Joyous & Joyless Aggression:

Joyous & Joyless Aggression:
The joyous consciousness state that I experienced in 1977 was essentially because of my newfound aggressiveness. When I was quite sure I had changed irrevocably to become assured & fearless, I was not kidding myself I had changed, I knew with quiet assurance it was an unimaginable breakthrough, a consciousness state that nobody before could have experienced, like a form of enlightenment or awakening of the consciousness or blissful permanent, not a temporary release from suffering like from drug or alcohol.

Although I had qualms about being aggressive, about my newfound aggressiveness, I asked myself why is it that even though there are so many aggressive people throughout the ages and now; how come they never stumbled on this joyful quantum consciousness leap? How is it that when I became aggressive, it was as if a door opened in my mind but other aggressive people never experienced the same breakthrough state when they are habitually aggressive? Surely, in all the incidents of aggressions, there must be one instance where they must have tasted this unheard joy and pursuing it, break through mental barriers to discover this state of the mind I discovered? I could not explain why then.

Now I understand why. Although aggression is ultimately stressful and harmful to both self and others, my newfound aggression was directed against the force of going against myself to act weak and dependant. It was directed at being forcefully myself, being true to myself and others and being truly good instead of acting good. This was the reason it was joyous because it was breaking the shackles of falsehood, inhibition, pretense and manipulation of others.

When ordinary people throughout the ages and even today were aggressive, they were lashing out at others, manipulating and harming others and themselves, reinforcing their force of going against themselves in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, intimidating and dominating others which was why they never experienced a joyous release of their consciousness but instead every time they expressed aggression, either physically through speech or deed or mentally, their aggression only strengthened their bonds to suffering that again drove them to lash out hatefully. The more they suffered, the more they lashed out negatively until the way out of their agony is no longer visible.

AGAIN, THAT AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE AGES NEVER ACHIEVED THIS REVOLUNTIONARY JOYOUS PERMANENT BREAKTHROUGH AND TRANSFORMATION OF THEIR CONSCIOUSNESS DESPITE BEING HABITUALLY AGGRESSIVE WHILST I ACHIEVED THIS BREAKTHROUGH THE MOMENT I BECAME AGGRESSIVE SUGGESTS THERE MAY BE SOMETHING UNIQUE IN MY PSYCHE THAT PERMITTED THAT AND THERE MAY BE A FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE IN MY AGGRESSION AS COMPARED TO ALL OTHERS.

The reason I felt joy and changed permanently was because my newfound aggression was directed at countering my internal force of going against myself in me. When I was forceful or aggressive, it was not blind, lashing out force but directed force to forcefully be true according to how I know how to be true (perhaps there is no truth in others, only pretense or acted truth), force directed at being true to myself and others and unknown to me then, I was wearing down the internal force of going against myself until it disappeared and because there was no longer any negative force to oppose, I became effortlessly serene, without restlessness either at rest or in whatever I said or did.

When you are incarcerated by strong forces to go against yourself to act weak, fearful to appease others, you have to use force or aggressiveness to overcome them and because these forces are finite, once exhausted, no force is required not to go against oneself thereby I experienced an effortless calm.

AGGRESIVENESS IS NEVER JUSTIFIED AND IS ONLY AN UNAVOIDABLE EXPEDIENT THAT IS ACCOMPANIED BY JOY IN THE VIRTUOUS AS HE GRAVITATES FROM HIS STRESSFUL EXISTING STATE OF NOT LETTING HIS YES BE YES ONLY (EG STRETCHING SYLLABLES) TO EFFORTLESS FUTURE LETTING HIS YES BE YES ONLY (EG NOT STRETCHING SYLLABLES). AS SOON AS HE ATTAINS THIS NEW SINLESS STATE, NO AGGRESSION IS FURTHER REQUIRED AND HE IS EFFORTLESSLY NOT AGGRESSIVE ANYMORE. HYPOCRITES MAY PREACH TOTAL NON VIOLENCE BUT BECAUSE THEY REMAIN ACTORS, THERE MUST BE REPRESSED AGGRESSION THAT THEY STRUGGLE TO HIDE BUT MUST BE EXPRESSED SOMEHOW INDIRECTLY.

This Would Not Be Possible:
Whilst others may obfuscate or deny or rubbish that there was any significant consciousness change after 1977 or in recent years either because they are deluded, grossly unperceiving or pretentious (lying), there are irrefutable PERMANENT consciousness changes I detect in myself after 1977 and in recent years again.

(If there was a significant change and you deny, rubbish or cannot perceive it, then you are destined in your blindness to return here to suffer again; not necessarily as humans)

If I had not changed after 1977, I would not be writing this, nor will the thoughts I now convey occur in my mind because it was preoccupied by neurotic mundane thoughts. I would instead be still wracked today by insufferable stress, restlessness, conflict, insecurity and silly insoluble irrational worries about coping with meeting people.

In those days I was always tense, always or easily becoming nervous and just the anticipation of meeting others would cause great nervousness that I struggled to contain and not expose in the presence of others and haunted me afterwards. I had a debilitating phobia of greeting people (introducing myself and shaking hands and uttering niceties or formalities) and saying farewells eg saying goodbye to the host and his family after a social dinner. I would twitch and tremble almost uncontrollably on such occasions especially if I was detained by the host in prolonged goodbye chitchat and wondered why I could not be like so many others who seem so confident and not to be troubled by social banter or meeting others.

Nowadays, it is IMPOSSIBLE that I would not be able to stand my own ground in the presence of anyone because I am effortlessly being myself, would not force myself to go against myself to kowtow to smile and say silly nonsense to please others.

Although I believed so then, it was not that there was something wrong with me, I was a social misfit or schizophrenic that I found such apparently simple tasks like meeting others and social banter so nerve wracking but it is because such activities are always intrinsically seriously stressful, even mind bending to ANYONE who indulges but most others are tough enough to fake as if they enjoy what is in truth not harmless, enjoyable small talk but grave stress and sin.

The Buddha said idle chatter and telling lies lead to hell or the animal womb. The reason why I was so nervous then in those situations may be because somehow inside, I knew idle chatter is not harmless but sends one even to hell. I was only consciously forcing myself to be nice to others whereas others have graduated to automatically forced by urges to be nice, an act that will consign them to perdition they do not realize or refuse to believe. I was hesitantly, consciously forcing myself to be nice to others creating tension and nervousness that I became painfully aware and as time progressed, it increasingly undermined my social confidence. Others, even those who call themselves good had no such qualms about uttering niceties they don’t mean or forcefully believe they do mean it, just to get on in life.

Nowadays I do not fear meeting others, those situations involving greeting and bidding goodbye do not make me nervous because I am true to myself, there is no force in me to put on a show for others and when there is no show, there is no nervousness, no show that can break down. When there are no smiles, there are no smiles to break down into twitches.

BEFORE 1977 I FELT LIKE THE MAN ON DEATH ROW WAITING IN GREAT ANXIETY FOR THE HANGMAN TO COME. AFTER 1977, IT WAS LIKE I WAS NOT ONLY MIRACULOUSLY REPRIEVED BUT TRANSPORTED TO A GARDEN OF JOY I NEVER DREAMT POSSIBLE.

How many ordinary people can bring themselves to admit, let alone speak about their inadequacies and insecurities? There may be serious emotional blocks and denial that do not permit them to speak thus and they are kidding themselves if they think they are as devoted to truth as I am. What they do not realize is that this pretense may detain them in this world in the Age to come.

Addendum: Why The Change Benefited Everyone:
Because the consciousness change benefited me, it must also benefit all those who changed in some way and the fact that everyone changed swiftly (though they still acted) reflects the indisputable or undeniable advantage it conferred, otherwise why change and why change so hastily?

Even if ordinary people have never and may never exit acting, they all benefited as a result of the change in 1977 and in recent years by experiencing a reduction the intensity of their acting and a measure of sobriety. It is IMPOSSIBLE that ordinary people could attain the same release of their awareness through goodwill that I experience today because they never abandoned acting but they will ALL have experienced some amelioration from previous levels of stress.

If everyone was happy before the 1977 change, how come everyone turned nasty, were seized to snarl just on sight of me who was not provocative but quietly being my effortlessly calm, changed self in 1978? The fact that everyone, including those who acted as if they were happy and well adjusted, those who professed to be good, children and pretty girls all scowled and turned nasty indicate they were ALL (not some) not happy, only FAKING it to deceive others and when they saw a truly effortlessly happy man, they were all convulsed to tear at their own mental shackles they were previously unaware.

It is because they were in truth not happy but instead they were all faking so, acting under great tension and mental warp-ness created by their acting that the mere sight of me being effortlessly serene, worry free and quietly not putting on a show unlike them seized them with irrepressible jealousy and violence to similarly thrash the invisible mental constraints in their minds aimed at similarly liberating themselves.
I observed that despite scowling murderously, they immediately afterwards burst into delighted animated laughter and uninhibited greetings of fellow goats suggests they felt better after involuntarily displaying their scowling aggression. This indicates that this display of aggression by others on seeing me had a fundamental difference from the umpteen times they were aggressive in the past: it brought TRUE joy in their being. I saw that people were going about with ‘greater sense of purpose’, greater spontaneity after turning nasty.
This is the reason why I knew everyone was changing because in my serene unobtrusive presence, even petite girls would suddenly get uncharacteristically aggressive, their faces darkened with anger but they then suddenly burst into joyful greeting or exuberance that must indicate that the aggressiveness they displayed was attacking something in their minds that created happiness, as if a liberation of their consciousness.

HENCE I COULD REPEATEDLY SEE IN 1978 THAT DESPITE THE NASTY LOOKS OF PEOPLE EVERYWHERE AS IF THEY MIGHT ASSAULT ME FOR NO REASON, THEY AFTERWARDS BECAME EXUBERANT, UNINHIBITED AS IF A WONDERFUL CHANGE HAD COME UPON THEM INDICATED TO ME WITHOUT A DOUBT I WAS TRIGGERING A CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE IN PEOPLE THAT BENEFITED THEM.

Therefore, the reasons why the consciousness change in 1977 benefited everyone are:
1) People do not change themselves unless change benefits them and because everyone changed swiftly by knock on effect, the incentive or benefit for change must be irresistible, like a person forced to live in a putrid lavatory given a glimpse of a world outside without foul smells previously unknown to them.
2) I experience a wonderful release from suffering as a result of the change and even though people have not exited acting like I did, they will still have experienced an appreciably amelioration of their previous suffering by turning down the volume and pace of their acting.
3) The uniformly hate filled agitated reactions I got everywhere, even by people who were supposedly good or happy when they saw me in my serene state suggests that they were held in suffering, not happy and the sight of me stirred uncontrollable violence. Nowadays I am passive, not violent. Anyone with violence in them that can be stirred cannot be truly happy but faking so. Hence the change benefited everyone.
4) There are many anecdotal stories that the rich and famous were in truth tormented to the point of suicide and subsequent to 1977 I could see through the ways people behaved prior to 1977 to see that they were all suffering, no one was genuinely happy but they were all putting on brave faces.

Why & How People Are More Explosive Today:
People nowadays are more subdued, less indiscriminately expressing themselves (eg smiles and grimaces) all the time as they were a few years ago, but nowadays people are more direct, more easily provoked and when provoked they may blow up to the point of homicide.

This is a reflection of further consciousness changes recently affecting everyone that enabled them, though still stubbornly acting, to experience less stress.

People everywhere today appear more subdued, they do not smile rabidly or talk or do things so stressfully demonstrative all the time like they did in the past, and they are more DIRECT.
It is hard to put in words, exactly what the change is but it may essentially be that people are more mindful, more circumspect, less constantly restlessly, somnolently acting, shrouded in stress that kept them ‘drugged’ but though more sober, their speech and actions are nowadays more explosive, impulsive or stabbing. Listen to people talk, even those who are supposed to be quite good and there is detectable explosiveness in their speech. Explosiveness is the unnecessary, stressful rapid acceleration and then deceleration of loudness and speed of speech that makes it harsh. In the past, people’s speech was monotonously, grindingly, INDIRECTLY harsh but today people’s speech are explosively or stabbingly of DIRECTLY harsh. This is also manifest in how people do things. If you can recollect the thunderous room shaking soundtrack that accompanies movies and TV shows, it is not so much the equipment that causes its explosiveness but the deliberately explosive, sudden changes in loudness and speed of sounds that cause it to stress the listener.

The reason why people are more explosive today may be because they now experience a lower usual level of stress but their anger or violence is still inside because they can never be good, like there is a volcano in them but it is now spewing out less, but when provoked beyond their threshold of tolerance, this volcano will explode more violently to vent unrestrained completely the considerable anger hidden inside them.

Another reason may be in the past, experiencing higher constant levels of baseline stress, they are more usually exhausted, suffering enough in their own private worlds to be explosive. It is like a man with a sack of bricks on his back, enough self troubles to look for fights unnecessarily with others. Now, it is as if they have been freed from their loads, they have more room to express their pent up violence, they are less enervated or exhausted by their previously high baseline stress to be subdued not to attack their tormentors.

With the recent changes in their consciousness, people may see clearly others are provoking them and are less likely to blame themselves wrongly for provocations that issue from others and feeling aggrieved they therefore retaliate violently.

For instance, recently a motorist who was at fault ran over a female motorist who was making a call summoning relatives. In the past, he may have been restrained by inhibitions and stress, he may not perceive her behavior as provocative but nowadays, he can see she is trying to intimidate him by making a phone call in his full view and so enraged, he may have initially have intended to drive off in a manner as if to knock her down but during the act, his rage so consumed him he ran her over instead of just missing her.
EVERYONE HAS CHANGED TODAY AS COMPARED TO A FEW YEARS AGO AND THE FOOL MAY THINK HE IS HEADING FOR HEAVEN. SO LONG AS ONE CONTINUES TO ACT (SMILE, STRETCH SYLLABLES), SO LONG WILL ONE HARBOR VIOLENCE THAT CAN ONLY BE CONTROLLED. IF IT IS SO SIMPLE TO STOP ACTING, HOW COME A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T EVEN REALIZE THEY STRETCH THEIR SYLLABLES ALL THE TIME, LET ALON STOPPING IT. ANYONE WHO ACTS HARBORS VIOLENCE AND NO MATTER HOW HE STRIVES TO CONTROL IT, IT IS LIKE A VIPER INSIDE THAT WILL ONE DAY FATALLY BITE HIMSELF OR OTHERS, HE MAY BE A FOOL TO THINK HE IS GOING TO HEAVEN BUT HE MAY BE GOING TO ETERNAL PUNISHMENT.
Why I Am Also The Trigger Of Recent Changes:
There have been further, unmistakable consciousness changes in EVERYONE over the past few years even though they still act. It did not strike me immediately but I arrived at this conclusion gradually long after everyone again began when it became increasingly obvious to me that in tandem with permanent positive changes I felt in me, people’s appearances and behavior everywhere too were also changing positively.

Again, I may be or am the trigger behind this. Why is that?

Firstly, there have been further unmistakable changes in myself over the past years (about 1997 onwards) as a result of my improving perception of how the considerable stress I experienced daily is related to my own & others’ behavior impacting on me and how these behaviors were not natural but exaggerated and faked. I began to see that people were acting, not being themselves, they were nice, not good and how niceness was sugar laced poison. I gradually refined and defined for myself and those who received my E Mails what acting is and how people acted until finally I could see that not just some people were acting but everyone was acting, not for some of the time but all the time and how acting was ALWAYS driven by emotions and stress to forcefully go against oneself to exaggerate and fake whatever and how one says, does, thinks and perceives in manner that has to be forcefully controlled (in order not to kill oneself immediately) creating insoluble stress, restlessness, violent urges and depression in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, intimidating and dominating others. As a result of my insights which I mindfully and persistently put into clearly comprehending practice I gradually stopped acting to experience a drastic reduction in intrinsic stress, restlessness, doubt and uncertainty, mad and violent impulses and depression. These changes in me is visible to those who interact with me and must have rubbed off partially on them and it also must have influenced those who read my innumerable E Mails.

