Why I Am Also The Trigger Of Recent Changes:

Why I Am Also The Trigger Of Recent Changes:
(The recent consciousness change is essentially about a permanent mandatory quantum reduction in endogenous generated stress in everyone due to a reduction in a combination of behavioral & mental changes as if awakening as a result of a domino reaction to perceived changes in others, even in those who are clueless why everybody and they themselves are changing. Seeing how people everywhere continue to act, clueless that they act even after recent changes, even those who call themselves good and discerning, even after they have been told in no uncertain terms, it is unlikely if not impossible that ordinary people could have triggered this recent consciousness change. If this recent consciousness change is about a reduction, not cessation of going against themselves in the vast majority of people, they have only attenuated their acting when it is possible to completely stop going against self that I alone have achieved, it is unlikely if not IMPOSSIBLE that anyone else could have triggered this recent consciousness change. If it is possible to put to a total end tormenting acting but people everywhere have only achieved a quantum reduction in their acting they never dreamt was possible or existed, it was as if another consciousness door hitherto closed has been opened for them, how can anyone amongst them who still now act be responsible for triggering the change but instead they were unwitting passengers sucked in by the changes surrounding them?)

There have in my perception been further unmistakable consciousness changes over the past few years in EVERYONE that I believe benefited them, even though they still act somnolently.

I perceived that I myself was changing in an extraordinary way to become more serene since about 1997 but I could not see that everyone was also changing until much later in 2002 when it became increasingly obvious to me that people’s appearances and behavior everywhere suggests that everyone, including evil ones, too were also changing. In likelihood the changes involving others started much later, probably after 2000.

Again, I may be or am the trigger behind this.

(In retrospect, the second involuntary relapse of being ‘totally incapable of suffering’ I ‘inexplicably’ experienced shortly after I arrived in Sydney in 1985 may not be inexplicable but it may be linked to a period of severe stress I had been subjected to in terms of workload and a heart rending decision to resign my job in Kuantan Hospital, leave a family I was boarding with who treated me with uncommon fondness and my own family to go to Sydney to take up a hard to come by job offer. I arrived in Sydney with a heavy heart and thought it might take me a while to shed my grief but mysteriously, to my consternation, the heaviness of heart disappeared like fog before dawn and I found myself totally incapable of worrying that whilst wonderful, again made life relating with others trying if not near impossible.
It may be my nature after I changed in 1977 that may be unique compared to others that whenever I am challenged by mounting stress or falsity and hence suffering, my reaction was not to submit meekly but my aggression was automatically aroused to confront and neutralize these torments and in that process, I unwittingly started a process of wearing down the shackles of going against myself in me till they eventually gave way resulting in my being effortlessly calm contrary to my own expectation that I would continue to grieve over my recent losses. In comparison, whenever other people faced stress, their aggression was joyless aggression aimed at either gritting their teeth to be passively aggressive or to lash out directly or indirectly at others and themselves that created more stress holding them further in acting and ensured they never experienced ultimate effortless release from stress. My reaction to stress is always forceful goodwill because it is my nature to reject suffering but others’ reaction to stress is either indirect camouflaged or direct undisguised ill will because it is their nature to be tough, to suffer or accept suffering and make others suffer that only maintained them in sinful acting.
BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE’S UNIVERSAL RESPONSE TO STRESS IS TO BEAR IT ‘STOICALLY’ WHICH IS SINFUL, NOT GOOD OR TOUGH IT OUT THEY CAN NEVER HAVE INITIATED THIS RECENT CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE. BECAUSE MY RESPONSE TO RISING STRESS IS TO ATTACK MY INTERNAL FORCE OF GOING AGAINST MYSELF TO MEANINGFULLY RESOLVE MY STRESS, IT IS INEVITABLE THAT I WOULD SET OUT ON A PATH THAT WOULD LEAD ULTIMATELY TO EFFORTLESSLY NOT GOING AGAINST MYSELF AND THUS CAUSING THIS CURRENT CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE THAT AGAIN AFFECTED EVERYONE AS I DID IN 1977.

In the same way, the consciousness changes in me recently that in truth spilled over to affect all others may be in response to mounting stress I was again subjected to in 1977, in particular the turmoil related to the East Asian Economic Crisis that upset me a lot, obsessed me because desperate times demanded desperate measures and I perceived many incidences of openly and outrageously wanton or crass lying, deceit, corruption and injustice.)

The Influence Of The East Asian Economic Crisis:
I did not start changing in response to anybody else I saw changing but the tumultuous or cataclysmic, even astoundingly openly criminal events of the 1997 East Asian Economic Crisis (that bear comparison with Bush’s current travails regarding the Iraq War & WMD) probably provided an important impetus because I was absorbed in and emotionally outraged by the gripping events that saw Asian stock markets and currencies tumble precipitously, events that may have been aggravated by Dr M’s ill advised tirades against currency speculators and Soros when there was much evidence of malignant construction & consumption bubbles all over East Asia financed by foolish excessive overseas borrowing that were abetted by foreign bankers who were less foolish than recklessly self serving in wanting to make money for their banks and themselves by lending recklessly and didn’t cared what the money was used for or whether they could recover it. If it was their money they were lending, not other people’s money, they may be more cautious. If fund managers were investing their own money instead of other people’s money, the stock market globally and the US in particular may not be as high and stubbornly high as it is.

