressing others of their sincerity. People fake suffering or act subdued if they are in seedy areas for fear the nasty people in those areas will pick on them.
It is enough that you merely experience any genuine sadness that comes your way but if you foolishly create sadness for yourself by appreciating sadness (eg listening to sad music), by constantly acting that leads to sadness and by faking or acting sadness to deceive others, you are making a foolish wish you do not realize will be fulfilled: since you are constantly appreciating sadness, constantly creating sadness by acting and constantly faking sadness, then you shall have forever all the sadness that your foolish and deceitful heart desires and more.
You do not have to stretch your syllables or stretch your movements to experience sadness but you stretch your syllables mournfully, you stretch your movements mournfully to fake or exaggerate your sadness. Because the stretching is fabricated, it is a form of faking or acting. Do not expect people to be lousy, hesitant actors, just as you do not expect someone who has been playing tennis all his life to be a lousy tennis player. Hence, when people act sad, they stretch their syllables and movements to fake or exaggerate sadness, it is seamless and very convincing to fellow actors who cannot see through acting in its entirety.
You can force yourself not to be sad but that will be an act that can be broken down if enough force is applied on it. The Buddha is truly, effortlessly without sorrow because with the ending of all effluents, all I making, he is effortlessly released from all sorrows.
Hence, whenever you experience sorrow, do not congratulate yourself what a wonderful guy you are, do not exhibit your sorrows and do not encourage others to experience sorrow because every time you experience sorrow, you strengthen sorrow in you, you set a bad example by exhibiting your sorrow or recommending suffering to others with karma attached. Whenever you experience sorrow, remind yourself it is a sign of compromise, a sign of sin and you are a slave to, not a master of sorrow that will lead inevitably downhill to depression and even suicide if not corrected (seldom if ever done).
YOU CAN EXPERIENCE SORROW PASSIVELY WITHOUT ACTING (EXPRESSION) OR YOU CAN EXPRESS SORROW ACTIVELY, FORCEFULLY. YOU EXPERIENCE SORROW PASSIVELY BY MINDFULLY BEARING THE SORROW ROILING IN YOUR MIND WITHOUT PROLONGING OR EXAGGERATING IT, WITHOUT MENTALLY PRETENDING YOU ARE NOT SAD, WITHOUT PHYSICALLY ACTING YOU ARE HAPPY OR SAD. YOU ACTIVELY EXPRESS SORROW BY WEEPING, MOANING AND GROANING, WRINGING YOUR HANDS OR THUMPING YOUR FIST AND DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR. SUCH BEHAVIOR ONLY INTENSIFY AND PROLONG THE SORROW.
YOU CAN ONLY END SORROW PERMANENTLY IF YOU TRULY PUT AN END TO ALL FORCEFUL ACTING (EG STRETCHING SYLLABLES, SMILING, NEVER LETTING YOUR YES BE YES ONLY) THAT IS THE FOUNTAIN OF ALL SORROWS. UNTIL YOU STOP ACTING, YOU CAN EITHER PASSIVELY EXPERIENCE SORROW WITHOUT PROLONGING OR INTENSIFYING IT OR YOU ACTIVELY EXPRESS SORROW. ALL ACTORS ARE HELPLESSLY FORCED BY THEIR STRONG EMOTIONS AND INGRAINED ACTING TO EXPRESS SORROW.
Why Idle Chatter & Gossip Are Not Harmless But Acts & Deadly:
Idle chatter and gossiping are always stressful to participants (no matter how much people smile and act as if or fake it is enjoyable), they are always forceful, emotional (accompanied by excitement, even when whispered), fabricated (what & how you want to chatter or gossip about must always be conceive and then executed) and learnt by imitation and encouragement.
Because idle chatter and gossip are always stressful, they are forms of forcefully going against oneself in the name of pleasing or impressing others or malice, they are always forms of acting or falsity. It is NEVER letting your yes be yes only because idle chatter & gossip is always saying more, much more for show than substance often in a twist & turn reiterating fashion that comes from evil.
Thus idle chatter and gossiping are forcefully, stressfully engaging in conversational falsehoods that people have foolishly trivialized so that they now see nothing wrong. Whenever you gossip or chatter you maintain or engage others in falsehood and you are setting a bad example. Hence idle chatter and gossip are never harmless or beneficial but apart from being stressful activities leading to mad restlessness in old age, they are as the Buddha rightly said, lead even to hell or the animal womb. The Buddha is not being overzealous but instead ordinary people are very foolish and deluded in (fatally) seeing nothing wrong with idle chatter and gossip.
Furthermore, idle chatter & gossip are addictive; every time you gossip or chatter, you are reinforcing the urge to repeat, you get better at gossiping and chattering until in many people that urge is now very strong, even impulsive. Initially you force yourself to learn how to gossip or chatter but now you are forced by compulsion whenever the occasion arises to gossip or chatter, you are proud and even keen to display your chattering skills. Listen to sparrows chattering away, you may be born as sparrows to fulfill your chattering skills.
Talking about the weather or about football or about kids is compulsively much preferred idle chatter than uncomfortable social silences, not because ordinary people are so good but because they must keep up with pretense that they are friendly. Hence it is never voluntary but it is a compulsive ploy to chatter or gossip and unless they assiduously efface the compulsion to chatter, ordinary people are doomed, heading for true madness & restlessness in old age when they cannot keep still but must find something mad to do or say.
The Buddha: "Divisive tale-bearing (gossip) leads to hell, rebirth as a common animal, the realm of the hungry shades (Ethiopia). The slightest of all the results is that, when one becomes a human being, it leads to the breaking of one's friendships.
"Frivolous chattering -- leads to hell, rebirth as a common animal, the realm of the hungry shades. The slightest of all the results is that, when one becomes a human being, it leads to words that aren't worth taking to heart.