It did not occur to me immediately but it gradually dawned on me with increasing certainty after repeated verifications that visible by their appearances and behavior, everyone (not just some) was again changing just as they did after 1977, not just locally but globally, even though they still continue to act. (I berated my brother for acting but gradually I could see that though he was still acting, there were perceptibly changes in his appearance and behavior)

Those who have read what I wrote over the years may acknowledge that they have changed as a result of reading what I wrote. In that case, I am DIRECTLY responsible for causing their change. The changes that are evident to themselves will also be reflected in their appearances and how they comport themselves to those who interact with them and therefore influence them indirectly.

Hence, even though the vast majority of people have not seen me, have not read what I have said, by contagion effect as after 1977, they have all been transformed permanently to become more subdued, more direct today, even though they still act and may have no clue why they are changing because they are changing because everyone around has changed in a way that would be clearly advantageous to them, so they too changed themselves hastily.

Hence, today as in 1977 I was the trigger of changes that have spread around the world because I changed myself unmistakably first, I then influenced others by what I wrote about acting and many other things and by knock on or contagion effect of people changed by me changing others.

Jesus: "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

There may be those who accuse me of conceit and self exaltation dwelling on such matters but if it is said matter of fact without emotion or pride and true, it is not boasting but because the reader is himself a show off, he projects his tendencies on me. If what I have done is like a lamp that illuminates the darkness for others, surely I do not hide the lamp under a bushel but I put it on a stand where all may see and benefit.

Jesus: "Think not that I have come to abolish the law and the prophets; I have come not to abolish them but to fulfill them (as proof that the law & the prophets are correct). For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the law (dharma according to the Buddha) until all is accomplished (so long as there is existence, heaven and earth, the law shall prevail in its entirety without compromise). Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees (the present day scribes is by & large the church establishment, hence do not accept what scribes say uncritically, you’ve heard of abuses by priests and see that church services are inflexible, ritualistic & encourages others to be ritualistic, a lower fetter to states of woe, the Buddha said. Do not be in awe of what priests tell you but rather examine and decide for yourself what is good), you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

"You have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire (The Buddha said anger and harsh speech leads to hell or the animal womb). So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25* Make friends quickly with your accuser, while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison; 26 truly, I say to you, you will never get out till you have paid the last penny.

Dazes, Forceful & Effortless Concentration:

Dazes are always acted states of the mind and like acting, can be initially consciously intended eg to impress fans above progressing to involuntarily intended to finally, the fool does not realize become madly unintended.
When he first started, he probably learned to puff himself up after scoring a goal in an act intended to incite fans to get carried away to celebrate and emotionally worship him. Because such emotional celebration creates stress and restlessness in fans, he is creating karma for himself. He is now probably no longer forcing himself to but forced by strong habit and emotion to repeat his antics every time he scores.

The emotions of the occasion and forcing may be quite intense such that he is lapsing into an intense daze that he must and can still extricate himself to return to reality and rejoin the match. What he does not realize is that by frequently repeating this after he scores goals, he is making it easier for him to lapse into dazes that will become more intense, prolonged and difficult to pull himself out. When he is old or hit by a crisis (loss of all his money) he may fall into a daze he will never recover like patients in mental hospitals who can stand still and stare for hours.

Many people intentionally put themselves into (forceful) dazes for selfish purposes not realizing that dazes are addictive and will become more intense, frequent and harder to exit. When they get old they may lapse into frequent prolonged dazes or when there is an overwhelming emotional event, eg bereavement, they may lapse into a daze that will be hard for them to pull themselves out. You probably have seen actors who are stunned at the death of their loved ones. Such states are never pleasurable but painful and due to foolish cultivation by deceitful people.

As the Buddha said, the ordinary person has suffering as vast as an ocean due to him. They are constantly creating by their actions tormenting mental states that will haunt them in the future.

IF YOU ARE ACTOR, YOU WILL CATCH YOURSELF FALLING INTO PRIVATE DAZES ENTERTAINING FANTASIES AND IF YOU ARE WISE, YOU WILL STOP YOUR INDULGENCE AND QUICKLY EXTRICATE YOURSELF TO RETURN TO REALITY BECAUSE SUCH DAZES ARE REINFORCING AND WILL SEIZE YOU MOURNFULLY LATER WHEN IN OLD AGE OR STRICKEN BY A SITUATION CRISIS EG YOUR SON IS KILLED, YOU WILL BE SEIZED BY GRIEF YOU CANNOT EXIT.

If you were to smile and keep smiling or laugh & keep laughing, you may notice yourself lapsing into an unseeing or groggy daze. Many people get so absorbed (in a daze) watching a movie or sports program they lose touch with reality, what someone is saying to them. Nick Faldo, former world golf number one so annoyed his now divorced wife by lapsing into dazes in their sitting room, she said she had to throw a shoe at him to get his attention.

Many actors not only fall into a daze, they have become good at falling into a daze at will and they prolong their dazes not realizing that they are setting a trap for themselves that they may never exit in the future.
When your concentration is forceful, it is stressful acted concentration for selfish purposes, eg golfer’s concentration to beat opponents. Noble concentration is effortless, settles in passively like a glass of turbid water becomes clear on standing.

Correct meditation is not a daze because it is not forceful but passive and the meditator is at least initially in touch with his environment and imbued with a calm clarity freed of any restlessness. If this is a daze, then as Bush would say, “Bring it on” because it is wonderful to be able to sit still in permanent effortless clearly thinking bliss.

Why The Change Benefited Everyone:

Why The Change Benefited Everyone:
Even though ordinary people constantly go against themselves to create stress or disadvantage for themselves, going against themselves is never without purpose or self benefit but it is ALWAYS intended foolishly for self gain, for short sighted self gratifications. Even though people are evil, feckless, they do not want to suffer anymore than they need too, but because they must be evil, they must continue to suffer.
Hence unless something benefits them, is to their advantage (as Jesus said) people will not change themselves. Unless something clearly benefits them, is instantly recognizable as beneficial, they will not change swiftly en masse.
Why change if you are happy in the state as you are and that change offers you no benefit? That everyone, not just some swiftly changed themselves after 1977 and again in recent years, without having to see me or listen to what I have said implies they can sense the change in me & others around them and they are seized immediately to forcefully change because they do not want to suffer in their current condition.
I certainly derived unmistakable, previously unimaginable benefits ensuing from the change in 1977 and now in recent years and though it is impossible that ordinary people will experience the full extent of the effortlessly calm and clear mental and bodily state I experience, they are likely or must derive similar but lesser benefit from the changes (why should the same change give me benefit but suffering in all others?) that is only limited by the wickedness in still forcefully going against themselves to manipulate others.
There is collaborating evidence that this is the case because I can see now in retrospect as I couldn’t before 1977 that EVERYONE, not just some were suffering in mind warping fashion before 1977 and they were only putting on a (cruel) show that they were enjoying themselves. Previously I was under the delusion that there were many who enjoyed themselves and were well adjusted whilst I was unhappy and ill adjusted but after the change I could see they were all faking it to get along. There is ample evidence from the lives of celebrities (Marilyn, Elvis, Natalie Wood, James Dean, Brando, Howard Hughes) that behind the scenes they were tormented and quite eager to kill themselves. After the changes, although still suffering, people were visibly more ‘liberated’, less inhibited.
Jesus: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's will. Even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
If you agree there was a clear consciousness change after 1977 and again in recent years that benefited you (and everyone as I see), and considering that Jesus said above that not one sparrow will fall to the ground without your Father’s will and even the hairs of your head are ALL numbered, is it possible that this global change I triggered in 1977 and again recently, caught your Father by surprise, was an accident or was it in the full knowledge of the Father and even intended for Jesus also said:
Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage (the counselor must DEFINTELY bring you advantage) that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.
If the initial consciousness change in 1977 was a mere accidental occurrence, it must a series of sheer coincidences that the person who triggered that change then triggered further changes again recently, he exited sinful, stressful acting not once but three times whilst the rest of humanity have not exited acting, even those who profess to be good and intelligent who have been told in no uncertain terms, he is not only intelligent but articulate, able to work out and present in its entirety what is meant by acting and how people stressfully act and furthermore, he happens to be upright, a man of truth not only conversant in spiritual matters but he has illuminated what the Buddha and Jesus said in a way no man has ever done before or now?
Jesus appeared to hint about a future consciousness change:
"I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”
The Requisite Right Resolve:
Right Resolve is one of the eight factors of the Noble Eightfold Path and once you have made the right resolve, you must carry it out mindfully (right mindfulness or attention, another factor) by right conduct & right speech.

I still recall the resolves I made as a troubled person under provocation in 1977 that irreversibly set in motion the consciousness changes that followed.

My original resolves: A determination never again to be pushed around to behave in a weak and dishonest manner to please or placate others but instead I shall thenceforth be myself, love myself, refuse to suffer, I will stand no nonsense from others, whoever they are, I will decide what is right and true for myself, I shall thenceforth be true to myself and others. I felt that people everywhere are putting on a show, dishonest but I will not follow suit.

Is any ordinary person capable of truly, not hypocritically or lip service making the above resolves that may be essential prerequisites for initiating that consciousness change? Ordinary people, no matter how wholesome they want to believe themselves to be, being tough and stubborn are only too willing to play along to please or impress others, to chin up and soak up nonsense from others (or pretend as realistically as possible they really do appreciate) whilst they themselves slyly worked undercover to manipulate others to get what they want.
I am not uncharitable but have repeatedly gravely underestimated human intransigence:
I am actually not uncharitable in opinion about people but they have repeatedly surprised me with their intransigence not to exit stressful, self harming acting despite changes after changes and having been told so.
In my newfound optimism (but blithe ignorance) immediately after I changed, I thought I could spread the gospel, impart this wonderful change that befell me to those around me by talking to them about how to be assertive, how to assertively shed their inhibitions and will themselves to be happy only to be rewarded barely a year later with everyone turning nasty on me like snarling cats on sight when I became involuntarily totally relaxed.
Then I saw that everyone despite all the bared fangs and violent agitation that occurred even in those who were supposed to be good, they were all changing and I suspected that just like me, they will all drop off in a year’s time to become totally relaxed and perhaps the world will come to an end because there will nothing to fight about. When the year end arrived, I was mighty disappointed when despite changes people were just as tough as they have ever been and nobody has exited acting even more than 2 decades after.
If you give the excuse that they did not exit stressful and sinful acting because they did not know, they were not told, then even today, after it has been described in no uncertain terms in its entirety what is acting and how people act, even those who are supposed to be good, who are supposed to be intelligent, who rub shoulders with me daily, nevertheless somnolently continue to be nice in their more discreet ways they think they are being themselves and good.
Not Letting Others Let Their Yes Be Yes Only:
WHEN YOU DO NOT LET YOUR YES BE YES ONLY, YOU ALSO CANNOT LET OTHERS LET THEIR YES BE YES ONLY.
AFTER I HAVE SAID THAT NOWADAYS I DO NOT NEED TO GO TO THE DRIVING RANGE OR TENNIS COURT TO EXERCISE, IT IS LIKELY OR A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY I IMPLY I DO NOT NEED TO KEEP FIT, SO TO ASK, “THEN HOW DO YOU KEEP FIT?” IS NOT BEING GOOD BUT NICE TO ME, IT IS UNNECESSARILY EXPRESSING RESERVATIONS OR DOUBTS ABOUT WHAT I SAID, ASKING ME TO RECONSIDER WHAT I HAVE SAID, NOT LETTING ME LET MY YES BE YES ONLY & PESTERING ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO THINK AND COMPOSE A REPLY.

When I told an acquaintance that nowadays I do not need to go to the driving range or tennis court to exercise, he did not realize he was casting doubt or hesitancy in me (one of 3 lower fetters leading to states of future woe) and not letting me let my yes be yes only by saying ‘Then how do you keep fit?”

When I said, “I don’t need to go to the driving range to exercise” a pertinent or reasonable supposition is that I do not need to exercise and therefore keep fit, hence to question me further, “Then how do you keep fit” is to (mischievously) express doubt or reservations what I said cannot be totally true, implying “Even though you say you don’t need to go to tennis courts for exercise, I still think you need to keep fit, how do you keep fit then?” Is it idle curiosity or essential to know how I otherwise keep fit or is the question LOADED, with possibly hidden antagonism?
If you are nice to others, whether you are aware or not, there MUST be hidden nastiness in you because you are going against yourself to please others, there must be an urge to lash out that is often so well camouflaged behind a smile and whispered gentleness the person himself insists he meant no malice, you must be mistaken, you are sensitive (adding insult to injury). To reflect how close to future insanity actors are, often many do not or cannot see there is hidden venom in their jokes or sarcasms or softly spoken words. They insist they are only jesting or swear they never intended any slights, it must be their poor command of English. Any perceived slight must have been unintended.

Many people have this misguided notion that they are good or friendly if they show interest in others by asking them questions about them when instead everyone who asks questions, especially if they have to be forced, must stress himself to fabricate and then ask the question and it then troubles the other person to think and present an answer. Hence the wise person will only ask questions when it is essential and then ask in an unemotional, un-anxious and un-forceful manner so ask not to stress himself and the other. Fabricating questions to ask have usually become so slick in actors think they are not cognizant it is forced, they are forcing themselves but if a question is asked with a beginning jerk or spurt, with stretched syllables and end with a quizzical emphasis eg an accelerated ‘then’ followed by ‘how do you keep fittt????’ betrays it as forced, not passively genuine.
Further, by asking ‘then how do you keep fit’, he is implying that everyone including me must keep fit, so how do you keep fit? This presumptuous because even though most people may keep fit, it does not follow that I or everyone must keep fit. When you must do something, eg keep fit, then keeping fit will become a ritual or an act. People who keep fit do not realize they are subscribing to a fairly rigid ritual (faith in rituals and precept, one of three lower fetters to states of woe) that become addictive so that in time they cannot do without keeping fit, an impulse that may haunt them in old age.

In the past, because I was constantly forcing myself to act like the rest, I rapidly built up stress and restlessness daily so that I had to let off some steam daily by bashing golf or tennis balls such that I would get annoyed if it rained or was too hot for me to perform my ritual. Usually for a short period afterwards I felt (forcefully) refreshed but very soon stress would return as a result of interactions with others and my emotional expressions.
Nowadays, because I do not act, do not stretch my syllables or smile but passively say or do things without emotions, there is genuinely no need for me to bash balls. A few years ago I had said to myself that I was so addicted to tennis or golf it will be impossible for me to give them up but I now do not have any urge or need to pick up a racket or club. People are incredulous but now that I am passive, unemotional, do not forcefully go against myself in a forcefully controlled way, whatever stress I experience is external and even that I can increasingly tune out (eg when people spit venomously even next to me, I do not flinch, do not force myself not to get upset but I am passively or effortlessly not upset). Hence the answer to the question, ‘then how do you keep fit’ is that I do not keep fit or need to keep fit. I have put on a little weight but I am not aware of being lacking in fitness.
Further, though people may not realize, anyone who will keep fit is manifesting self identity views because if you were not preoccupied with yourself, with preserving your body, you will not bother to regularly keep fit, which does not mean you must neglect or abuse your body. If you are a non actor you can probably keep your body fitter without keeping fit than the actor ritualistically keeping fit.
Apart from being an indication of subscription to self identity view (one of three lower fetters to states of woe) the need to keep fit indicates the person is beset by stress, an actor who is not master of himself but driven inexorably by daily stress to keep fit to stay afloat.