Lying, divisive tale-bearing (gossip), abusive speech & idle chatter. This is wrong speech.
"Abstaining from lying, divisive tale-bearing, abusive speech & idle chatter. This is the right speech that has fermentations & results in acquisitions (of merit). (There is noble right speech of one possessed of the strength of discernment, without fermentation and does not result in acquisitions and further becoming)
Jesus: "I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth (what characterizes him is his eye for truth because truth is something you see or don’t) comes, he will guide you into all the truth (Jesus did not say ‘the truth’ but ‘all the truth’, acknowledging that there are other sources of truth); for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.
Comment: The Buddha said he was the Perfect One, the Knower of All, hence he does not hear but he knows and speaks. If the counselor knows everything, he would not need to hear but he would speak on his own. If he does not know everything, then insights will alight (uniquely) on his mind and he will speak.
The Buddha called himself many things like the one who thus comes, the one well gone, the perfect one, the knower of all, teacher to men & gods but he never called himself Brahma, the Great Brahma, the All-Seeing, All-Powerful, the Maker, Creator, Father of All That Have Been and Shall Be because he does not preside over this world, is not involved with this world but he is calmly, blissfully bidding goodbye to the world of existing.
Because all ordinary people stretch their syllables all the time, it is a form of acting, is always stressful and sinful, then the counselor Jesus promised must also tell you to stop stretching syllables because if you don’t, you will continue to stretch your syllables and be beset by insoluble stress and sinning.
Natalie Wood’s Tragic Story:
I saw Natalie Wood in the West Side Story last year and my impression was that she was highly strung and behaved in a violently jerky or impulsive way. I surmised she must be tormented, a driven person, a bit mad if not verging on madness inside.
In truth she was suffering severely in private agony with no way out of her plight. The only way out is to cease acting, there are NO other ways but it is beyond her foolish lack of insight, the permission of her karma and in the realm of possibility for her or many fellow actors.
Natalie Wood was born in San Francisco to Russian émigrés escaping the 1917 revolution. Her father was an alcoholic given to rages and her mother (karma attached) would ‘implanted all kinds of irrational fears and anxieties’ in her and would ‘cold shoulder’ her if she lost an acting part. She started acting as a child and was known as the Wonder Child. She acted in ‘quite a few’ breakdown scenes in movies. Quote: “Nobody could lose control on screen like Natalie”. She had a brief first marriage to Robert Wagner, remarried briefly to Gregson, had many affairs with people like Warren Beatty, Sinatra, McQueen, had bouts of uncontrollable panic and depression, spent years in (invariably futile) psychoanalysis and made one serious and one not serious suicide attempts. In her last few years, it was alleged her inner demons again stirred, she was addicted to painkillers and alcohol, there was infidelity and she drowned on her husband’s yacht after being drunk.
Natalie Wood 'raped as a teenager'

Mysterious circumstances surround the death of Natalie Wood
(There is a smile to be nice never good. Her mouth like those of many who act, are often not easefully closed but stressfully slightly opened to express eagerness. Try keeping your lips partially opened like her compared with keeping them gently closed to experience the difference. Unless you are eating or speaking, the closed mouth is the most easeful posture but actors must madly do everything the hard way to impress others. She is staring, as all people who act do, and if you look carefully, as in common with all actors, she is looking only with her right eye, her left eye is vacant, seeing but not seeing. When anyone acts, she must keep a blind eye to the harm she is act-ually doing to herself)
A new biography of late actress Natalie Wood says the star was raped as a teenager by an unnamed movie actor.
Suzanne Finstad's book, Natasha: The Biography of Natalie Wood, based around more than 400 interviews, says the star was temporarily separated from actor husband Robert Wagner, and suffered a difficult childhood.
Wood, born Natasha Zacharenko, appeared in many films including Miracle on 34th Street, Rebel Without a Cause and West Side Story.
The book controversially reveals Wood's "rape" at the age of 16 by a man who Finstad will only identify as a "powerful, married movie star".
Accidental drowning
She added: "I'm sure it was always in her psyche (speaking carelessly in absolute terms and presumptuous). When you've been raped it never really disappears, particularly when it's someone you've idolized and when your mother conspires to keep it a secret."
Despite Finstad's painstaking research, she is unable to explain Wood's accidental drowning at the age of 43 in 1981.
Wood was found dead during a boat trip with actors Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken.
Wood may have fallen into the water while trying to step into a rubber dinghy tied to the yacht. More than an hour may have elapsed before the authorities were alerted.
'Inaccuracies'
Finstad's book offers a detailed account of the events leading up to Wood's drowning, but cannot explain why Wood was trying to leave the yacht in her night clothes.
The other three people on the boat - Wagner, Walken and the boat captain Dennis Davern - refused to speak to Finstad.
Robert Wagner's lawyers dispute Finstad's account of the night that Wood drowned. (Were there some dark secrets about the apparent suicide such that those who were present refuse to speak?)
"The book did not accurately depict what occurred on that evening and there were many inaccuracies in the book."


Natalie Wood and Warren Beatty in Splendor in the Grass
(They are both faking it, never merely exaggerating it in a cruel charade. The smile on her face, the ‘loving’ touch of his face are all fabricated with carefully concealed force to please the other person in the name of impressing others or to satisfy one’s lust. He too is faking it, faking intimacy with tension seething in him, to get what he wants, eg under her pants.)
Obsessed mother
According to the book, Wood's mother Maria Gurdin obsessively pushed her daughter to become an actress, pulling the wings off a butterfly (a fabrication to induce something, therefore an act, there is serious karma for cruelty, even to a butterfly) to make her cry on cue and causing her serious injury.
During the filming of The Green Promise, a 10-year-old Wood broke her wrist in a collapsing bridge stunt. Gurdin concealed the injury in order that Wood could continue filming.
Wood's broken left wrist was never treated, resulting in a deformity which had to be covered with a bracelet for the rest of her life (vanity and a form of lying to conceal defects from others; it is because of your false urge to impress others, a manifestation of acting that you conceal defects).
The book also touches on Wood's breakup with Robert Wagner. Hollywood gossip magazines at the time believed she was having an affair with Splendor in the Grass co-star Warren Beatty.
***
Natalie Wood’s tragic, tormented private life that stretched virtually from start to finish is never a blameless, incomprehensible personal tragedy or misfortune but instead it is the completely predictable, rational and inescapable consequence of her own foolishness, her own determined manipulative and tormenting acting coupled with and abetted by the wicked, manipulative, exploiting acting of those who surrounded her, society included. It is a salutary lesson to all who will act, be it in daily life or on stage.
Like so many beautiful, rich and famous stars and notaries, she should be enjoying her privileged life to the fullest, feel secure and wanting to preserve her life as long as possible, not suffering, addicted to drugs and trying to kill herself (like so many other rich and famous stars). Yet if the truth was told of the private lives of these beautiful, rich and famous, they may all be tales of uniformly private agony, debauchery, of uniformly private weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Her torments are not incomprehensible random misfortune but they are representative not just of her genre (the rich and the famous) but her torment is actually the universally condition of human existence before 1977. It is a cruel hoax (with grave karma for those who help foster it) that still continues today that there are some ordinary people or some wealthy, famous and beautiful people who are or can be nevertheless happy. In truth because all ordinary people act and acting is always mind warping, they ALL suffer torment that they deceitfully hide with grim determination from public view. Only those who truly do not act do not suffer and they are as rare as hen’s teeth on earth.
Her torments are not unique but essentially the perfectly predictable torments of anyone who will act and to the extent that all ordinary people too are actors, they must share similar woes.
It is her fate or karma (for past sins) that she was born who she was to experience the agonies she suffered that do not end at death but even as she suffered terribly at the hands of others, including her mother, she herself has dished out wickedness to others and will wander on suffering that the Buddha says is as vast as an ocean until she opens her eyes to truth and therefore stop heaping karma anew.
NOBODY EVER ENJOYS ACTING BUT ACTING IS ALWAYS FALSE, STRESSFUL, MIND WARPING, CONFLICT AROUSING, INSECURE, FULL OF FEARS THAT ONE MAY BREAK DOWN OR BECOME VIOLENT UNDER THE INCESSANT PROBING BY FELLOW GOATS OF ALL STRIPES THAT NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY HOPE TO COPE EQUALLY WELL WITH ALL BUT ONE MUST DREAD MEETING CERTAIN BRANDS OF ACTING GOATS WHO MIGHT TEST THE CHINKS IN ONE’S PAINFULLY CONSTRUCTED AND MAINTAINED ACTING ARMOR. ACTING IS NEVER DRIVEN BY TRUE LOVE BUT IT IS ALWAYS DRIVEN BY GREAT VIOLENCE AND REPRESSED HATRED FOR SELF AND OTHERS. FOR A WHILE, WHEN ONE IS FRESH AND RESTED, ACTING MAY BE RELATIVE FUN IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE ONE’S GOALS (EG FAME, WEALTH) BUT STRESS AND TENSION RAPIDLY BUILDS UP TO BECOME UNBEARABLE AND IT BECOMES AGONY BECAUSE ONE CANNOT STOP ACTING AND ONE IS CONSTANTLY EXPOSED TO THE MERCILESS, BRUTAL ACTING OF FELLOW ACTORS THREATENING TO PUSH ONE OVER THE BRINK.
ALL SOCIAL INTERACTIONS, BE THEY PRIVATE, DEAREST PRIVATE OR PUBLIC ARE IN TRUTH FAKED, USUALLY FAKED IN EXAGGERATED MANNER, NEVER MERE EXAGGERATION, LET ALONE BEING TRUE (IMPOSSIBLE BEFORE THE CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE OF 1977 AND NEVER SEEN AMONGST ORDINARY PEOPLE EVEN TODAY). WHEN YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL ACTRESS OR A PUBLIC FIGURE, THE DEMANDS ARE INTENSE FOR YOU TO REV UP YOUR ACTING ENGINE TO EVEN DANGEROUS LEVELS TESTING THE LIMITS OF YOUR ACTING ENDURANCE (BEFORE YOU GO MAD OR VIOLENT). IT IS THIS THAT EXPLAINS WHY TRAGEDY BEFELL SO MANY STARS (PRINCESS DIANA, MARILYN, ELVIS, JAMES DEAN, BRANDO). EVEN THOSE WHO DON’T EXPLODE LIKE SUPERNOVA LEAD TORMENTED ALCOHOL OR DRUG RIDDLED, DEBAUCHING PRIVATE LIVES CAREFULLY CONCEALED FROM THE PUBLIC.
In the past acting was mandatory because you had no choice but coerced by society and driven by consciousness constraints you had to act, weep and gnash your teeth and die not only broken hearted but carrying the considerable debts you foolishly, ignorantly accumulated for yourself acting.
Then there was a revolutionary, never before unmistakable change in the consciousness of the world that occurred after 1977 and it is arguably the best thing that ever happened to anyone (it certainly was objectively to me) because it liberated them from previously tormenting unremitting consciousness shackles in a way nobody dreamt could be possible or conceivable or existed.
The person I am today, serene, clearly thinking, self sufficient and effortlessly self assured is unthinkable, inconceivable and impossible before 1977, nor reflecting that they too have changed but still acting are the appearances and behavior of everyone today possible before 1977.