Jesus: "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?”
If you are not anxious about your life, what you shall eat or drink or about your body” how is it that you are concerned about keeping fit. If you say you are not anxious about your body but it is stress that drives you to keep fit, then you are admitting you are a slave of stress.
What Jesus said above corresponds to what the Buddha said concerning self identity views as a lower fetter leading to states of woe. If you have no self identity views, no attachment to your body or self (that does not mean self mortification), how can you be anxious for your life, what you shall eat, about your body?
Colored Perception:
Actors do not realize that everything they perceive is tainted or tampered, in line with their forceful acting. They are like the man wearing permanent sunglasses who thinks everyone sees the world like them when if they could take down their sunglasses, take down their acting, they will realize the view without sunglasses is incomparably superior; colors are more faithfully rendered and they can see more detail.
Hence when they read Jesus say, “"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life”, they automatically read it mentally as “tTHEerefFOore Aiee tTELLll yYOUUuu,(dramatic pause), dDDOOoo nNNOtt bBEEe …” and think Jesus is nice just like them.

THE SIN & DANGERS OF ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS:
MANY PEOPLE THINK NOTHING, EVEN THINK THEY ARE GOOD OR FRIENDLY IF THEY EAGERLY (OR FORCE THEMSELVES TO) ASK OTHERS QUESTIONS NOT REALIZING THAT ANY QUESTION MUST FORCE THE PERSON TO STRESSFULLY THINK AND COMPOSE AN ANSWER AND EVEN IF THEY REFUSED TO ANSWER THERE IS STILL STRESS INVOLVED IN THE REFUSAL. HENCE THE WISE PERSON WILL ASK AS FEW QUESTIONS OF OTHERS SO POSSIBLE SO AS NOT TO PESTER OTHERS TO CREATE KARMA NOT MERIT THAT FOOLISH PERSON MIGHT THINK. EVERY QUESTION MUST STRESS THE ANSWERER HENCE WHEN ONE ASKS ANY QUESTIONS ONE MUST MAKE SURE IT IS ABSOLUTELY PERTINENT TO ASK. THE TRUTH IS MOST PEOPLE HAVE FORCED THEMSELVES TO ASK QUESTIONS OF OTHERS THAT THEY ARE NOW FORCED BY IRRESISTIBLE URGES TO ASK QUESTIONS AND THEY FEEL JUSTIFIED TO DO SO, NOT REALIZING THAT THIS URGE WILL NOT STOP HERE BUT IF THEY KEEP DO SO, IT MAY BECOME MADLY OUT OF CONTROL IN OLD AGE OR IN A SITUATIONAL CRISIS WHEN THEY CANNOT STOP THEMSELVES ASKING QUESTIONS MANICALLY EG “WHY, WHY, WHY GOD? WHAT HAVE I DONE, WHAT HAVE I DO/ ANSWER ME, ANSWER ME, ANSWER ME, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!” IF THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE YOU SELDOM TROUBLED OTHERS WITH UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS, WILL YOU BE STRICKEN BY A MAD URGE LATER?
MANY PEOPLE LIKE TO ASK QUESTIONS WHENEVER THEY CONVERSE WITH OTHERS (TO SHOW THAT THEY HAVE AN INTEREST IN OTHERS) WHEN YOU CAN CONDUCT A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH VERY FEW QUESTIONS. INSTEAD OF ‘HOW ARE YOU?’ (A QUESTION THAT NEEDS AN ANSWER) YOU CAN SAY WITHOUT FORCE OR STRETCHED SYLLABLES, “HI” OR “HELLO” (THIS IS NOT A QUESTION & NEEDS NO REPLY) OFTEN I DISPENSE WITH THE HELLO BUT I IDENTIFY MYSELF AS SO & SO FROM SO & SO AND SAY I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER. FOR INSTANCE YOU CAN CONDUCT A CONVERSATION ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS IN IRAQ, AMERICA, MALAYSIA WITHOUT ASKING ANY QUESTIONS BUT SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO ASK HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND, HOW’S YOUR WIFE, HOW LONG DID YOU STAY, HOW MUCH DID IT COST AND ENDLESSLY.
ALTHOUGH PEOPLE INSIST THEIR QUESTIONS REFLECT GENUINE INTEREST IN OTHERS, IF IT IS FORCED, THERE IS FORCE WHEN YOU ASK THE QUESTION, THEN EVERY TIME YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO ASK A QUESTION, YOU ARE REINFORCING THE URGE TO ASK QUESTIONS FOR THE SAKE OF ASKING, MOST PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY GRADUATED TO THE STAGE WHERE THEY ARE FORCED, NOT FORCING TO ASK QUESTIONS MINDLESSLY. WHAT THEY DO NOT REALIZE IS THAT WHEN THEIR PRESENT CONTROL IS LOST, THEY MAY ASK QUESTIONS MADLY. FURTHER, WHETHER YOU REALIZE YOU FORCE YOURSELF TO ASK QUESTIONS OR NOT, IF IT IS FORCED, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE RESTLESSNESS LATER AND IF YOU KEEP FORCING YOURSELF TO ASK QUESTIONS THE WHOLE DAY, YOU WILL BE SEIZED TORMENTINGLY BY YOUR RESTLESSNESS AT THE END OF THE DAY.
MANY PEOPLE STUDY BUDDHIST SUTTAS IN ALL EARNESTNESS BUT THEY MISS A VITAL LESSON AT THE END WHEN THE BUDDHA IS OFTEN NOTED TO TELL HIS MONKS THAT ‘SO & SO WAS WISE, HE DID NOT PESTER ME’. HE IS WISE NOT FOR THE BUDDHA’S SAKE BUT FOR HIS OWN SAKE FOR TO PESTER A BUDDHA OR ANYONE 9WITH QUESTIONS) CREATES SERIOUS KARMA. (MANY DOCTORS LIKE TO ASK MANY QUESTIONS OF PATIENTS THAT IF THEY LOOK CAREFULLY ARE IRRELEVANT BUT DESIGNED TO IMPRESS THEIR PATIENTS WITH KARMA ATTACHED)
THERE ARE THOSE WHO FORCE THEMSELVES NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND THIS IS AN ACT. IF YOU TRULY, EFFORTLESSLY HAVE NO URGE TO ASK OR NOT ASK QUESTIONS, IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU SUBSEQUENTLY TO BE SEIZED BY MADNESS TO ASK CRAZY QUESTIONS EVEN WHEN ALONE?
THE SIN OF FORCING YOURSELF TO ASK QUESTION IS THAT IT PESTERS OR STRESSES OTHERS TO REPLY. THE DANGERS OF FORCING YOURSELF TO ASK QUESTIONS IS THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE STRESS AND RESTLESSNESS THAT LINGERS, IT IS ADDICTIVE LEADING TO LOSS OF CONTROL AND MADNESS LATER.

The Sin Of Yes, But:
Whenever you say ‘yes’ and later qualify it later with a ‘but’ you have conflicted what you said earlier and you have said something false, something that you did not mean.
For instance you might say, “Yes we must not be anxious about our lives, what we shall eat or what we shall drink, nor about our bodies, BUT that doesn’t mean we must not keep fit.” If you meant what you said that you must keep fit, you are admitting must be anxious about or devote attention to your body and therefore your yes we must be anxious is false or a lie.
Unconscious Unrepentant Liars:
Ordinary people who do not realize they are actors may think they are great espousers of truth but often they do not realize what they speak is not exaggeration but false or a lie. For instance the statement below may have been intended to be humorous, an exaggeration but in truth it is false.
Quote: Someday soon, I may be the last man in America without a cell phone.
Comment: Someday soon, whatever that day is, he is never going to be the last man in America without a cell phone but there will always be a lot of Americans eg the deprived who will be without a cell phone. Hence that statement may be funny but it is not even an exaggeration but false. Is he or many of his fellow cohorts concerned by it? It is likely they ‘enjoy’ it, think it cute and encourage others to similarly appreciate. Jesus said you will be judged for every careless word you said. It is up to you to judge whether you will be judged by such humor; what is at stake for you maybe eternal wandering and an eternity in heaven. It is wise not to be presumptuous (assuming it is harmless), a defilement of the mind according to the Buddha. Woe to you who laughs, for you shall weep.
Jesus: I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every (not some) careless word they utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
Why Insisting & Clinging Is Always Acting:
Whenever someone insists, he is acting because when you insist you are not letting your yes be yes only but must apply force to what you want to say or do. When you insist you did not tell a lie, you are forcefully saying you did not tell a lie and therefore acting. A non acting person only passively says without smiling or insisting, “I did not tell a lie”. When you insist someone stays you are again applying force against the wishes of anyone to force him to stay. If he wants to stay, a passive request suffices. It is sinful to insist because you force the other person to entertain doubt and go against his original wish not to stay. Doubt and uncertainty is one of three fetters leading to states of woe according to the Buddha and by promoting doubt in others, you have debt, not merit on your hands.
Whenever you cling to someone or something (a gold ornament or certificate), either physically or mentally (keep ringing, pestering him), you are also acting because you are actively or forcefully attaching or imposing yourself either mentally or physically to that person.
Faked Speech:
Slo-Mo does not exist and it forces the listener to fabricate to find out what it means. Slo-mo is not an exaggeration but a fake or perversion of slow motion and is designed to be chic, impress others falsely. It is also likely to be spoken in an acted form thus: sSLOoo mMOoo.
Can You Teach The Blind To See?
When I proposed to this reasonably intelligent, apparently upright girl that smiling causes stress, she smiled broadly to insist that smiling does not create stress but it is an antidote to stress. She may be correct but it seems a lot of very ‘normal’ people believe the opposite, what is stressful (eg smiing, stretching syllables and making lotsa money) is soothing, eases stresses (the more money you make the happier you become). And they do not just believe it but they believe it forcefully, emotionally. But if in truth your smiling and stretching syllables is stressful to yourself and others, you will pile debts on yourself. How can you teach the blind to see? Can such a person who is quite ‘happy’ to induce stress in herself spontaneouely induce a consciousness change or spontaneously exit stressful acting?

What Is Acting & How People Act:

What Is Acting & How People Act:
Acting is what ordinary people do all the time and it is a prison of suffering and hence there are no part time actors but they are all fulltime actors until the day if ever they awake to how they act and put an end to their suffering.
Reflecting that this world is a creation of the consciousness and a prison of the senses trapping sinful beings in which animals are part of a continuum including humans, animals too act like human counterparts. Listen to the loud, insistent harsh calls of birds that stresses themselves and their perverted audience who think it is music. They don't chirp but chirp, chirp, chirp shrilly, loudly mindlessly. Hens don’t ‘squawk’, they “sSSQUAawWkKK, sSSQUAawWkKK, sSSQUAawWkKK” with stretched syllables (a form of acting), dogs do not bark “woof” but they are bark with stretched syllables “wWOOFF, wWOOFF, wWOOFF” Animals engage in sophisticated deception to stalk preys. I have seen on TV a stork like bird collecting leftover bread bits thrown by people, dipping them into the water and then releasing them to imitate dropping bread pieces and then staying (or forcing himself to stay) still to wait for foolish fish to come. A specie of orchid has fabricated a flower so like a female bee that male bees prefer to copulate with it. This is deception of a high order.
Acting is the source of all unnecessary internal stresses. It is false and unnecessarily stresses the actor himself and recipients of his acting. Because acting is harmful (stressful) and false, it is sinful and because people act all the time, they are therefore sinning all the time. Because acting is forceful and harmful, it cumulatively warps and degrades the mind leading inevitably to acute and senile restlessness, mania (madness and violent impulses) and depression. All actors must experience regular bouts of restlessness, mad or violent thoughts or actions and depression which they are able to shrug but when they grow old, they will become uncontrollable.
A Definition Of Acting:
Driven by emotions (anger, hate, greed, fear, lust) and stress (distracts and seizes the mind), actors forcefully go against themselves all the time in a controlled way to exaggerate or fake what and how they say, do, perceive and think in the name of deceiving, impressing, pleasing, intimidating and dominating others. Because acting is going against oneself, it has to be constantly subject to forceful restraint or modulation or it will seriously harm the actor. Without restraint, turning back at the brink, actors will burn themselves out quickly.
Because all acting is false and fabricated, tampering with whatever the person wants to say or do, force must be applied to act. Anything that is done or said forcefully, with excessive force, with excessive acceleration of speed and force (instead of even speed or force) is acted. For example many actors speak in an explosive manner caused by a rapid acceleration of loudness and speed of words followed by sudden deceleration instead of easeful smoothly raising the loudness and maintaining the loudness during speech.

How Emotions & Stress Drives Acting:
It is because of greed(an emotion) that people constantly rush such that they are now forced to rush, no longer forcing themselves to rush. Whenever you rush, you must say or do things with excessive force and speed (loud & fast); you cannot be attentive but doing or saying things approximately by rote or well practiced regurgitation mindlessly and therefore acting.
It is because of fear (an emotion) that people learn to behave in falsely respectful ways (act) to authority figures like rulers, officials and parents. Driven by fear of punishment by authority figures, people learn to act submissive or respectful.
Driven by anger (an emotion) people act by shouting (loud, explosive speech) that stresses themselves and their victims in order to dominate or intimidate them.
Acting generates stress that couples with the stress from the bombardment of harsh acting by others. Stress from one's and others' acting causes the mind to be distracted, filled with ill will and restless, conditions inimical to not acting. Only when a person is calm, clearly thinking and serene will he not go against himself to act because acting will destroy that. Because actors’ minds have their serenity and clear thinking destroyed, they have forgotten or never tasted true calm serenity, they have learnt to accept their harassed mental states as natural and driven by internal and external stress, they continue to act somnolently.

Three types Of Acting & Act Breakdown:
They are voluntary (conscious) intended acting, involuntary (unconscious) intended acting and involuntary unintended or mad acting. There is further act breakdown people call nervous breakdowns.

Although ordinary people are constant actors, they are called upon to learn new acts all the time. For instance, they get married and have to learn how to act like a husband, a child is born and they have to learn how to act like a father. They are elected president and they have to learn how to act presidential according to what they think a president of the USA should act like.
Hence acting is initially conscious and hesitating or difficult as they learn how to act a new role eg playing tennis in a stylish way to impress others. This is called voluntary intended acting. (It is not that you must forcefully act to fulfill the role of husband or parent but because of social expectations and being an actor, they must act husband instead of being passively, let your yes be yes only a husband)
It is the nature of acting that what is well practiced frequently becomes automatic, can be rendered by rote needing little monitoring. Hence if actors make the successful transition (stress and conflict or anxiety that acting out any role creates is a stumbling block, some people can never overcome the stress and anxieties of acting a certain role eg as doctor or father), his new act (eg as president) becomes involuntary (no longer forcing but forced by urge or impulse) intended acting. People smile and stretch their syllables all the time, they are fabricated to please or impress others but they are now done largely unconsciously without realising they are faking and stressful. Easeful not smiling when provoked and not to stretch their syllables are instead difficult if not impossible for actors to do. Though it may be slick and reduces self conscious anxiety, involuntary intended acting is a form of forceful denial, closing one's eyes to falsehood and harm to act, ceding control of oneself to blind forces (emotions, stress, urges, impulses), an act the actor fails to realize will ultimately lead to torment as he will increasingly lose control of his acting to become madly restless, madly violent, madly irrational and sink into irretrievable depression.
Whilst he is still consciously hesitatingly forcing himself to act eg presidential, he still has control and can stop his acting presidential but when he has graduated to become unconscious, automatically rendered acting president, he becomes a sophisticated forceful robot, a slave not master of sin headed for doom as all robots will ultimately disintegrate.