This consciousness change did not occur spontaneously in everyone nor did it occur effortlessly without a protracted struggle but it started with an individual who in a flash, as if awakening or a dawning, caught a glimpse of an incomparably superior consciousness state in which to exist in and thus inspired, he would not be denied anymore but he doggedly strove to retain this wonderful, miraculous state of mind by countering formidable depressive forces that kept trying to repossess his mind until he was quite sure this incomparably exhilarating way to exist was established and irrevocable.
In order to accomplish the consciousness change that occurred in 1977, the person would have to mentally glimpse a previously unknown, well concealed blissful mental state shielded by an intimidating, hard to penetrate depressive shroud and once glimpsed, he must be filled with conviction that cannot be denied to destroy that resisting depressive shroud until he saw clearly and completely exposed that wonderful suffer free state.
It is impossible that an ordinary person can initiate this change because despite tormenting suffering, ordinary people are quite happy to engage each other in a tormenting embrace of mutual deceit, to get along by suffering and making others suffer and die for it. Even today, after changes upon changes, when it is now possible to exit this torment of mutual deceit called acting, people who consider themselves good and intelligent still stubbornly continue to act, they have only modified their acting. Despite repeated demonstrations of what constitutes acting, despite not acting being blissful and acting being torment, ordinary people all persist in acting, what more that they can by themselves maneuver themselves so that they glimpse this previously unknown blissful consciousness state I discovered in 1977 that they must then strive to define, refine and nurture against depressive forces that threaten to reclaim it? Even when not to smile and stretch syllables (forms of acting) is an incomparably saner and blissful way to conduct oneself, those who call themselves good and intelligent still continue to smile and stretch syllables after being told, what more that they should spontaneously awaken that their pretentious smiles and stretched syllables are the root to their mental torment? What more that ordinary people should be capable of spontaneously bringing about the consciousness change in 1977 when they are quite content to keep suffering by acting, by smiling and stretching their syllables?
THE CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE THAT OCCURRED IN 1977 WAS ESSENTIALLY ABOUT ME HAVING HAD ENOUGH OF SUFFERING, OF REFUSING TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO SUFFERING AND NONSENSE FROM OTHERS ANYMORE AND WANTING TO BE TOTALLY TRUE TO MYSELF, NOT PLEASING OTHERS ANYMORE. BECAUSE FALSEHOOD IS SUFFERING AND NONSENSE AND TRUTH IS THE OPPOSITE, THE CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE WAS ESSENTIALLY ABOUT TRULY NOT SHAM UPHOLDING TRUTH AND REPUDIATING FALSEHOOD.
EVEN TODAY ORDINARY PEOPLE APPEAR NOT TO HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF SUFFERING, ARE QUITE WILLING TO SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO SUFFERING AND NONSENSE FROM OTHERS AND ARE NOT INTERESTED IN BEING PARTICULARLY TRUE TO THEMSELVES (EXCEPT IN THEIR DELUSION), WANT TO KEEP PLEASING & IMPRESSING OTHERS. SO HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLE STUMBLE ON AND BRING TO MATURITY THE CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE IN 1977?
ACTING, SMILING AND STRETCHING SYLLABLES ARE CONSTANT NOT OCCASIONAL INDULGENCES BY ALL ORDINARY PEOPLE AND THEY ALWAYS STRESS AND HARM THE PERSON HIMSELF AND OTHERS SERIOUSLY, EVEN TO THE POINT OF DEATH. THAT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE I SEE TODAY CONTINUE TO ACT, CONTINUE TO STRETCH THEIR SYLLABLES AND SMILE, REFLECTS THAT THEY HAVE NO EYE FOR TRUTH, NO EYE FOR THE TRUTH THAT THEIR ACTING, SMILING AND STRETCHING SYLLABLES IS THE INFALLIBLE ROOT TO THEIR SUFFERING, WHAT MORE THAT THEY COULD SPONTANEOUSLY STOP ACTING THEMSELVES, STOP SMILING AND STRETCHING SYLLABLES THEMSELVES, INITIATE THE CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE IN 1977?
The change in 1977 was not static and in recent years there have been further progressive consciousness awakening in everyone including the most evil ones. However, people continue to stubbornly act and therefore suffer. People do notice changes in the appearances, attitudes and behavior of others. When everyone is sitting down and suffering and they then see a few can stand up and seem to suffer less, they too stand up but not knowing exactly what is going on or why it is that they should stand up.
Today’s suffering due to stubborn acting is more direct, immediate and explosive. People continue to act but in more subdued fashion, they do not act as rabidly as they did in the past but they have only collectively turned down the volume of their acting, do not know how or will not switch it off, see little wrong with their behavior nor how it is linked to their stresses.
Faking Sadness:
When people are told in passing that “My father has passed away”, they often politely say (forcefully), “Oh! I am so sorry to hear that!” and proceed to manufacture a brief expression of distress or being subdued.
This is called faking sadness and most if not all perpetrators are convinced they are being meritorious when they are acting and practicing ever so briefly how not just to be sad but to be forcefully sad that they do not realize will seize them later as forceful mad sadness.
When you fake sadness to be polite, you force the other person to go along with or appreciate your faking and similarly momentarily feel sad about the loss of his dad. Hence, apart from habituating yourself to faked sadness, you are also fostering acted sadness in others. You have karma not merit.
Faking sadness is part of a broader spectrum of faking distress or pain. Watch ordinary people and if their faces are not lighted up by smiles to fake happiness, they are fabricating glumness, irritation, befuddlement, sham rage, exasperation or mock fear. What they do not realize is that they are habituating themselves to such negative emotions that have already seized them, only they have not gone mad yet because of self preserving forces. Many actors cringe at the slightest upset, eg they accidentally dropped a pen or closed the door too loudly. They are learning how to act or generate virtually distress or pain in their minds independent of valid stimuli, not realizing that it will serve them right in the future when they are tormented by severe mad imagined or phantom pain or distress.
When you fake anxiety eg expressing anxious concern for customers that you don’t even know, you do experience genuine anxiety but it is not validly caused (eg appearance of a tiger) but it is caused by faking in itself creating stress that leads to (act induced) anxiety that after prolonged practice arises almost instantaneously.
When you fake sadness eg musician trying to move his audience to further his career, you do experience genuine sadness but it is not of an exogenous etiology but the faking itself creates stress that leads to (act induced) sadness and after prolonged practice fake induced sadness arises almost instantaneously to fool the fool he is genuine.
When you fake anger eg to intimidate a child, you do experience anger but it is not of an exogenous etiology but faking itself creates stress that leads to (act induced) anger that with prolonged frequent practice arises almost instantaneously with the faking the fool thinks he is genuinely angry.
Hence by frequent faking of harmful emotions, the actor has unwittingly installed in his mind the software to generate these emotions (anxiety, sadness and anger) that can now be run virtually, independent of exogenous stimuli. Such painful emotions no longer require specific real triggers but can be triggered at will so that when control is lost it can be triggered madly and be difficult if not impossible to stop. Surely you have come across women who can bawl or weep or act terribly distressed on demand very convincingly.
****
Everything that is done or said with force is acted because it can be done and said passively without force. The force is fabricated & put in by the actor to make what is said or done forceful.
The force that actors apply to what they say or do is a tensed or twisted force, not just force or straightforward force. For example he does something with a clenched fist or arm. He speaks with an audibly tensed jerky voice. A non actor does and says things with just sufficient force that is without tension, without twisting. He does something without clenching or tensing his arm or hand. He speaks without tensing his voice.
Actors, even small kids are no longer novices and they have graduated from forcing themselves, putting force into what they say or do to being forced by emotions, urges and impulses to say or do things forcefully.
Apart from causing stress in themselves and their recipients, this force exacts a terrible toll on their minds, acutely as stress, tension, headaches, giddiness, falling into a daze and chronically by slowly but surely deforming and degrading his mind. You may have come across people you have not seen for years and remark how they have changed physically and in behavior. This reflects the molding and degrading of their minds.
If actors are not too blind, they will surely detect the constant force in what they say and do. Sometimes this force is carefully disguised, modulated to become even ‘melodious’ faked or contrived gentleness.
The Knower Of All:
The Buddha was not a vain man and although he claimed to be The Knower Of All, he never tried to impress anybody with his powers and knowledge or back up his claims because as he said what is important is the suffering, knowledge may be ultimately illusory, useless vexations.
Simsapa Sutta: The Simsapa Leaves
The Blessed One once stayed at Kosambi in the Simsapa forest. Picking up a few Simsapa leaves, he asked the monks, "How do you construe this, monks: Which are more numerous, the few Simsapa leaves in my hand or those overhead in the Simsapa forest?"
"The leaves in the hand of the Blessed One are few in number, lord. Those overhead in the forest are far more numerous."
"In the same way, monks, those things that I have known with direct knowledge but have not taught are far more numerous [than what I have taught]. And why haven't I taught them? Because they are not connected with the goal, do not relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and do not lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. That is why I have not taught them. (Ordinary people are never effortlessly calm but they force themselves when conditions are amenable to be relatively calm for brief periods before they are jolted by worldly concerns. Effortless, constant noble calm is the only way out of suffering, not only now but if you do not wish to suffer for an eternity, you should strive to be effortlessly calm always)
"And what have I taught? 'This is stress...This is the origination of stress...This is the cessation of stress...This is the path of practice leading to the cessation of stress': This is what I have taught. And why have I taught these things? Because they are connected with the goal, relate to the rudiments of the holy life, and lead to disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding. This is why I have taught them. (If you are frequently stressed now, you are headed for greater stress in old age and eternal stress thereafter)

Supper Is Ready:
If you were to become the live supper for others (eg a tiger), you may not be so cavalier or find it so funny as to advocate this headline ‘supper is ready’ referring to the plight of massive shoals of sardines off South Africa when they become the target of predators like dolphins and birds.
Many do not believe there are ample future opportunities for them to taste their own medicine, they see nothing wrong with their careless speech that Jesus said you will be judged for, nor can they help themselves to not behave thus because they are proud slaves of their attitudes, see nothing wrong with themselves when there is plenty.
The heading is misleading because supper is a human light night meal before retiring but in this case predators are gouging themselves on sardines in daylight. Supper is not ready but the predators still have work to do to get the sardines packed tightly in defensive formation.
What is said is never an isolated aberration but it always stem from an ingrained attitude of poking fun at things that may be described as the ‘ho, ho, ho’ attitude. Many don’t even recognize they have this ‘ho, ho, ho’ attitude and until this attitude is extinct in you, you will never see the end of woe that may stretch even to an eternity. You can say ‘ho, ho, ho’ to that again but when you are staring at it, you will weep and gnash your teeth.
Whenever sardines are attacked, they pack themselves so tightly so that those inside will be inaccessible and safe, hence fish can cooperate for the common good (better than conceited men who think they are made of loftier and brainier stuff) in order that more may survive because a tightly packed mass offers fewer individuals exposed to predators than if they were all spread out. In the same vein, Antarctic penguins spend the entire dark bitterly cold winter standing packed en mass with a slow rotation of individuals so that each get a fair share of exposure to howling winds and the warmth in the middle.
What A Good Idea:
Whenever you say “what a good idea” instead of ‘it is a good idea’ it is always exaggerating implying that it is such a good idea when it is only a good idea, no matter how good it is. Do you mean it is such a good idea you do not have to die or suffer anymore? It is only because you cannot let your yes be yes only but must always fake extremes that you exclaim “what a good idea!” By the same token, it will be ‘what a hell for you’ instead of being merely hell.