Mad involuntary unintended acting is the final malignant phase of acting getting out of control that initially afflicts actors briefly but will become more severe, prolonged and frequent as the actor's resistance disintegrates either in situational crises or as he ages. Because acting is forcefully going against oneself creating serious stress and conflict, it must generate forceful resentment against self and others that seeks expression but must be forcefully repressed because it would negate acting aimed to deceive, please and impress others if you accidentally scowled as you smiled alluringly. But it is precisely that you force yourself to stressfully smile at others that there must be an urge to be nasty, to emit explosive grunts, spits and violent acts (eg slam your fist on the desk out of the blue). When presidential candidate Howard Dean upset his bid by emitting a scream publicly after his primary defeat, he was manifesting involuntary unintended or mad acting beyond his control to act civilized.
Watch actors talking, eg on TV and you will see many poking their tongues out every now & then reflecting that what they say is faked to gain confidence and they are poking their tongues IMPULSIVELY to express hostility.
There is another type of mad acting as when someone emotionally washes his hands because of a fear of germs. In time to come, this urge or impulse to wash his hands becomes mad and he then keeps going to wash his hands obsessively and cannot help himself not to. Many like to believe their chirpy “Good morning” is genuine but they are all faked to get along. Because it is forcefully automated, not passively rendered by choice it sometimes slips the actor’s control to say ‘good morning’ inappropriately eg it is night or after knowingly having said good morning to the person earlier. When he grows old, he may find himself madly saying “good morning!” to himself. Because acting is forceful going against self, it develops a mind of its own that with the slipping of control by the actor becomes madly rendered beyond the actor's control.
Nervous breakdowns are act breakdowns. If a person never acts, never forcefully goes against himself to present a false alluring image of himself that is maintained mentally and physically at all cost, he will not drive himself to nervous breakdown. It is because people are pretentious, have overly unrealistically images that they want the world to believe in (how macho, seductive, intelligent they are) that when they are exposed or think they have lost face, they become shattered and experience a nervous breakdown.

How People Act:

They exaggerate what they speak:
They say extra words, extra sentences, beat around the bush unnecessarily to exaggerate. Eg they say ‘yes, yes, yes’ or ‘come, come, come’ instead of a single ‘yes’ or ‘come’. Many people do not realize they exaggerate, so used are they to their constant exaggeration.
For instance, this person uttered emotionally, “Nowadays even the nuns are late!” This is a form of exaggeration implying that it is so terrible nowadays; (what more lesser souls) even nuns do not keep their appointments. What is the big deal about nuns being late? Are nuns made of special stuff that they must be on time? How many nuns does he know and has he done a survey to show even nuns are late nowadays compared to the past? They may be late because of a traffic jam, not because they are deliberately being truant. Actually she was not late but the speaker failed to ascertain beforehand when she was supposed to turn up and was impatient for proceedings to start. When I told him (calmly) that there is karma disparaging the nun, he became upset (overreaction or exaggerated reaction). I did not scold him but told him calmly what he said has karma, so why should he become emotionally defiant? (If what I said is false, why get crossed over something that is not true or is he crossed because I besmirched him, i.e he is sensitive?)
Even if all nuns are being miscreant in deliberately arriving late, you are sinning disparaging them. You can say you are annoyed by their late coming but to disparage anyone is to sin and foolishly creates karma for yourself.
Many people utter ‘so’ emphatically without thinking to exaggerate, eg ‘sooo nice’, ‘sooo sweet’, ‘soooo terrible’. It is not enough for them to say it is nice, it is terrible, but they must mindlessly say ‘so terrible’ or ‘lotsa’ fun.
Watch yourself speaking and if you are honest (and discerning), you will find yourself reflexively, emotionally exaggerating far more than you concede. Whatever you might say, if you exaggerate, you will stress yourself and others and depression will be your companion and you will go to perdition.
When you say; “Wow! Look at him go!”, the ‘wow’ is said emotionally, unnecessarily to exaggerate. Suffice to say, “Look at him go. (without exclaiming)”. People say, “Look! I want you to know this” when it suffice to say, “I want you to know this”.
They exaggerate how they speak:
Many ordinary people speak too loud and fast than is necessary because they put too much force into how they speak. Whoever speaks loud and fast stresses himself (therefore goes against himself) and others. Not only do they speak loud and fast, they speak EXPLOSIVELY with exaggerated acceleration (and deceleration afterwards) of the loudness and speed of what they say. When you speak loudly with exaggerated volume (loud) and speed (fast) you are exaggerating how you speak.
Similarly, if you speak excessively softly (whisper) you are speaking with exaggerated volume and hence again exaggerating how you speak. When you whisper to try to seduce, you have to forcefully lower your voice and keep it lowered for an extended period creating stress.
Many people stretch their syllables all the time to be nice, to act concerned, to intimidate (eg Aiie wiilll kkillll youuu!!!) and this is exaggerating how you speak.
Instead of ‘please’ they say, “pplleeaassseee!”. Instead of “John Doe” they say “Jjohnnn Ddooee!”
They fake how they speak:
However earth shaking whatever you want to say, it can be said clearly and calmly without losing the message but you fake how you speak by speaking in an excited or dramatic way (popping eyes, grimacing face) to falsely impress others what you are saying is so interesting, so wonderful when often it is ho hum.
When something is not exciting (nothing will excite a Buddha, if you must be excited, you must suffer) and you say it in an excited way, you are faking how you speak, not exaggerating how you speak.
They fake what they speak:
When you tell a lie, spin a yarn or give an an excuse (eg why you couldn’t attend) you are faking what you speak. When you engage in idle chatter, telling jokes, you are faking what you say. All jokes are false. If it was the truth, it wouldn't be called a joke. So whenever you tell a joke, what you say is faked. Usually when people fake what they say, they also exaggerate it, they fake in an exaggerated way.
They exaggerate how they do things:
If you do something with more force than is necessary (exaggerated force) you are exaggerating how you do something.
They exaggerate what they do:
When you write or sign your signature with flowery loops that are not necessary in order to communicate your thoughts to others, you are exaggerating your writing, exaggerating what you do.
People write with greater force or exaggerated feebleness (fine willowy lines) than necessary. They type with great unnecessary force plus individual style or exaggerated daintiness to impress others (or themselves) how great typists they are.
When someone walks, his intention is to move from one place to another. Anything more is not letting your yes be yes only but comes from evil (according to Jesus) and walking in an acted exaggerated way eg walk with increased force, walking with excessive & forceful swing of legs and arms, unnecessarily puffed up chest or hunched chest, walking like a gunslinger, disrespectful hopping and skipping, walking as if exhausted (no matter how exhausted, a noble person will act out his exhaustion but just walk)
In order to walk sexily, you must not merely walk but you must sway or gyrate your hips (it is simple, watch and imitate fellow female goats everywhere). In order to walk impressively, you learnt to walk briskly with propped up chest, swing your arms and legs with more range (longer) and more force than is necessary.
A golfer exaggerates the length and path of his swing, exaggerates his posture to impress anyone who will care to be impressed (including himself) what an accomplished golfer he is.
In order to smoothen or equilibrate a sand bag he is filling, it may be necessary to only shake it up & down once but the nice guy will shake it forcefully three times reflecting his inability to merely let his yes be yes only.
Actors do not sound the horn ‘toot’ they either sound their horns impatiently thus “tooooot!” or mindlessly, rapidly, “toot, toot, toooot!”
All facial expressions eg smiling, winking, frowning, scowling, rhythmic jerking of head, blinking eyelids, gesticulating with hands in tandem with speech is faked to exaggerate what people say.
They fake what they do:
All smiles and laughter are in truth faked. They can be totally faked (they smile to fake they are not hurt, happy when they are hurt or sad) to be nice or be emotionally triggered by stimuli, eg many cannot resist smiling when someone smile to them, a lustful man cannot help smiling at a pretty girl, a money obsessed man smiling whenever he sees money. These are not natural but they are involuntary well practiced faking that have become impulsive, cannot be resisted driven by greed or delight for gain. Girls giggle when provoked not because it is natural but they are now impulsive slaves to emotions such that they compulsively, pretentiously giggle eg to act bashful when confronted by a man provocatively gyrating mischievously with a bra across his chest.
An actor may swiftly pretend to look at some magazine when he sees someone he does not wish to greet. When asked a question he heard quite well, he may automatically fake, “I beg your pardon???”
Actors routinely cross their legs seated in conversation towards another to fake friendliness or empathy.
They exaggerate how they think:
If actors watch themselves thinking, they never think matter of fact but their thoughts are forceful, rapid, haphazard and filled with emotions. They keep thinking over and over again the same things to exaggerate. They think over and over again their championship victory.
When you think with force, with emotion, with stretched mental syllables, you are exaggerating what you think.
They fake what they think:
When you indulge in fantasies, you are faking. Eg when you fantasize you’ve won a lottery, got a Ferrari, lust after a girl, you are faking your thoughts. Whenever you are not as rich as you make believe tell yourself mentally, you are faking what you think. When what you say or do is false but you tell yourself forcefully it is true, you are faking what you think.
When you indulge in fantasy how you will extract revenge, eg you are spiderman and will stalk him, you are faking. All fantasies are never passive but forceful and emotional, batters the mind and reinforces the mind to become hooked on fantasy and make belief.
You imagine you are a doctor when you are a clerk, you imagine you are a successful man living in an exclusive suburb when you are a nobody living in a slum.
They exaggerate what they perceive:
Actors stare or forcefully keep their eyes open for longer than necessary to intimidate others or falsely convey their sincerity. To apply force and keep your eyes open longer than comfortable is to exaggerate your seeing or perception.
Some actors look permanently through slit like peering eyes perhaps to disguise their dishonesty. They want to see others but they do not want others to see how they are looking or the evil intentions reflected in their eyes. Many people routinely regularly close their eyes as they speak, not to reflect thinking but to close their eyes to the dishonesty of what they speak. They dishonestly look through the corner of their eyes to feign or fake they are not looking or not interested when they are looking and interested. Their eyes dart restlessly reflecting the dishonesty of what they say or to survey if there is anything of gain eg a thief surveys anything around worth stealing.
When you (emotionally) see a girl and think she is the prettiest girl you ever saw when she is only reasonably attractive, your perception of beauty is exaggerated. When the girl is quite drab and you (emotionally) perceive her as out of this world, your perception may be false.
Actors don't just listen passively to everything that impinges on their ears. They only want to hear things they want to hear the way they want it. Some people want to hear only loud music played forcefully not soothing music. Actors eat with force, taste with force (exaggerated taste). Everything they perceive (see, hear, touch, taste) must be forced, forceful or they may refuse to take notice or pretend not to perceive. You must speak loudly, shout before they will pretend to hear you.
Many motorists have exaggerated perceptions of safe maneuvers. For instance, not just women but men sometimes hesitate and do not join traffic when it is clearly safe to do so and sometimes they attempt to merge when it is clearly suicidal. They do not cross the road or overtake when it OK, impeding others behind or they cross or overtake when it is suicidal to do. They have poor judgment or exaggerated judgment of what is OK or not OK that does not reflect reality. Poor judgment is not blameless but reflects an artificial, rigid or mechanical acting person.
They fake what they perceive:
What you see things that aren’t there you are faking. People see a face in a cloud (imagination is fabricated vision, it would be presumptuous to think a Buddha will similarly see a face in a cloud because he does not fabricate and to see a face in a cloud when it is only a cloud is to fabricate because of desire or pretense), they see a figure or ghost or hear noises when they aren’t. People hear virtual or faked music in the head when there isn’t; they hallucinate visually and aurally. Alcoholics see elephants, some people complain of pain or ants crawling over them when there is medically nothing wrong. Amputatees imagine or fake perceive their (phantom) limbs are still there.
All actors must suffer from:
Stress, conflict & restlessness: Because acting is constantly forcefully going against oneself unnecessarily to exaggerate and fake with speech, body, mind and perception, it must create stress and conflict (anyone who is going against himself must experience conflict) and because he keeps acting, the stress and conflict is insoluble and leads to restlessness. Further, the stress and restlessness thus generated by acting keeps the mind distracted and irritable, a condition conducive to continued acting and inimical to the arising of not acting.
Emotions: Emotions drive acting and acting creates emotions that maintain acting. Anyone who is constantly stressfully going against himself to exaggerate and fake must experience anger and hate for himself for going against himself and anger and hate for others he feels obliged to please or impress. Anyone who goes against himself to please or impress others must harbor shame because he is prostituting himself and this shame must be repressed and countered by an inordinate pride. Anyone who acts must be emotionally, irrationally stubborn because acting is harmful and in order to keep harming yourself, you must be stubborn, you must be a goat.
Mad & Violent Thoughts: Anyone who is constantly forcefully going against himself to exaggerate or fake what and how he says, does, thinks or perceives must be at least a bit mad, must harbor silly or violent thoughts and impulses.
Depression: Because acting is unnecessarily going against oneself to produce unnecessary stress and conflict and the actor keeps acting generating insoluble stress and restlessness for himself, he must feel despair and become depressed.
Ultimate Restlessness, Mania and Depression: Because acting is forceful, emotional and stressful, it is constantly battering the mind to slowly warp and degrade it. Whilst he is still young, the actor is able to withstand the abuse he heaps on himself but with age, his resistance weakens and he succumbs to increasingly severe restlessness, madness (mad thoughts and violent impulses) and depression that seem to arise ‘out of the blue’.
Headaches & Dizzy Spells: Headaches and dizzy or giddy spells are not part and parcel of existence but they are part and parcel of sinful, forceful acting. If one is always passive, never applies excessive force in whatever and how one thinks, perceives, says or does, one is never stressed or emotional, one will not subject one’s mind to constant battering that inevitably results in headaches and giddiness which are reflections the mind is being harmed. It is because the mind has reserves and powers of recovery, just as it usually recovers from drunken abuse, it usually recovers from the headaches and giddiness resulting from acting abuse. But this state of affairs will not necessarily remain so and a day will come when the mind is finally permanently shattered by heedless lifelong abuse.
Dazes: Acting itself is a daze that actors put themselves into because most actors are unaware, they are in a daze or mesmerized that they are not acting when they are. Often in a day, an actor may lapse involuntarily in a daze when he is detached from reality, daydreaming. A Buddha does not daydream. Such dazes are involuntary but arise suddenly under provocation (something happen, eg husband killed) and seizes the actor helplessly. Because it is a private reality, does not correspond to physical reality, dazes are false states of minds that that mind lapses into and as he ages, such dazes become more frequent until at death he is swallowed permanently into his private false dazed world to head for perdition. A person who is not attached to his self (self identity views one of three fetters to states of woe) will not fall into dazes but he will be rooted in reality, the present world he is in.
Watch ordinary people speaking and in the midst of speaking or reminiscing, they may suddenly stop and stare vacantly as they lapse into a daze. Such dazes are not voluntary but involuntary, seizing them helplessly and reflects they are not masters but slaves, can be seized and fall into woe.
Mental & Act Blocks: Actors are prone to suffer mental blocks, they forget what they are thinking about, going to say or do. This reflects that what they say or do is going against themselves and complicated and there is forceful internal resistance that sometimes stop them in their tracks. What is not going against self is not forceful and straight forward and there is no mental or act block.

ALL ACTORS ARE DICING WITH AND WILL SUCCUMB IN VARYING DEGREES IN OLD AGE TO MAD RESTLESSNESS, MAD THOUGHTS AND VIOLENCE AND DEPRESSION.

ANYTHING DONE, SAID AND THOUGHT WITH GREATER FORCE THAN IS NECESSARY TO ACCOMPLISH IT IS ACTED. IT IS EMOTIONS THAT IS BEHIND THIS HAMFISTED EXCESSIVE FORCE THAT BESET EVEN DAINTY GIRLS WHO ARE NOT GENTLE BUT FORCEFULLY GENTLE. IT IS THIS EMOTION DRIVEN FORCEFULNESS WHICH HARMS SELF AND RECIPIENTS THAT WILL IN TIME FINALLY OVERPOWER THE TOUGH MIND THAT FORCEFULLY FABRICATES SO THAT IT WOULD GO MAD, GO UNOPPOSED AGAINST ITSELF, DESTROY ITSELF BY ITS OWN EMOTIONAL CONCEIT AND DECEIT.
The occurrence of intermittent bouts of depression is a warning sign the person is acting, emotionally exaggerating and faking all the time. Whilst his vitality is intact, he can suppress and temporarily overcome the enclosing depression to return to his forceful, faked cheerful acting. With time his depressions becomes deeper, more prolonged and harder to shake off and he is headed for doom, even hell. Anyone vulnerable to bouts of depression would be wise to abandon all earthly pursuits, stop smiling, stop stretching his syllables, stop denying he is depressed (by smiling and humming tunes to drive away the blues), stop exaggerating and faking and devote time to meditate to impose calm on his mind until calm is the default state of his mind. Until you are free of emotions, free of acting, you will never be free of depression and you are headed for doom.