Not only is it an exaggeration if not entirely faked, the manner it will be said will always be acted too, thus, “wWHAatt aa gGOODd iIDdeeaa!!” (ho, ho, ho), namely explosively with stretched syllables and unnecessary chuckle thrown in.
The amount of exaggeration and faking ordinary people detect in themselves may be just the tip of the iceberg because for one who discerns, everything and how an actor says, does, perceives and think is exaggerated or faked. They are so used to exaggerating and faking they do not realize they do so anymore. How many people acknowledge they are faking, not exaggerating when they smile and stretch their syllables? How often do you smile and stretch your syllables? Most people see nothing wrong but instead think they are good, not realizing they have a noose dangling over their heads. As Jesus said, seeing they do not see (that they are exaggerating and faking), hearing the do hear.
Why Natalie Wood’s Problems Are Due To Acting:
Natalie Wood was said to suffer from bouts of uncontrollable panic and depression (apart from drug & alcohol abuse and being suicidal).
This contradicts the confident and happy image that she and all those beautiful, rich and famous people project publicly suggesting that their public appearance and behavior are fabricated or faked to impress others and their concealed, private panic prone and depressed condition may be closer to the truth.
If she did not fake to present a falsely desirable public image and hid a more truthful less flattering insecure private image, then her uncontrollable panic and depression should manifest in equal frequency in public and in private, instead of occurring entirely in private and shamefully suppressed.
I doubt if despite her torment, she ever made a fool of herself publicly by displaying her panic and depression but instead she probably somehow managed to retain sufficient control to restrict her suffering to private expression or she curtailed her public appearances (an act of deceit that may further shake her public confidence). Only when actors become mad are they forced to display their dirty linen in public. The more ashamed you are, the more will the shame force you to act, the more you suffer panic and depression until you become totally mad or suicidal.
In order to be a successful actress, one has to cross one’s own Rubicon and burn the bridge with truth with the fire of hate that will not be denied. Hence most actresses would rather die in torment than return to truth that they have forsaken. They have burnt their bridge to truth and happiness with tremendous force that may already have permanently warped their minds and now retains them in bondage like an octopus, will not let them go without a strenuous struggle.
Panic Attacks:
Panic attacks are far from unusual but they actually afflict all actors except that they may be of briefer duration and milder intensity that can be shamefully suppressed from view. Many do not even realize they experience panic attacks that like fires, they can quickly extinguish (for the moment).
All actors have irrational fears, startle easily (a brief panic attack) because they are uptight or tense and will have experienced extended bouts of restlessness that they cannot control that seem to come out of the blue.
Panic attacks are episodes of sudden, irrational, uncontrolled, forceful even violent activity (in speech or deed) or restlessness that harms self (going against self and therefore acted) and others around (may upset them).
It is IMPOSSIBLE for someone who does not act to experience panic attacks. It is MANDATORY for anyone who acts to experience panic attacks.
Panic attacks may be nothing mysterious or inexplicable, is not blamelessly genetic or demonic but they are inextricably, invariably linked to acting.
Acting is constant controlled forceful going against oneself to fabricate and then execute faked or exaggerated speech or deed.
Panic attacks are episodes of uncontrolled (mad) forceful, even violent going against oneself in speech or deed that are faked or exaggerated (if what is said or done in a panic attack is true or good, it would not be called panic or distress the sufferer)
Because a person who does not act is always passive, never tampers with what he says or does to exaggerate or fake in the name of deceiving others, he does not apply controlled force to go against himself, there is no control for him to lose, there is no controlled forceful going against himself to lose control resulting in bouts of panic.
Anything (in speech or deed) that is forcefully executed in a controlled fashion (because it goes against oneself it has to be controlled so as not to seriously harm oneself) is subject to loss of control leading to uninhibited mad execution. Anything (speech or deed) that is passively executed (true, good to self & other non acting) without force needs no control (because it is not forceful and not going self and never harms oneself) has no control to be lost, is NEVER subject to loss of control leading to uninhibited mad execution.
If you constantly, emotionally present in speech, behavior and appearance an elaborate unrealistic desirable image of yourself that contrasts with a less flattering and even nasty private image that you strive to hide from view, then there must be constant anxiety to maintain this charade and any real or perceived threatened unraveling of your deceitfulness will create panic. If you never presented any desirable image, you have nothing to hide, there is nothing shameful to be exposed and nothing to panic about.
Acting in speech and deed always creates anxiety because it is false and stressfully, harmfully fabricated. The more intense or outrageous and sustained the acting, the more intense and sustained the anxiety. If you are a celebrity like Natalie Wood, the acting is more demanding, more incessant and because her acting is performed in the public eye, it arouses greater anxiety than normal no matter how tough or impervious you act (it always an act creating more stress of denial, never genuine imperviousness that can only occur passively, not act-ively in Buddhas) and because all actors are proud, they must try to hide their anxiety from view which itself creates more stress thence anxiety, amplifying the original stress in cycles of positive feedback. Further, actors do not realize that anxiety, in common with other emotions (anger, fear, sadness, hate, jealousy, pride) never remains the same and always manageable but with frequent practice over time, anxiety becomes very easy to arouse, rises rapidly beyond control, becomes more intense and more prolonged and difficult to exit. Like alcoholics whose drinking can become uncontrollable, actors’ anxiety can in time become too intense, too easily provoked to become uncontrollable panic attacks.
Natalie Wood may be particularly vulnerable to panic attacks because of her notorious predilection to fake loss of control as suggested by her fame “nobody can lose control on screen as well like Natalie”. Initially you force yourself to act loss of control but increasingly you are forced by strong emotion to act loss of control until there is explosive impulse that cannot be stopped to madly act loss of control.