THERE IS A SERENE, CLEARLY THINKING CENTERED STATE CALLED NON ACTING AS OPPOSED TO THIS WORLD OF UBIQUITOUS STRESSED, EMOTIONAL AND MENTALLY DISTRACTED OR SCATTERED ACTORS. THESE TWO STATES ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE; YOU CANNOT CHOOSE TO BE BOTH AN ACTOR AND NON ACTOR OCCASIONALLY AT WILL.

BECAUSE ACTING IS WHAT BEINGS IN THIS WORLD INDULGE IN OR ARE MESMERISED IN CLUELESSLY ALL THE TIME, IT IS STRESSFUL & MIND WARPING TO SELF AND OTHERS (STRESS KILLS) & IT IS FALSE (EXAGGERATING AND FAKING) A BEING HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO WAKE UP AND STOP ACTING IF HE IS TO DEPART RESTLESS, MAD, VIOLENT AND DEPRESSING SINFUL ACTING TO BLISSFUL, SERENE, CLEARLY THINKING, SINLESS NON ACTING.
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY BECAUSE IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ONE TO REMAIN IN ACTING AND STILL BE SINLESS, CLEARLY THINKING, SERENE, PASSIVE, FREE FROM RESTLESSNESS, MAD VIOLENT IMPULSES AND DEPRESSION.
What the counselor must do:
Jesus said the counselor will bring you advantage. He will convince the world (not just Christians) regarding sin, righteousness (virtue) and judgment.
If it is true there was a liberating consciousness change in 1977 (that still continues), it is true that beings in this world are all acting all the time when it is possible to not act (let your yes be yes only), when acting is stressful and tormenting to self and others, is false and bad, never good, then the counselor that Jesus described must also cause this liberating consciousness change, dwell on acting and advice against acting.

What Happened & Why:

What Happened & Why:
Preface:
“The difference between me and others is that I have exited acting three times by myself whilst almost three decades later, others have not only NOT exited acting, they have NOT exited acting EVEN after they have been told in no uncertain terms what is meant by acting, even when they profess to be good and discerning.

Barely a year after I changed in 1978 I exited acting spontaneously (without knowing so then) to become ‘totally relaxed or incapable of suffering’ but under extreme duress everywhere, I gradually reverted to acting but in a world that has changed, only to again exit acting spontaneously briefly in 1986 and now in recent years I again gradually exited acting by working out by myself the nature of my daily stresses which inevitably meant working out precisely the nature of acting, to ensure that now finally understanding fully why, I will never revert back to acting.

In contrast, others even though they too changed, never exited acting by themselves in almost three decades that followed and even today, after much tutelage many who call themselves good and discerning still stubbornly manifest acting despite acting being stressful, mind warping and sinful. If actors are so good and discerning (as they delude themselves), how come they cannot see (even after being pointed out in no uncertain terms) that whatever they do or say, however they do or say is forced, not natural, stresses themselves and others, is exaggerated or faked, never letting their yes be yes only?

I am not jumping to conclusions and being unkind to others to exalt myself as unique because in the aftermath in 1978 I had underestimated the recalcitrance of ordinary people to foolishly believe then that everyone will drop out soon to become totally relaxed just like I did. This indicates I am not uncharitable or conceited, setting myself to be superior. That never eventuated nor in retrospect, was there any danger it would or any possibility it could. Notwithstanding, what I say that people everywhere have never exited acting is unemotional, clearly thinking and after exhaustive discerning observations.

The reason cannot be arbitrary but there may be or is a fundamental difference in my nature compared with the rest and suggests that given the chance ordinary people are unlikely to initiate this consciousness change and thereafter spontaneously exit tormenting acting.

That fundamental difference is that I have an implacable aversion for suffering (which is NEVER blameless as people still delude themselves but suffering ALWAYS stems from self sin & falsity and acting is an entire way of conduct of being TOTALLY IMMERSED in mutually reinforcing falsity and thence suffering) and allied to my disccernment, an uncommon ability to differentiate what is truly true from what is false but clothed as truth, it is unsurprising but inevitable that given the chance or a glimpse of an exit from suffering I never dreamt possible, I was never going to let it out of sight but I seized it to spontaneously exit false and suffering acting, not once but three times.
That the mass of ordinary people around (I foolishly expected in 1978 that they would drop out of acting to become totally calm just as I did in 1978) never exited acting even almost 3 decades after 1977 suggests they are not as truthful or good as they pretend to themselves and others to be; if they indeed are truthful and good, they would have discovered spontaneously by themselves what & how they say or do things ALL THE TIME is exaggerated and faked and how it is sinful and stressful.

When I changed, I directed my newfound forcefulness to eliminating the force of going against self until it was finally erased, causing me to become ‘totally calm’ but subsequent overwhelming duress from others reverted me back to shallow acting.

When others were forced to change by circumstances, they directed their newfound forcefulness to merely sharpen or make more direct their existing force of going against self together with their force of self preservation (both were strengthened) which is why they never exited acting to become ‘incapable of suffering’ and were never in danger of doing so” because they lack insight, were indifferent to suffering in themselves and others and harbored unresolvable ill will that they cannot confront but they disguised so well as acted goodness that they will not relinquish but instead emotionally, forcefully believe is beneficial for themselves and others.

WHAT ORDINARY PEOPLE STUBBORNLY INSIST IS “LOVE” OR ‘GOODNESS’ IS ALWAYS IN TRUTH FORCING THEMSELVES TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.

NICENESS IS NEVER GOODNESS OR LOVE BUT IT IS ALWAYS SUGAR LACED POISON FOR BOTH GIVER AND RECEIVER, DETAINS BOTH IN DECEIT & HARM CLOAKED AS TRUTH & GOOD. THIS IS A UNIVERSAL LAW AND WHOEVER IS UNKNOWINGLY NICE MUST SUFFER EVEN ENDLESSLY UNTIL HE WAKES UP FROM HIS DECEIT AND SELF & OTHER HARM.

WHAT ORDINARY PEOPLE WANT IS TO BE EMOTIONALLY, FORCEFULLY NICE TO OTHERS AND WHAT THEY WANT AND EXPECT IS THAT OTHERS BE EMOTIONALLY AND FORCEFULLY NICE TO THEM.

NICENESS, LIKE SEX, MAY BE IRRESISTIBLE AND ALLURING FOR AWHILE BUT IT IS ALWAYS UNDERTAKEN WITH EFFORT & STRESS AND AFTER HAVING BEEN NICE, YOU WILL GET SICK WITH YOURSELF, YOU MUST GET SICK WITH THE PERSON YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SO FALSELY, EVEN INTIMATELY NICE TO, WHICH YOU THEN CANNOT ACCEPT OR EXPRESS AND YOU MUST THEN TRY TO HIDE YOUR SICKNESS FROM HIM AND YOURSELF (DENY), REINFORCING A MINDSET OF PRETENSE AND PERPETUATING FUTURE NICENESS UNTIL IN OLD AGE, YOUR MIND SHATTERED, YOU BECOME TRULY MAD.

THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE TO NICENESS CALLED BEING TRUE TO ONESELF AND OTHERS. IT IS EFFORTLESS, NEVER FORCED, NOT SMILING, NOT STRETCHING SYLLABLES, NOT EXAGGERATING OR FAKING TO PLEASE OR IMPRESS OTHERS, NOT INTIMIDATING OR DOMINATING OTHERS, SHEDDING ALL EMOTIONS (LUST, FEAR, GREED, AGGRESSION, PRIDE) TO ONLY LET YOUR YES BE YES PASSIVELY FEEL.
***
As clear as day is distinguishable from night, I am (in my unemotional, impartial perception) today an unmistakably very different, permanently changed person compared to who I was prior to 1977 in terms of being now effortlessly free from stress, restlessness, conflict, silly thoughts, violent impulses and vulnerability to depression together with a concomitant reduction of defilements (lust, greed, anger, ill will, pride, jealousy, envy, presumption).

As clear as day is distinguishable from night, I detected after repeated objective observations that everyone in the world, including animals too have changed in appearance and behavior in the aftermath of the (momentous) conscious change in 1977 and even today, their appearances and behavior indicate ongoing change of an out of the ordinary behavioral and consciousness kind.

The person I am today, the effortless, permanent release from mental suffering that I now experience is unthinkable in the consciousness circumstances before 1977 and my present effortlessly woe free state is not achievable however one might try without there having occurred a revolutionary consciousness change. It was as if there was a quantum jump in the consciousness to a different level hitherto unknown to beings before 1977.

Immediately after I had established with confidence that I was not kidding myself but I had truly changed in 1977, I said to myself joyously without conceit that what I had just done or discovered or stumbled upon was unique, marvelous, how come nobody has discovered it before, is there a scientific basis for it? In my enthusiasm, I tried to encourage others to similarly change, not realizing then it was unnecessary because everyone would change as a matter of course later (although they still stubbornly continued to act even till this day, even despite non acting being bliss and acting being stress).

Barely a year after I changed in 1977 it was as if a bottom fell out of me or a ripening fruit finally fell when I became involuntarily calm without effort as if incapable of suffering. It was as if I had woken from a dream, things that I previously held as dear no longer applied, emotions that were previously intense became deflated and I now did or said things effortlessly as if walking on air, I could not believe anymore in the things people around me still believed as if asleep and I was now awake but at the same time life became very difficult because people appeared to find it difficult, even violently agitating to relate to me. I had wondered then why this had to cruelly happen to me like receiving a poisoned chalice; here I was effortlessly serene not worrying without having to force myself like before but engendering disruptive reactions everywhere I went which did not seem to happen to anyone else. How am I going to conduct my daily life in such a difficult circumstance beyond my control where I was effortlessly calm but it made me a pariah. What is the difference in me, why couldn’t I be ANONYMOUS like others or be accepted by others in my changed state?

A similar recurrence in milder form happened in 1986 when I again became involuntarily relaxed and it again made life relating to others difficult or surreal. I again wondered why I couldn’t be like others, anonymous. Why did these involuntary stress-free states that though pleasant made life surreal keep arising in me, ostracizing me? What is the difference in me that such relaxed states kept recurring in me whilst it seemed others are getting on with their lives uneventfully? Why can’t I be like the rest?

(In retrospect, though I did not recognize it then, during those two episodes of ‘total incapacity to suffer’ I had spontaneously exited acting to become effortlessly not acting but under overwhelming intimidatory, rejecting reactions all around, I gradually reverted to acting until finally a few years ago I again graudally extricated myself from stress to exit acting, this time armed with insight and more congenial conditions because people everywhere are also changing in tandem again now.)

How Come & The Reasons Why:
The reason why barely a year after I changed in 1977, I became effortlessly relaxed as if incapable of suffering, previously strong emotions became deflated and I could no longer subscribe to the values I previously shared with others may have been because after the initial change I was constantly applying force to neutralize the force of going against myself inside me and unknown to me this stressful force of going against myself was being slowly erased and finally died to leave me with effortless, forceless not going against myself or being myself and this state was reflected in my serene appearance without restlessness, how I conducted myself and spoke as if without effort.

Because people then had never seen such a person and in truth everyone was held in considerable pent up suffering, the sight of me and my effortless conduct seized people viscerally to react violently, in the process attacking their mental shackles to liberate themselves.

The reason why after decades, as far as I can ascertain, nobody else experienced that similar involuntary effortless incapacity to suffer that I had experienced twice may be due to a fundamental difference in my nature. Although everyone broke their shackles in their minds, other people’s shackles restrained their entrenched ill will and pretense whilst mine in truth restrained goodwill and truthfulness. Hence when ordinary people broke their shackles they only gave more direct expression to their previously restrained aggressive and pretentious impulses and they therefore never went on to experience finally a similar effortless inability to suffer as I did which may have been a spontaneous cessation of acting.

Put in another way, when others changed, they never directed their new found mental forcefulness at their internal force of going themselves but instead when they removed their own shackles, this force of going against themselves to act became more direct and incisive together with a similarly more direct and incisive force of restraint. If they had directed their newfound forcefulness to destroy their force of going against themselves (as I did) they would have ceased acting and thus become effortlessly calm. That they all still act decades later indicates this is the case. If this is the case, it suggests that it may be impossible for ordinary people to initiate the consciousness change if they were given the chance because they are quite happy to continue suffering by acting even when their shackles are removed. The reason why I attacked the shackles was because I did not want to suffer anymore, I did not want to go against myself anymore. When ordinary people saw the effortless calm in me, they were seized to attack shackles but not to stop themselves going against themselves but to intensify their acting.

You could say I was an amateur, suffering actor who was always on the lookout for an escape from this horrific prison of acting and when given the first opportubity to escape I went directly for the door whilst ordinary people much as they protested their wholesomeness, were professional, even hardcore actors who although suffering serious mind warping agonies from their acting, could never give up their manipulative acting and when a door was opened for them where none existed before, they were quite happy and foolish to still hang around detained by sensual allures. This theory that people are recalcitrant actors is supported by the fact that even today, even after I have demonstrated to them how people act, those who call themselves good, those who are quite intelligent appear quite clueless for they continue to act even when not acting is bliss.

Hence when I attacked the shackles in my mind, I was slowly releasing the repressed goodwill and truthfulness in me, which was why barely a year later I became effortlessly incapable of suffering as the forces that restrained my goodwill and truthfulness finally gave in. When others were provoked to change by the changes they saw or sensed around them, they attacked shackles that restrained a recalcitrant urge to fake and manipulate others, allowing them to become more directly tough and manipulative.
The Requisite Right Resolve:
Right Resolve is one of the eight factors of the Noble Eightfold Path and once you have made the right resolve, you must carry it out mindfully (right mindfulness or attention, another factor) by right conduct & right speech.

I still recall the resolves I made as a troubled person under provocation in 1977 that irreversibly set in motion the consciousness changes that followed.

My original resolves: A determination never again to be pushed around to behave in a weak and dishonest manner to please or placate others but instead I shall thenceforth be myself, love myself, refuse to suffer, I will stand no nonsense from others, whoever they are, I will decide what is right and true for myself, I shall thenceforth be true to myself and others. I felt that people everywhere were putting on a show, dishonest but I will not follow suit.

Is any ordinary person capable of truly, not hypocritically or lip service making the above resolves that may be essential prerequisites for initiating that consciousness change? Ordinary people, no matter how wholesome they want to believe themselves to be, being tough and stubborn are only too willing to play along to please or impress others, to chin up and soak up nonsense from others (or pretend as realistically as possible they really do appreciate) whilst they themselves slyly worked undercover to manipulate others to get what they want.

Apparent Not Real Independence:
I wondered many times if there could be a scientific explanation (eg a physiological basis or evolutionary process) for this consciousness change I had undergone that was distinct and unimaginable by me before. How did I ever stumble on it, why me? What happened?