Acting is itself constantly walking a tightrope of controlled going against oneself and if you perversely have a fascination to act going out of control or breaking down, it is like a death wish, asking for truly, madly going out of control.
I KNOW PANIC ATTACKS ARE CAUSED BY ACTING BECAUSE PREVIOUSLY WHEN I WAS ACTING, I EXPERIENCED MILD BOUTS OF PANIC OR BEING HARRASSED THAT LIKE ALL ACTORS, I TRIED TO HIDE FROM VIEW AND NOW THAT I KNOW ACTING IN ITS ENTIRETY AND PUT A STOP TO ACTING, SUCH BOUTS OF PANIC, RESTLESSNESS AND BEING HARRASSED HAVE CEASED. HENCE PANIC ATTACKS ARE ROOTED IN CONSTANT FORCEFULLY GOING AGAINST SELF THAT RUNS OUT OF CONTROL, IF YOU NEVER WENT AGAINST YOURSELF IN SPEECH OR DEED, YOU WILL NEVER PANIC. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE I SEE ARE ACTING ALL THE TIME, HENCE THEY ARE SUBJECT TO PANIC ATTACKS. IF THEY STOPPED ACTING (KARMA OR THEIR DISCERNMENT PERMITTING), THEY CAN EXPERIENCE FOR THEMSELVES THAT ACTING IS INDEED THE SOURCE OF ALL PANIC ATTACKS.
Depression:
Stress can kill and physically harm a person. Because acting is forcefully going against oneself to put on a show in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing others, it creates stress and conflict leading to tension that is insoluble because the actor keeps acting. Insoluble stress and tension in time leads to despair, sadness and thence depression. This is the bouts of depression Natalie Wood experiences in common with anybody who will act.
NATALIE WOOD’S GRAVE SUFFERING AND FATE IS AN INDICATION OF THE TERRIBLE FATE AWAITING ALL ACTORS. FOR ONE WHO SEES, ACING IS ALWAYS FALSE, SINFUL, WARPS THE MIND AND STRESSES ONESELF AND OTHERS SEVERELY EVEN TO DEATH. IF PEOPLE WHO ACT CANNOT SEE THEY ACT (EG SMILE, STRETCH THEIR SYLLABLES), THEY ARE HEADED FOR A RECKONING WITH PAIN THAT MAY BE MORE TORMENTING & EVERLASTING THAN THEIR WILDEST DREAMS.
Suicide:
Suicide is never passive but always acted; a forceful, even violent ultimate act of forcefully going against oneself driven by emotional self hate.
All actors must harbor serious self hate because they are force themselves to do or say things that go against themselves to create stress and conflict in the name of deceiving (pleasing, impressing, intimidating) others that is insoluble because they keep acting. When this hatred becomes unbearable, they attempt to violently end it all, not realizing they will still have to pay after death.
What Was Faked On Film Came True:
Natalie Wood’s suicide or death mirrored the suicide by drowning she acted in the film ‘A Splendor In The Grass’. Whether that film act haunted her is open to question. There may be no harmless faking. If you fake with intense realism killing someone in a film, that volition may haunt you forever.
She played opposite Warren Beatty (with whom she allegedly had an affair) in that tragic melodrama about high school lovers across the class divide in the 1920s forced apart by the boy’s abrasive wealthy father who had grandiose plans for his son’s future and schemed to separate them by sending him to Yale.
When he started ignoring her and dating another girl, her world fell apart (abetted by wicked peer gossip and their barely concealed delight at her misfortune) and she couldn’t face classmates. In a scene at home lying in a bathtub depressed, her mother came in and asked her with nice, anxious concern if she had been spoilt whereupon she broke down, turned around to immerse herself completely in water as if to drown herself and then ran out screaming hysterically that she wasn’t ‘spoilt’.
Finally, in a desperate attempt to win him back, she confronted him at a party and offered herself to him unconditionally in a car and when he refused, she was shattered to be driven off in a daze by a prowling opportunistic classmate who tried to take advantage of her in a secluded spot.
She tore herself away at the last moment and inconsolably depressed, she tried to commit suicide by swimming out in a pool towards a waterfall but was rescued at the last moment.
She was then committed to a mental asylum far away for some years whilst the boy left for Yale where he was a failure but met another girl whom he married. It seemed many people jumped off buildings after the stock market crash of 1929 and the boy’s father, an arrogant, abrasive wealthy oilman lost everything and jumped off a building in NY.
When she finally returned, she still could not forget him and accompanied by friends, she drove all the way to his farm only to be shattered again when she found out he was married with a toddler. She maintained her composure amidst visible strain; smiled and even tried to be friendly with the child (an acted lie to hide the hurt inside) and both parties kept up the pretense of inviting each other to meet again.
Whether on film or in life, even if it had been a ‘happy ending’, they married each other it would not be happy or wonderful marriage but there will be strife and depression. Anyone who has to live with either of them must experience serious even impossible difficulties, conflict and even violence. Even she herself found it impossible to coexist with herself, what more others. Why would she end her own life voluntarily if she did not hate herself, she could not live with herself anymore?
All Actors Struggle to conserve themselves:
It is impossible for anyone to act flat out all the time and ordinary people cannot and do not do that. Acting is a constant battle, abetted by evil others (who always try to instigate each other to be excited, to get carried away or lose control) to push oneself to the limit and then hold back or retreat before disaster befalls.
If you observe people, they are not actively acting by speech or deed all the time but they are subdued a lot of the time and only rev up their acting engines when the occasion demands. For instance they might burst into laughter and talk animatedly but as soon as the stress becomes too much, they sober up and talk in more subdued tones until the stress has abated somewhat. Many less consummate actors choose professions where they are anonymous eg clerks and accountants where they can quietly act with their paper work instead of the more stressful social banter required of stars and public figures.