Even the most virulent infections do not spread to affect everyone so swiftly but pandemics of flu flare up to then wane without affecting everyone. That this change should later spread rapidly to compulsorily affect everyone suggests that it was no ordinary physical or scientific event but a miraculous or extraordinary event. Why should something physiological or even a circuit change happening to my brain similarly affect everyone’s brains to follow suit merely on sight of me? No scientific theory can satisfactorily explain this consciousness change and this change therefore suggests that this world is not a scientific stand-alone world where its beings are truly independent of each other but their independence is more apparent than real, all beings are in truth linked consciously to each other like a complex equation. Just as what anyone does impact on others and if you stress others, you also stress yourself (it is impossible to hurt others without hurting yourself, no murderer is filled with undiluted joy after his deed), in the same way reflecting that we may be the infinite points of consciousness that are ultimately linked to each other, like being one facet of an infinite number of facets of a single common super diamond, hence when one person changes his consciousness status, all others like secretly subconsciously linked dominos are forced to follow suit.

Why The Consciousness Change Is Significant:
Human life throughout the ages was in truth an unending suffering where nobody was truly happy but they were all wickedly faking it leading each other on. Everyone was acting, forced by mental shackles to act, putting up with each other and never being themselves. This consciousness change that nobody could imagine in their wildest dreams to exist allowed a significant reduction of the stress and torment to all beings and that I subsequently develop an effortless incapacity to experience suffering, an effortless incapacity to worry without having to force myself not to worry, indicates that this unique change I had stumbled upon is wholesome and beneficent and lent proof that what the Buddha and Jesus said that a heavenly state does exist that is effortlessly free from all forms of suffering, hunger, disease and death. Suffering is not the natural accompaniment of existence but suffering is the natural accompaniment of sin and falsity. This change that led to a wonderful effortless peace in me is an indication that it is possible to exist in unalloyed bliss and what the Buddha and Jesus said is true.

Hell is said to be unimaginable everlasting suffering and heaven everlasting bliss and freedom from suffering that must be effortless, not needing effort, otherwise it would not be unalloyed bliss. The core of the Buddha’s teachings, as he himself said, was stress and the total ending of stress (heaven is infinitely better than human existence but enlightenment is even better than heaven, even better than existing blissfully as brahmas, according to the Buddha), indicating that it is possible to make a permanent end to stress and stress is not inevitable, not something that had to be contended with always but stress is always blameworthy, due to sin. Hence, the fact that this consciousness change alleviated the suffering of all, depending on how they continued to abuse themselves and in one case (me), it led to the effortless incapacity to suffer for awhile suggests that this change is significant, wholesome, in the direction of heaven, not hell which is increasing suffering. Is it a mere coincidence that the person who triggered this benevolent change is also intelligent and honorable, not evil man?


Why I regained the capacity to mentally suffer:
I have wondered what happened when I became ‘totally calm’ and ‘incapable of suffering’ in 1978 (with a lesser recurrence years later and probably minor threatened ones subsequently) and how it was that I subsequently was able to resume experiencing stress ‘like everyone else’. It was a tumultuous time then because of the topsy-turvy barrage I was subjected to. What may have happened was a novel state in which I became effortlessly incapable of stressing myself, became effortlessly incapable of inducing sadness and anxiety in myself but I was still receptive to some degree to exogenous stress.

Like a capacitor storing charge, the lifelong internally stored charge or internally generated virtual capacity for stress or self harm in me independent of external input was being slowly discharged like a tap that has now been turned open after I initiated the irrevocable mental change. When the stored charges were finally exhausted, I experienced a novel effortlessly ‘charge free’ or stress-free state. Where previously I had to constantly exert myself to force back dark internal forces suppressing me, now these forces finally gave way and I was left unfettered, not needing to fight anymore to assert my not going against self, hence this wonderful ‘incapable of suffering’ state.

I sensed this change in me clearly, unmistakably, it was something I had never experienced before or thought possible that anyone can be so effortlessly relaxed without a worry, incapable of worrying without having to force myself (as in the past) not to worry and I knew I could not hide this state from view because it was reflected in my appearance and how I conducted myself. It occurred to me to wonder how I would be accepted by others in my clearly changed state but I was powerless to alter my state. It was this clearly visible state of my being that people could perceive and had never seen before that provoked them to become flustered, startled, filled with hate or display violent reactions not unlike someone who had seen a ghost. In so doing, I suspected that they were all individually seized compulsively to violently attack their own repressive mental shackles, like chicks breaking surrounding shells they previously confined themselves to but now that they have seen someone break through, they could not restrain themselves from also breaking free.

The reason why subsequently I recovered my capacity to experience stress and thence sadness may be the result of conditioning. Just as parents may initially force a child to stress itself to greet others and it will subsequently internalize the punitive force previously applied to it to stressfully greet others without being told to; similarly as a result of the constant stress inducing, self doubting and forceful nasty reactions from others that I experienced, I gradually regained the capacity to force myself to suffer, to therefore feel stress and conflict.

But my capacity to feel stress or stress myself after I changed was nevertheless in all likelihood shallow (and qualitatively different from pre 1977) in comparison with ordinary people and therefore quite easily reversed and this may explain why years later I experienced another milder involuntary state of being again effortlessly unable to suffer that because of changed consciousness state experienced by everyone already in place, triggered less disrupting reactions.
Further, the stress that I experienced after I regained the capacity to experience stress may be qualitatively different, more immediate, direct and sharper than in the days before 1977.

LOOKING BACK AT THE TUMULTUOUS TIMES IN 1978 (AND ANOTHER LESSER PERIOD IN 19865), IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, I HAD INDEED INVOLUNTARILY ENTERED A STATE OF MIND & BODY LIKE A TRANCE WHEN I WAS THEN TRULY WONDERFULLY, EFFORTLESSLY TOTALLY CALM & CLEAR, INCAPABLE OF OR IMMUNE TO SUFFERING OR WORRYING EITHER INTERNALLY GENERATED BY SELF OR EXTERNAL INTENSE AGGRESSIVE PROVOCATION BUT SUBSEQUENTLY OVER TIME, I GRADUALLY DEVELOPED A CAPACITY TO EXPERIENCE STRESS AGAIN THAT BECAME QUITE STRONG & PERVASIVE THAT MEMORIES OF THOSE EFFORTLESSLY RELAXED TIMES FADED AND I WAS NOT TOO KEEN TO REVISIT BECAUSE IT MADE LIFE DIFFICULTY CARRYING ON RELATING WITH OTHERS IN THIS WORLD. JUST AS PROFESSIONAL TENNIS PLAYERS FORGET THERE WAS A TIME WHEN THEY WERE HESITANT NOVICES, AS MY CAPACITY TO EXPERIENCE STRESS STRENGTHENED AND BECAME PERVASIVE BECAUSE OF GRADUAL CONDITIONING FROM CEASELESS INTIMIDATION BY OTHERS, I FORGOT THERE WAS A TIME I WAS MIRACULOUSLY IMMUNE TO STRESS, I COULD NOT BE STRESSED (AND THIS MAY BE A FORETASTE OF WHAT LIFE CAN BE WONDERFULLY LIKE IN HEAVEN).

THE REASON WHY I SHOULD EXPERIENCE THIS STATE OF IMMUNITY TO SUFFERING WAS BECAUSE AFTER THE INITIAL CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE, I WAS, UNKNOWN TO ME THEN, CONSTANTLY FORCEFULLY ERASING THE FORCE OF FORCEFULLY AGAINST MYSELF IN MY MIND AND BECAUSE THIS FORCE IS FINITE (NOTHING IS FOREVER, NOBODY IS IN HELL FOREVER EVEN IF IT LASTS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS) , A TIME ARRIVED LATER WHEN THIS MENTAL FORCE FINALLY COLLAPSED AND I ENDED UP WITH UNOPPOSED EFFORTLESSLY RELAXED NOT GOING AGAINST SELF, A STATE THAT THOUGH IT PROVOKED VIOLENT, EVEN LIFE THREATENING REACTIONS FROM MANY AROUND EVERYWHERE I WENT, I WAS HELPLESS TO EXIT BECAUSE NOBODY IN HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD EAGERLY ABANDON TRUE HAPPINESS TO ENTER SUFFERING BUT HE HAS TO BE RELUCTANTLY CAJOLED OR INTIMIDATED TO LEARN TO GO AGAINST HIMSELF AGAINST SELF RESISTANCE BY OTHERS, TO SAY GOODBYE TO NON SUFFERING AND ENTER SUFFERING PROGRESSIVELY OVER A PERIOD OF TIME.

AS A RESULT OF CONSTANT INTIMIDATION BY OTHERS AND IN ORDER TO FURTHER MY CAREER AND GET ON WITH LIFE, I PROBABLY WITHOUT INSIGHT THEN IMPERCEPTIBLY, GRADUALLY RESUMED AMATEUR ACTING BY APPLYING INITIALLY SLIGHTLY GREATER FORCE THAN IS NECESSARY TO GO AGAINST MYSELF TO EXAGGERATE AND FAKE LIKE THE REST THEREBY INDUCING STRESS AND EMOTIONS (SHAME THENCE PRIDE, STUBBORNNESS, ANGER, HATE OF SELF AND OTHERS) AND IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THINGS THAT STRESS AND EMOTIONS KEEPS THE MIND DISTRACTED & SCATTERED, A STATE CONDUCIVE TO FURTHER AND ESCALATION ACTING IN CYCLES OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK UNTIL THE PERSON HAS FORGOTTEN THERE WAS A TIME HE DIDN’T ACT, HE WASN’T STRESSED AT ALL. HE COMES TO ACCEPT STRESS AS NATURAL AND BLAMELESS.

THE REASON WHY IN 1986 I REVISITED IN MILDER FORM THAT SAME STATE OF BEING TOTALLY RELAXED BUT DISRUPTING MY LIFE WAS THAT UNLIKE OTHERS, I HAD TASTED BLISS AND MY ACTING WAS SHALLOW, FORCED ON ME AND MY SPIRIT WAS NEVER COMPLETELY BROKEN BUT EVEN AS I LEARNT TO GO AGAINST MYSELF RELUCTANTLY, I WAS OPPOSING IT QUITE VOCIFEROUSLY AND INEVITABLY MY FORCE OF NOT GOING AGAINST SELF REASSERTED ITSELF TO AGAIN EXPEL THE FORCE OF GOING AGAINST SELF AND I WAS AGAIN LEFT WITH A STATE OF UNOPPOSED NOT GOING AGAINST SELF. THE REACTION AROUND THEN WAS LESS DRAMATIC BECAUSE THE WORLD HAD THEN CHANGED ALREADY.

IN THOSE DAYS, I LACKED INSIGHT PRECISELY WHY THESE WONDERFULLY RELAXED BUT DISRUPTIVE STATES KEPT OCCURING IN ME AND NOT IN ANYBODY ELSE, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE, WHY CAN’T I BE LIKE THE REST AND ‘SUFFER QUIETLY’? NOW, HAVING DISCERNED COMPLETELY INTO THE NATURE OF ACTING AND HOW IT AFFLICTS NOT JUST SOME BUT ALL BEINGS IN THIS WORLD, I UNDERSTAND THE CHANGES THAT HAPPENED TO ME THEN, WHY I BECAME ‘COMPLETELY CALMED’, REGAINED MY CAPACITY TO EXPERIENCE STRESS, LAPSED INTO CALMNESS AGAIN, WHY PEOPLE REACTED VIOLENTLY THEN AND HOW EVEN TODAY, I CAN SENSE FROM THE REACTION OF SOME TO MY PRESENCE THAT THOUGH THEY MAY NOT KNOW EXACTLY WHAT, THEY SENSE A DIFFERENCE IN ME THAT OFTEN PROVOKED AVERSION OR UNEASINESS THAT THEY TRY TO HIDE, EVEN VIOLENT SPITEFULNESS. EVEN STEEPED IN THEIR OPAQUE DELUSIONS & MURKY VISIONS THEY CAN SENSE SOMEONE WHO APPEARS AND BEHAVES DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSITE THEIR PRETENTIOUS CREDO & THAT INVOLUNTARILY STIRs THEIR VISCERAL REVULSION.

(SUCH STATES OF BEING EFFORTLESSLY RELAXED NEVER BEFELL OTHERS EVEN AFTER DECADES LATER, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, PROBABLY BECAUSE MUCH AS ORDINARY PEOPLE MIGHT LIKE TO PROTEST INDIGNANTLY, THEIR INTRINSIC NATURES {I HAVE AMPLE EVIDENCE OF THIS BECAUSE TILL THIS DAY ORDINARY PEOPLE, INCLUDING THOSE WHO THINK THEY ARE GOOD ALL CONTINUE TO STRESSFULLY ACT, EVEN AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD} IS TO BE TOUGH, UNYIELDING, EMOTIONAL, THEY HARBOR IMPLACABLE ILL WILL THAT THEY OFTEN DISGUISE AS ACTED PRETENTIOUS EXAGGERATED GOODWILL, THEY ARE INCORRIGIBLY GIVEN TO MISCHIEF AND THEY CAN NEVER BE TRUE TO THEMSELVES AND THEREFORE OTHERS AND THEREFORE, THOUGH CONSCIOUSNESS CONSTRAINTS WERE SIMILARLY LIFTED FROM THEM, THEY WERE HELLBENT TO CONTINUE THEIR MISCHIEF THAT IS INIMICAL TO BECOMING EFFORTLESSLY RELAXED)

Piecing It All Together:
In those days when I first experienced this consciousness change, I knew I had changed in an unmistakable, revolutionary and wonderful way, I could see everybody too were changing and I knew I was responsible for this change although nobody, including scientists who imply they can detect infinitesimally minute changes in whatever they studied and whose job is to be discerning and examine all phenomena, seem totally unaware of or dumbstruct about this unmistakable consciousness change that surely they (and everyone) felt occur in them but for some reason (like ostriches sticking their heads in the sand) they appeared not inquisitive or not keen to discuss with each other what is going on. How come scientists or religious people never confront each other, “I sense this wonderful consciousness change in me making me more direct and assertive, do you similarly experience this change? What is going on?” It is perhaps a reflection or indictment of the uniform intense pretense of humanity that they have all been dumbstruck, at loss of how to articulate or confront each other over this change, preferring to ignore it whilst they wax eloquent about technology and hypertechnology.

But I lacked insight then to piece together exactly what happened and what it all meant as I now do. I did not or could not then see others acting, how they acted and how acting was linked to unnecessary stress, and sinful as I now do.

In the subsequent decades that followed, as result of the visual and aural assaults I was subjected to and reflecting the nature of stress that it can be induced in anyone even if he started off with a clean sheet or slate, and whatever that can be induced in a person can gain strength or intensity the more he experienced it, I gradually developed a substantial capacity to experience or become stressed leading in due course to restlessness, conflict, harboring mad, silly or violent thoughts and becoming depressed occasionally (though never as severe as in those days before 1977). Although life was unsatisfactory and I felt harassed, ‘hot under the collar’ from demands of my job and lifestyle and needed daily almost obsessive visits to hit tennis or golf balls to ‘let off steam’ after which I felt a bit better for awhile before the shroud of stress and restlessness would creep back in as I returned to the grind of making a living.

I was never a good smiler. I was always nervous, even painfully so in the presence of people I was unfamiliar with, especially those authoritarian and intimidating types. I found it a great difficulty to graciously say goodbye to others when departing whereas I saw so many people able to slickly say their farewells with aplomb. In the days before 1977, I always struggled to smile, only managed brief wry smiles that often provoked disconcerting twitches to please others and even after I changed to become assertive, I was never a notable smiler, having been told by girls at places I worked as locum that ‘this doctor seldom smiled’.
Hence when I became quite stressed out (perhaps still much less stressed compared to goats) and disenchanted and in the age of the internet, guided as if by an unseen force, I downloaded the entire Buddhist Pali Canon that was free online and began to read with a critical eye whether the Buddha was genuine or a fake. I had previously be drawn to Buddhism because of my troubles getting on with others pre 1977 but abandoned religion after I changed because I felt they did not help me. Actually the Buddhism I was exposed to in those days were an very different brand and seriously corrupted form of Buddhism as compared to the Pali Canon which is said to be a faithful transmission of what the Buddha said. It is debatable if my outlook would have been different had I read the pali Canon before 1977 but I suspect that I would have never been satisfied with my suffering lot before 1977 no matter what scriptures I read and only that miraculous consciousness change in 1977 could assuage my troubled, conflicted mind. I was never a partisan person who jumps to conclusions but I was always open with a critical eye to appraise whatever was presented to me. I tried meditating and initially it was a struggle. I remembered in the early days when I experienced substantial stress and restlessness from work demands that I tried to shrug off by meditating, I found myself struggling just to keep still and not get up. Often before long I would lie down to sleep. It is a far cry today when consciousness state even when I speak with casual acquaintances is unruffled during and afterwards and whatever shallow stress or restlessness I experience nowadays will swiftly disappear almost as soon as I begin to meditate and as my (effortless) calm concentration deepened even annoying background noises (eg recently the squeaking of the rotating ceiling fan intruded) faded into the background (I could still hear the creaking fan but as my consciousness state was elevated, it sounded remote and did not irritate me anymore)

Working Out What Acting Is All About:
Disenchanted with my financially remunerative but stressful life I began to pay attention to the stress I experienced daily (instead of paying attention to making money or the stock exchange until today Ihave no interest in ‘investing’) because I was always intolerant of stress and it gradually dawned on me vaguley that people were not being themselves but being stressfully sugar laced poisonously nice to each other, not good. I discovered smiling created stress in me and was not natural but forced or fabricated to be nice to others and if I stopped smiling in my many daily transactions, I experienced tangible reduction in stress.

This ability to discern that smiling induces stress is not universal or a ‘no brainer’ because I have just spoken to a female patient with hypertension who smiled frequently and insisted that smiling is beneficial, it relieves stress. If I am correct, it indicates how deluded or undiscerning she is to believe what is extremely stressful, smiling is an antidote to stress.

In the early days I thought some smiles were genuine reflecting true joy (I was probably fooled by sentiment that the gorgeous smiles of some, especially attractive females, were genuine when they are gorgeous, convincing well practiced fakes) whilst others were stressfully faked to please or impress others.

I felt some people were being genuine in their relations with others whilst others were putting on a show. I accused some people, including my brother of falsely acting, not being himself whilst I upheld others as not acting. However, as my insight improved, I realized that whilst indeed my brother was acting, it was not only some people who were acting but everyone was in fact acting, even so called good people eg Mandela or Mahtma Gandhi. Iit was not only some smiles are faked but all smiles as expressed by ordinary people are never passive but in truth forceful faked, forcefully directed at others to deceive, please or impress; gorgeous smiles are smiles that have been honed to perfection like the professional tennis player’s ‘awesome’ serves to impress.

My ability to see exactly how each person acted, why I said they were acting and not being themselves improved gradually until today I can see instantly and infallibly without difficulty how each person acts and what their probable underlying intentions in acting are.

There was a time I thought only feckless humans falsely acted, animals had no reasons to act and were being themselves but again as my discernment improved, I saw that animals too, reflecting what the Buddha said we can all be born animals, were also good actors who stressed themselves (not that they can help themselves otherwise) to exaggerate and fake in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, dominating and intimidating other animals.

As time passed and my mind became increasingly steadied by meditation, I began to increasingly see and therefore define how everyone acted in speech and actions by what & how they did or said things, how they are constant, never intermittent actors. I discerned how people were (unnecessarily) forcefully stretching their syllables with every word (sibilance is subtly stretching the ‘s’ in pronunciation) they spoke creating significant stress for themselves and listeners who have to bear their forcefully stretched syllables. As I focused on the mechanics of people’s speech, I discovered how people were unnecessarily longwinded, how they mindlessly uttered in repetition “sure, sure, sure” or “Ya! Ya! Ya!” that stressed themselves and was a pain on the ear, not pleasing. I began to realize that the reason why a lot of people’s speech sounded harsh was because it was not only both loud and fast but it was explosive. It is not so much the loudness and rapidity of their speech that made it harsh but it was the rapid acceleration and thence deceleration of loudness and speed within a sentence that marked them as harsh, stabbing or explosive.

Thus it was that allied to regular meditation and reading scriptures, I gradually gained full insight into the entire nature of acting and discovered how it afflicted not some but all beings, not only involved their speech and deeds but their perceptions and thoughts and acting is the root of all unnecessary self generated stress that led infallible to conflict, restlessness, mad/violent thoughts and depression.
Sheer Coincidences?
If you agree or can perceive that there was an extra ordinary consciousness change that benefited you sometime after 1977 and there were further changes in recent years, then:

Considering that for one who discerns correctly, acting is always tormenting, stressful and sinful and non acting the opposite, why is it that even though continuing consciousness changes since 1977 permit anyone to stop stressful sinful acting, no one that I can discern everywhere in the world has spontaneously stopped their sinful and stressful acting? Instead, even those who believe they are quite good and intelligent, even those who have heard what I have said many times, who rub shoulders with me daily, continue to somnolently act, cannot see that the way they say or do things is forceful, is stressful to themselves and a pain, not a boon to receive? When I criticized rightly this girl she turned away even before I could finish telling her calmly what I wanted to say and she then angrily rebutted that I was no better than her, not realizing that the usual way she spoke was stabbing, harsh on the ears of anyone and surely creating stress for herself. It is as if she is blind to the fact that the manner she speaks is harmful to herself and others, not beneficial. Yet another acquaintance speaks softly sprinkled with chuckles as if everything is a bit funny or terrible or ‘wow’ or ‘ho, ho, ho’ not realizing that this is acting, being nice and stressful to self and others. Could it reflect their natures that they continue to act and find it difficult if not impossible to see the falsity in acting and put a stop to their manipulative acting?

In contrast the person who first initiated the consciousness change in 1977 was the first and it appears only person to spontaneously become totally and effortlessly relaxed not once but at least twice and he went on to now finally put an end to his own shallow acting and also spontaneously work out in all its details how people act. Could it reflect there may be a fundamental difference in his nature that he is intolerant of stress and by extension intolerant of falsehood with a keener eye for truth?

I did not always accuse others of falsely acting nor did I always see as I see now precisely how people acted. Considering that when I proposed to this reasonably intelligent girl that smiling causes stress, she smiled broadly to insist that smiling does not create stress but is an antidote to stress, it may be no surprise or is it another sheer coincidence that it was subsequently again the same person who changed the world who realized that everyone in this world was not being themselves but they were all falsely forcefully acting and I worked out precisely what acting was, how people acted and how it is linked intimately to their stress, restlessness, violent impulses and depression. They may be correct but it seems a lot of very ‘normal’ people believe the opposite, what is stressful (smiing & stretching syllables) is soothing, eases stresses. How can you teach the blind to see?

Because acting is what people everywhere do ALL the time and it is unnecessary, can be dropped, is stressful, leading to untold torment and sinful (harming others) this discovery about acting by me is of paramount importance because it enables those who understood and applied themselves to meaningfully exit suffering even forever where previously they were detained in endless suffering because their very constant false acting churned up insoluble stress and conflict.

How did it come to pass that the person who first initiated the consciousness change in 1977 is again the first to stumble on this truth about acting? How come it has never dawned on any of the many intelligent and religious people in this world not only today but throughout history that they stressfully, falsely act all the time and that their false acting (exaggerating and faking) is the taproot to all their stresses, conflict, restlessness, mad volitions and depression? People smile and stretch their syllables all the time throughout the ages. How come it never occurred to them that their smiling and stretching syllables create terrible stress that is cumulative leading to restlessness, violent urges and depression?

Even though ordinary people foolishly create unnecessary stress for themselves by acting leading to restlessness, silly, mad and violent impulses and depression, nobody in his right mind would choose to remain in stress, restlessness and depression if they could instead exist in an effortlessly serene, worry free and depression free state. Therefore, if I had stumbled on this consciousness change by chance and not predestiny, given the chance, anyone else could have done it instead, then if that change led me to an effortless, calm and clearly thinking state, how come the same wonderful end point was never reached by ALL the rest after they changed, even till this day, as far as I can tell? Instead they have all remained still tough stubborn forceful actors who do not realize they constantly create unnecessary stress for themselves and others thereby preventing this serene state from arising. If their natures are similar to mine, surely at least some would have become totally relaxed, non acting?

If changing the consciousness state in 1977 was a random or chance occurence, some else could have done it, you do not need to be discerning, articulate or particularly good to do it, it would be yet another sheer coincidence that the same person who initiated it is not only discerning but articulates well his many thoughts that have never before expressed by others before (there are many intelligent people who are poor communicators). He not only elucidated clearly & concisely what acting is about but furthermore, he was conversant in matters of the spirit, able to interpret Buddhist & Christian texts in a way that arguably (or clearly) no other person has done before after the masters departed.

If it was mere coincidence, someone else could have initiated the change in 1977, then considering the billions who exist now and before, statistically it should have been one person who will cause the initial consciousness change, another or many others who will then spontaneously become effortlessly relaxed by exiting stressful acting and yet others will then develop insight into the nature of acting (whilst the rest of mankind will all then tune in and listen with rapt attention as the follow the world series of sports or the Olympics and will all joyfully accept this never before heard gospel about acting with humility and change themselves AS SOON AS POSSIBLE to become permanently happy) and yet others will independently cast light (as never before) on what the Buddha said in an unique insightful way and yet others will glorify Jesus as he said the counselro will by taking what is his and making it known to you.

Not only did I originally benefited people by initiating the consciousness change in 1977 but I believe again in recent years I am again benefiting others either directly through what I say, my conduct & appearance or indirectly through further domino effect consciousness change that may be occuring in tandem with the changes I experienced recently that I see is also occurring to everyone.

Joyous & Joyless Aggression:
The joyous consciousness state that I experienced in 1977 was essentially because of my newfound aggressiveness. When I was quite sure I had changed irrevocably to become assured & fearless, I was not kidding myself I had changed, I knew with quiet assurance it was an unimaginable breakthrough, a consciousness state that nobody before could have experienced, like a form of enlightenment or awakening of the consciousness or blissful permanent, not a temporary release from suffering like from drug or alcohol.

Although I had qualms about being aggressive, about my newfound aggressiveness, I asked myself why is it that even though there are so many aggressive people throughout the ages and now; how come they never stumbled on this joyful quantum consciousness leap? How is it that when I became aggressive, it was as if a door opened in my mind but other aggressive people never experienced the same breakthrough state when they are habitually aggressive? Surely, in all the incidents of aggressions, there must be one instance where they must have tasted this unheard joy and pursuing it, break through mental barriers to discover this state of the mind I discovered? I could not explain why then.

Now I understand why. Although aggression is ultimately stressful and harmful to both self and others, my newfound aggression was directed against the force of going against myself to act weak and dependant. It was directed at being forcefully myself, being true to myself and others and being truly good instead of acting good. This was the reason it was joyous because it was breaking the shackles of falsehood, inhibition, pretense and manipulation of others.

When ordinary people throughout the ages and even today were aggressive, they were lashing out at others, manipulating and harming others and themselves, reinforcing their force of going against themselves in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, intimidating and dominating others which was why they never experienced a joyous release of their consciousness but instead every time they expressed aggression, either physically through speech or deed or mentally, their aggression only strengthened their bonds to suffering that again drove them to lash out hatefully. The more they suffered, the more they lashed out negatively until the way out of their agony is no longer visible.

AGAIN, THAT AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE AGES NEVER ACHIEVED THIS REVOLUNTIONARY JOYOUS PERMANENT BREAKTHROUGH AND TRANSFORMATION OF THEIR CONSCIOUSNESS DESPITE BEING HABITUALLY AGGRESSIVE WHILST I ACHIEVED THIS BREAKTHROUGH THE MOMENT I BECAME AGGRESSIVE SUGGESTS THERE MAY BE SOMETHING UNIQUE IN MY PSYCHE THAT PERMITTED THAT AND THERE MAY BE A FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE IN MY AGGRESSION AS COMPARED TO ALL OTHERS.

The reason I felt joy and changed permanently was because my newfound aggression was directed at countering my internal force of going against myself in me. When I was forceful or aggressive, it was not blind, lashing out force but directed force to forcefully be true according to how I know how to be true (perhaps there is no truth in others, only pretense or acted truth), force directed at being true to myself and others and unknown to me then, I was wearing down the internal force of going against myself until it disappeared and because there was no longer any negative force to oppose, I became effortlessly serene, without restlessness either at rest or in whatever I said or did.

When you are incarcerated by strong forces to go against yourself to act weak, fearful to appease others, you have to use force or aggressiveness to overcome them and because these forces are finite, once exhausted, no force is required not to go against oneself thereby I experienced an effortless calm.

AGGRESIVENESS IS NEVER JUSTIFIED AND IS ONLY AN UNAVOIDABLE EXPEDIENT THAT IS ACCOMPANIED BY JOY IN THE VIRTUOUS AS HE GRAVITATES FROM HIS STRESSFUL EXISTING STATE OF NOT LETTING HIS YES BE YES ONLY (EG STRETCHING SYLLABLES) TO EFFORTLESS FUTURE LETTING HIS YES BE YES ONLY (EG NOT STRETCHING SYLLABLES). AS SOON AS HE ATTAINS THIS NEW SINLESS STATE, NO AGGRESSION IS FURTHER REQUIRED AND HE IS EFFORTLESSLY NOT AGGRESSIVE ANYMORE. HYPOCRITES MAY PREACH TOTAL NON VIOLENCE BUT BECAUSE THEY REMAIN ACTORS, THERE MUST BE REPRESSED AGGRESSION THAT THEY STRUGGLE TO HIDE BUT MUST BE EXPRESSED SOMEHOW INDIRECTLY.

Why Everyone Must Initially Force Themselves Not To Go Against Themselves:
There are a lot of people, even those who call themselves good and intelligent who do not realize they are going against themselves all the time in what & how they say, do, think and perceive things. If you cannot see yourself going against yourself, creating unnecessary stress for yourself, nobody can help you.
If you have reasonable discernment, you can see how you are going against yourself, then you must pay attention (right mindfulness) when you go against yourself (eg watch yourself forcefully stretching your syllables) and then apply force to force yourself not to stretch your syllables, not occasionally but in a concerted effort until a day will arrive when you will finally effortlessly (not need force to) not stretch your syllables because not stretching your syllables is passive, letting your yes be yes only.

Nobody goes against themselves passively but initially, they are forced by others (parents, peers, society) apply force on themselves to go against themselves (eg to act instead of be themselves, to stretch their syllables to be nice). Gradually, they do not have to be forced by others, do not even have to forced by themselves but they are forced by strong emotions (pride, shame, ill will) and stress to helplessly go against themselves. Because they are no longer forcing themselves but forced by their emotions, they become deluded they are being themselves, themselves is doing or saying things forcefully that go against themselves.

It is the universal law that whoever is dwelling in sin (forcefully doing things that go against yourself is sin) must strive, must apply force in a sustained, unrelenting manner, must strive in a sustained manner to efface or wipe off gradually that force of going against themselves in order to exit sin and suffering. Without applying directed force in a sustained manner, you cannot exit acting (eg stretching syllables). If you apply force in a patchy manner, eg force yourself not to stretch syllables three times but allow yourself to involuntarily forcefully stretch your syllables ten times afterwards, you are not dedicated and have actually reinforced rather than reduced your force of going against yourself to stretch syllables.

It does not take force to not stretch your syllables because you are doing nothing by not stretching your syllables but it always takes force and energy to stretch your syllables that in time the habit energy to keep doing so is prodigious. Hence you must persistently, mindfully apply force to exhaust this habit energy to stretch syllables until it is exhausted and you effortlessly not stretch your syllables because no force is required to do nothing.

And when you apply force to stop yourself going against yourself, that aggression is joyful because it reduces your stress but if you apply force or you are forced by emotions to stretch your syllables, that forcefulness is stressful because it hurts you.