If people never constantly strive to conserve themselves, to stick out their necks but make sure they retract their necks before the chopper fell, they would have roasted themselves, gone mad long ago. Hence acting is no fun but torment and walking the tight rope no matter how consummate an actor you are.
A Crumpled Piece Of A Paper:
The mind can be compared to a piece of paper.
Whenever you smile (or stretch syllables or speak explosively), you crumple up the piece of paper, harming it and making what is written on it hard to read; you stir up your mind making it more difficult to concentrate or think lucidly. Later, you have to work to smooth the creases in order to return to a semblance of normality; you have to work to calm down your mind so that you can concentrate on your work.
If you do not smile, the piece of paper remains un-crumpled and what is written on it is always easily read and you do not have to stress yourself later to restore it to the non-crumpled state; your mind remains lucid and you do not have to struggle to regain calm.
It is possible to interact with others without crumpling the paper; it is possible to interact with others without smiling or stretching syllables but it is seldom if ever so. If you constantly smile and stretch your syllables, you constantly subject the piece of paper to crumpling and un-crumpling and in time the paper will be worn out, crumble and you will suffer brain failure.
WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHETHER YOU REALIZE YOU ACT OR NOT, ANYONE WHO SMILES (HOWEVER SLIGHT), STRETCHES HIS SYLLABLES, SAYS OR DOES THINGS FORCEFULLY IS CRUMPLING HIS MIND LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER AS A RESULT OF WHICH IT IS DIFFICULT TO READ WHAT IS WRITTEN ON THE PIECE OF PAPER, THE MIND IS SCATTERED AND CANNOT THINK STRAIGHT AND AFTERWARDS HE HAS TO STRUGGLE (WITH FURTHER STRESS) TO STRAIGHTEN OUT THE MANY CREASES, AFTER A LIFETIME CRUMPLING THE PIECE OF PAPER, IT BECOMES PERMANENTLY CRUMPLED, PERMANENTLY WARPED AND WILL CRUMBLE TO PIECES.
IF THE PRISTINE (UNCRUMPLED) STATE OF THE PAPER IS THE ONLY STATE OF TRUE BLISS AND TRUE REST AND THE CRUMPLED STATE IS STRESS, SUFFERING, TORMENT THEN WHOEVER KEEPS CRUMPLING HIS PIECE OF PAPER MUST SUFFER AND THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO STOP CRUMPLING THE PAPER, STOP SMILING, STRETCHING SYLLABLES AND ACTING. IF YOU CANNOT OR WILL NOT, YOU HAVE A NOOSE HANGING OVER YOU. YOUR PIECE OF PAPER WILL BECOME PERMANENTLY CRUMPLED AND IF YOU KEEP ON CRUMPLING IT, THIS PIECE OF PAPER WILL IN TIME CRUMBLE TO PIECES.
Restlessness:
Restlessness is a forceful state of the mind and body characterized by an inability to stay still for no reason (mad). It is actually the constant companion of actors because acting is constant and forcefully going against oneself to create restlessness all the time that must be suppressed from public view.
Just as people hide their shame, they hide their restlessness; they can use force to dampen their restlessness to fool fellow actors. But to one who discerns, he can see the actor’s public calm is enforced.
Because actors keep abusing themselves by acting, this restlessness always increases with old age, becoming easier to arouse, deeper and slower to fade. If you watch the elderly, many are restless or jittery. Ultimately the restlessness in actors will become mad, go out of control.
The non actor does not have to force himself not to be restless because he does not speak or do things with force to go against himself to create stress. Because whatever he says or does flows passively from the heart, there is no force to control, he does not have to force himself not to be restless, does not have to forcefully hide his restlessness, there is no control to be lost.
RESTLESSNESS ITSELF CREATES MORE RESTLESSNESS. FOR INSTANCE YOU SHAKE YOUR LEG AS A RESULT OF RESTLESSNESS AND THE SHAKING LEG ITSELF CREATES MORE RESTLESSNESS. DRIVEN BY RESTLESSNESS YOU SMOKE BUT AS A RESULT OF SMOKING, YOU BECOME MORE RESTLESS. RESTLESSNESS CAUSES PEOPLE TO LASH OUT TO SHAKE OFF THEIR RESTLESSNESS BUT IT ONLY CREATES MORE RESTLESSNESS. WHEN THE RESTLESSNESS THEREBY BECOMES INTENSE, THE ACTOR HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO CONTINUE ACTING BECAUSE RESTLESSNESS IS INIMICAL TO NOT ACTING. YOU CAN ONLY NOT ACT IF YOUR MIND AND BODY IS NOT TENSED OR RESTLESS. IT IS DIFFICULT TO EXIT THIS VICIOUS CYCLE AND IT SUITS THE DEVIL AND FELLOW DEFILERS FINE IF OTHERS ARE SIMILARLY TRAPPED AND SUFFERING BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAPPED TOO.
THE ONLY WAY TO GET OUT OF THIS TRAP IS TO ATTACK RESTLESSNESS AND ATTACK THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF RESTLESSNESS, NAMELY ACTING. BY STOPPING ACTING, STOPPING SMILING, STRETCHING SYLLABLES AND FORCEFUL SPEECH, ONE TURNS OFF THE SOURCE OF RENEWING RESTLESSNESS. BY MEDITATING TO CALM RESTLESSNESS PRESENT, ONE PERMITS NON ACTING TO ARISE. BUT FEW ARE DEDICATED TO PRACTICE FREQUENT MEDITATION AND PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR BEHAVIOR TO STOP ACTING.