This is the reason why I felt joyous being aggressive after I changed because I was joyously applying force to stop myself going against myself whilst everybody else never experienced joy when they were aggressive because their aggressiveness is driven by ill will to persecute others and themselves.

This Would Not Be Possible:
Whilst others may obfuscate or deny or rubbish that there was any significant consciousness change after 1977 or in recent years either because they are deluded, grossly unperceiving or pretentious (lying), there are irrefutable PERMANENT consciousness changes I detect in myself after 1977 and in recent years again.

(If there was a significant change and you deny, rubbish or cannot perceive it, then you are destined in your blindness to return here to suffer again; not necessarily as humans)

If I had not changed after 1977, I would not be writing this, nor will the thoughts I now convey occur in my mind because it was preoccupied by neurotic mundane thoughts. I would instead be still wracked today by insufferable stress, restlessness, conflict, insecurity and silly insoluble irrational worries about coping with meeting people.

In those days I was always tense, always or easily becoming nervous and just the anticipation of meeting others would cause great nervousness that I struggled to contain and not expose in the presence of others and haunted me afterwards. I had a debilitating phobia of greeting people (introducing myself and shaking hands and uttering niceties or formalities) and saying farewells eg saying goodbye to the host and his family after a social dinner. I would twitch and tremble almost uncontrollably on such occasions especially if I was detained by the host in prolonged goodbye chitchat and wondered why I could not be like so many others who seem so confident and not to be troubled by social banter or meeting others.

Nowadays, it is IMPOSSIBLE that I would not be able to stand my own ground in the presence of anyone because I am effortlessly being myself, would not force myself to go against myself to kowtow to smile and say silly nonsense to please others.

Although I believed so then, it was not that there was something wrong with me, I was a social misfit or schizophrenic that I found such apparently simple tasks like meeting others and social banter so nerve wracking but it is because such activities are always intrinsically seriously stressful, even mind bending to ANYONE who indulges but most others are tough enough to fake as if they enjoy what is in truth not harmless, enjoyable small talk but grave stress and sin.

The Buddha said idle chatter and telling lies lead to hell or the animal womb. The reason why I was so nervous then in those situations may be because somehow inside, I knew idle chatter is not harmless but sends one even to hell. I was only consciously forcing myself to be nice to others whereas others have graduated to automatically forced by urges to be nice, an act that will consign them to perdition they do not realize or refuse to believe. I was hesitantly, consciously forcing myself to be nice to others creating tension and nervousness that I became painfully aware and as time progressed, it increasingly undermined my social confidence. Others, even those who call themselves good had no such qualms about uttering niceties they don’t mean or forcefully believe they do mean it, just to get on in life.

Nowadays I do not fear meeting others, those situations involving greeting and bidding goodbye do not make me nervous because I am true to myself, there is no force in me to put on a show for others and when there is no show, there is no nervousness, no show that can break down. When there are no smiles, there are no smiles to break down into twitches.

BEFORE 1977 I FELT LIKE THE MAN ON DEATH ROW WAITING IN GREAT ANXIETY FOR THE HANGMAN TO COME. AFTER 1977, IT WAS LIKE I WAS NOT ONLY MIRACULOUSLY REPRIEVED BUT TRANSPORTED TO A GARDEN OF JOY I NEVER DREAMT POSSIBLE.

How many ordinary people can bring themselves to admit, let alone speak about their inadequacies and insecurities? There may be serious emotional blocks and denial that do not permit them to speak thus and they are kidding themselves if they think they are as devoted to truth as I am. What they do not realize is that this pretense may detain them in this world in the Age to come.

Why The Change Benefited Everyone:
Even though ordinary people constantly go against themselves to create stress or disadvantage for themselves, going against themselves is never without purpose or self benefit but it is ALWAYS intended foolishly for self gain, for short sighted self gratifications. Even though people are evil, feckless, they do not want to suffer anymore than they need to, but because they must be evil, they must continue to suffer.

Hence unless something benefits them, is to their advantage (as Jesus said) people will not change themselves. Unless something clearly benefits them, is instantly recognizable as beneficial, they will not change swiftly en masse.

Why change if you are happy in the state as you are and that change offers you no benefit? That everyone, not just some, swiftly changed themselves after 1977 and again in recent years, without having to see me or listen to what I have said implies they can sense the change in me & others around them and they are seized immediately to forcefully change because they do not want to suffer in their current condition.

I certainly derived unmistakable, previously unimaginable benefits ensuing from the change in 1977 and now in recent years and though it is impossible that ordinary people will experience the full extent of the effortlessly calm and clear mental and bodily state I experience, they are likely or must derive similar but lesser benefit from the changes (why should the same change give me benefit but suffering in all others?) that is only limited by their wickedness in still forcefully going against themselves to manipulate others.

There is collaborating evidence that this is the case because I can see now in retrospect as I couldn’t before 1977 that EVERYONE, not just some were suffering in mind warping fashion before 1977 and they were only putting on a (cruel) show that they were enjoying themselves. Previously I was under the delusion that there were many who enjoyed themselves and were well adjusted whilst I was unhappy and ill adjusted but after the change I could see they were all faking it to get along. There is ample evidence from the lives of celebrities (Marilyn, Elvis, Natalie Wood, James Dean, Brando, Howard Hughes) that behind the scenes they were tormented and quite eager to kill themselves. After the changes, although still suffering, people were visibly more ‘liberated’, less inhibited.

Jesus: Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's will. Even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
If you agree there was a clear consciousness change after 1977 and again in recent years that benefited you (and everyone as I see), and considering that Jesus said above that not one sparrow will fall to the ground without your Father’s will and even the hairs of your head are ALL numbered, is it possible that this global change I triggered in 1977 and again recently, caught your Father by surprise, was an accident or was it in the full knowledge of the Father and even intended for Jesus also said:
Nevertheless I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage (the counselor must DEFINTELY bring you advantage) that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convince the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me; concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more; concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world is judged.
If the initial consciousness change in 1977 was a mere accidental occurrence, it must be a series of sheer coincidences that the person who triggered that change then triggered further changes again recently, he exited sinful, stressful acting not once but three times whilst the rest of humanity have not exited acting, even those who profess to be good and intelligent who have been told in no uncertain terms, he is not only intelligent but articulate, able to work out and present in its entirety what is meant by acting and how people stressfully act and furthermore, he happens to be upright, a man of truth not only conversant in spiritual matters but he has illuminated what the Buddha and Jesus said in a way no man has ever done before or now?
Jesus appeared to hint about a future consciousness change:
"I have yet many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.”
Addendum: Why The Change Benefited Everyone:
Because the consciousness change benefited me, it must also benefit all those who changed in some way and the fact that everyone changed swiftly (though they still acted) reflects the indisputable or undeniable advantage it conferred, otherwise why change and why change so hastily?

Even if ordinary people have never and may never exit acting, they all benefited as a result of the change in 1977 and in recent years by experiencing a reduction the intensity of their acting and a measure of sobriety. It is IMPOSSIBLE that ordinary people could attain the same release of their awareness through goodwill that I experience today because they never abandoned acting but they will ALL have experienced some amelioration from previous levels of stress.

If everyone was happy before the 1977 change, how come everyone turned nasty, were seized to snarl just on sight of me who was not provocative but quietly being my effortlessly calm, changed self in 1978? The fact that everyone I met turned violently nasty after I became totally relaxed in 1978, including those who acted as if they were happy and well adjusted, those who professed to be good, children and pretty girls indicates they were ALL not happy, only FAKING they were happy and well adjusted and when they saw a truly effortlessly happy man, they were ALL jolted convulsively out of their previous lifelong suffering somnolence to tear at their own mental shackles they were previously unaware existed.

I further observed that despite scowling murderously, many of these same people were immediately seized irrepressibly to burst into delighted animated laughter and uninhibited greetings of fellow goats who happened to be around. This suggests they ALL felt better as if liberated after involuntarily displaying their scowling aggression; something extraordinary because nobody feels better after being nasty. This indicates that this display of aggression by others on seeing me is fundamentally different from ALL the past displays of aggression: it brought TRUE joy in their being. I saw that people on seeing me, acted as if they had just seen a ghost or a Martian and were going about with ‘greater sense of purpose’, greater aggression and spontaneity after turning nasty.

THE AGGRESSION THAT PEOPLE DISPLAYED WHEN THEY SAW ME RELAXED IN 1978 WAS FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE AGGRESSION THEY DISPLAYED ALL THEIR LIVES PREVIOUSLY IN THAT IT WAS LIBERATING, EXHILIRATING, BROUGHT JOY IN THEM, EVEN THOUGH THEY CONTINUED TO ACT AFTER THAT AND EVEN TODAY. THE FACT THAT AFTER THE CONSCIOUSNESS SHACKLES WERE REMOVED FOR THEM IN 1978 PERMITTING THEM TO EXIT ACTING AND THEY HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP THEIR URGE TO MANIPULATE EACH OTHER BY ACTING EVEN TILL THESE DAYS, EVEN THOSE WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD CONTINUE TO ACT TODAY AFTER THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD WHILST I EXITED ACTING THREE TIMES SUGGEST THERE IS A FUNDAMENTAL DIFFERENCE IN MY NATURE COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE. AS SIMPLE AS BEING TRUTHFUL AND GOOD, ‘LETTING YOUR YES BE YES ONLY’ MAY APPEAR TO ORDINARY PEOPLE, IT IS BEYOND THEIR KEN TO BE TRULY TRUTHFUL & GOOD. THEY MUST ALWAYS SAY OR DO MORE, THEY MUST IMPRESS OTHERS HOW GOOD THEY ARE, THEY MUST BE DEMONSTRATIVELY, EMOTIONALLY NICE, NOT PASSIVELY GOOD.

Therefore, the reasons why the consciousness change in 1977 benefited everyone are:
1) People do not change themselves unless change benefits them and because everyone changed swiftly by knock on effect, the incentive or benefit for change must be irresistible, like a person forced to live in a putrid lavatory given a glimpse of a world outside without foul smells previously unknown to them.
2) I experience a wonderful release from suffering as a result of the change and even though people have not exited acting like I did, they will still have experienced an appreciably amelioration of their previous suffering by turning down the volume and pace of their acting.
3) The uniformly hate filled agitated reactions I got everywhere, even by people who were supposedly good or happy when they saw me in my serene state suggests that they were held in suffering, not happy and the sight of me stirred uncontrollable violence. Nowadays I am passive, not violent. Anyone with violence in them that can be stirred cannot be truly happy but faking so. Hence the change benefited everyone.
4) There are many anecdotal stories that the rich and famous were in truth tormented to the point of suicide and subsequent to 1977 I could see through the ways people behaved prior to 1977 to see that they were all suffering, no one was genuinely happy but they were all putting on brave faces.
Why I Am Also The Trigger Of Recent Changes:
There have been further, unmistakable consciousness changes in EVERYONE over the past few years even though they still act. It did not strike me immediately but I arrived at this conclusion gradually long after everyone again began when it became increasingly obvious to me that in tandem with permanent positive changes I felt in me, people’s appearances and behavior everywhere too were also changing positively.

Again, I may be or am the trigger behind this. Why is that?

Firstly, there have been further unmistakable changes in myself over the past years (about 1997 onwards) as a result of my improving perception of how the considerable stress I experienced daily is related to my own & others’ behavior impacting on me and how these behaviors were not natural but exaggerated and faked. I began to see that people were acting, not being themselves, they were nice, not good and how niceness was sugar laced poison. I gradually refined and defined for myself and those who received my E Mails what acting is and how people acted until finally I could see that not just some people were acting but everyone was acting, not for some of the time but all the time and how acting was ALWAYS driven by emotions and stress to forcefully go against oneself to exaggerate and fake whatever and how one says, does, thinks and perceives in manner that has to be forcefully controlled (in order not to kill oneself immediately) creating insoluble stress, restlessness, violent urges and depression in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, intimidating and dominating others. As a result of my insights which I mindfully and persistently put into clearly comprehending practice I gradually stopped acting to experience a drastic reduction in intrinsic stress, restlessness, doubt and uncertainty, mad and violent impulses and depression. These changes in me is visible to those who interact with me and must have rubbed off partially on them and it also must have influenced those who read my innumerable E Mails.

It did not occur to me immediately but it gradually dawned on me with increasing certainty after repeated verifications that visible by their appearances and behavior, everyone (not just some) was again changing just as they did after 1977, not just locally but globally, even though they still continue to act. (I berated my brother for acting but gradually I could see that though he was still acting, there were perceptibly changes in his appearance and behavior)

Those who have read what I wrote over the years may acknowledge that they have changed as a result of reading what I wrote. In that case, I am DIRECTLY responsible for causing their change. The changes that are evident to themselves will also be reflected in their appearances and how they comport themselves to those who interact with them and therefore influence them indirectly.

Hence, even though the vast majority of people have not seen me, have not read what I have said, by contagion effect as after 1977, they have all been transformed permanently to become more subdued, more direct today, even though they still act and may have no clue why they are changing because they are changing because everyone around has changed in a way that would be clearly advantageous to them, so they too changed themselves hastily.

Hence, today as in 1977 I was the trigger of changes that have spread around the world because I changed myself unmistakably first, I then influenced others by what I wrote about acting and many other things and by knock on or contagion effect of people changed by me changing others.


How Babble Can Lead To Intense Pretense:
You must have heard children suddenly breaking out into loud, explosive meaningless self addressed babble thus, “Arr Gaa Gaa Gaa Harr! Arr, Arr, Arr Gahhh! Arr, Arr, Arr Gahh!” endlessly until they regain a sense of control. Babbling is essentially similar in nature to adult forceful grunts, spitting and coughs. It is a form of involuntary, unintended or mad acting.

Such babble is usually if not always involuntary, driven by warping mental tension and is a form of lashing out. Not only are they driven involuntarily by mad, violent internal urges, they are not harmless but instaed whenever children break out into forceful babble, they are reinforcing that mad urge to repeat in the future that in time may become more easily aroused and intense.
The pathology of babbling may be more complex than indifferent self absorbed observers think. For instance, they may be initially driven by uncontrollable impulse to lash out to babble but they then may become aware that what they are doing is shameful loss of control, what they babble is nonsense and they then start to pretend (to themselves and others) that they did not break out into nonsensical babble unintentionally but they did it intentionally to practice vocalization and therefore have graduated to fostering a charade by defiantly continuing to babble longer than the urge has lasted to insist they intended it and it isn’t nonsense. They do not realize they are foolishly cultivating their ability to pretend so that in future it will be more difficult and finally even impossible for them to admit the truth of what they do eg they broke out in babble because they lost control and their babble is indeed pure nonsense. To believe what is false (that you babbled to practice vocalization, their babble is not nonsense) is true is dicing with madness when one day you will finally truly believe what you forced yourself to falsely believe becomes madly true.

If you asked any child whether his babble is nonsense or whether he suffered momentary madness and he is likely to deny and insist it is not nonsense, he did not lose control of himself to babble but instead he will find some excuse like he is ‘enjoying himself’ or practicing vocalization.
Many people do not realize they are cultivating pretense all the time and how this will redound on them even with madness later.

They smile when someone say something sarcastic or hurt them to pretend they are happy or unperturbed when they are hurt. (Ask them if they are hurt and often if not always they will insist ‘no worries!’)

They pretend to look at something eg they pick up a magazine to pretend they did not see someone.

They pretend to be diligently working as soon as they spy their boss enter.

They pretend to be friendly and anxiously concerned by smiling and speaking in an anxious manner when they do not feel anything.

Every time anyone pretends something, he is not just rendering an inconsequential act but reinforcing his forceful pretense and perfecting his art of pretense so that his pretense will gradually become more intense, more irresistible and more real. In time to come, he may lose control of his pretense, eg pretending when there is no need to stress himself to pretend or because he forces himself to believe what he pretended is not pretended, his reality testing may be ultimately stretched to break point and they finally truly believe what they pretended so well so often for so long is really true.