Malaysia then was home to 24 hours a day nonstop construction all over the country, including small country towns, using (or exploiting) foreign workers to build all kinds of residential, commercial and industrial properties on a mind boggling malignant scale beyond realistic demand that included the KL International Airport, the tallest building in the world, the ambitious Bakun Dam and the multi billion Putra Jaya, the new national capital. In the aftermath of the crash, there were riots in Indonesia with loss of life targeted at the Chinese and toppled Suharto; the situation in Malaysia was tense with the dramatic sacking and then arrest on controversial charges of Anwar, Malaysia’s former deputy PM, his beating in custody that is impossible to justify and the subsequent trial drew many protests and a heavy handed, even brutal police response.

I took a keen interest in events, subscribed to foreign magazines and newspapers and listening avidly to BBC radio news to bypass the muzzled local press and was repeatedly outraged to read of shenanigans perpetrated on the stock exchange together with unorthodox economic and political measures that were clearly self serving. I was obsessed and would take every opportunity to discuss with patients and friends the truths I perceived behind the crisis. That I was emotionally aroused was reflected by the fact I even bought a small photocopy machine to photocopy foreign news stories and newspapers clippings that I compiled with heavily underlined passages to emphasize relevant information that I passed to my patients and friends who would read. Although I did not go in I also went to Anwar’s house to have a look around at the tense time after he was suddenly sacked.

I remembered in those days, beset by insoluble stresses from disgust at the national political and social situation and job demands, I found it indispensable to spend an hour daily at the driving range or the tennis wall alone to let off steam. Whenever I was aggressive, I felt much better but soon pressures from worries and patient demands meant stresses rapidly re-engulfed me. Comparing with others around, I felt that the way I played tennis or hit golf ball was exhilarating joy but there seemed no joy but only mean cold competitive aggression in others. I could never generate the same venomous swish and loud impacts as others. The reason that there was joy in my tennis and golf aggression even though I was also acting then was because it was directed at the forces of stress within me, at the forces of myself going against myself to exhaust it. The reason why sports in others seem soulless and a pain to watch was because ordinary people were constantly driven by stress to attack their balls to derive a sadistic satisfaction from successful persecutory aggression, the emotional pride of showing off to others they think might be watching or even to impress themselves and by inflicting displaced surrogate punishment on the balls. Those who are timid (timidity and feeling weak is always a learnt or acted condition, existing under suffering to appease others) may also derive some satisfaction recreating but even when they hit the balls they are full of inhibition and diffidence (self conscious) that they are not OK, they always hit the balls feeling not quite OK or people are laughing at their incompetence or clumsiness which is again why no matter how much they practiced their aggression in sports, they never achieved a gradual erosion of their forces of going against themselves. (This is another indicator why others cannot have triggered the recent change because whilst my forcefulness was wearing down my shackles, ordinary people’s forcefulness are driven by ill will or not OK feelings that maintained or even strengthened their status quo)

What I did not realize then is that this climactic concatenation of stress impacting on me rousing my emotional outrage at injustice and foul play plus workload was again stoking my joyous aggression above its hibernating levels to resume forcefully going against my internal going against myself that would end again in my stopping acting, this time with full insight and a more receptive audience in others who, unknown to me, were also changing in a domino effect.

This was a time when there was rising awareness in me that people everywhere were being stressfully nice, not good to each other and how niceness is sugar laced poison. (I foolishly thought then that people were being themselves when they were alone or with loved ones, only being nice to casual acquaintances.) An avid albeit stressed listener of BBC radio to follow keenly political events (I still remember religiously following BBC’s nightly “East Asia Today”), I began to realize I felt stressed listening because the way BBC announcers spoke was not music but pain to my ears and I resorted to lowering the volume until finally I dispensed with listening to BBC when the internet was an alternative (subsequently it dawned on me that not only voices but even the manner articles were written made them stressful to read). I began to switch off the sound when I was watching TV and I gave up listening to all music because I felt that the ways they were played and sounded was a pain not music to my ears. I began to minimize greeting others, not speak when there was nothing to speak, I did not greet my family members without harboring resentment but because it was stressful forcing myself to greet for the sake of greeting and found that these measures reduced my stress load. Although I did not know then, these were all dead end or stop gap forceful steps but they were slowly leading towards a future effortless disappearance of step.

(Music, like the way ordinary people speak is always nice sugar laced poison. All ordinary people foolishly disregard the poison in whatever music they like to listen to, to embrace its momentary sweetness that as a result subjected themselves to poison or stress and they become unwitting permanent captives to sugar laced poisonous music because it is addictive. I am always sensitive to stress whenever it arises and therefore sensitive to stress arising when I listen to music and therefore very soon worked out why music is stressful (too much drama, too much suddenly loud, fast and then very slow and soft, too much jazz or showing off beating around the bush) and because I do not possess a strong craving for music’s sweetness, I could stop listening to music where others are helplessly hooked, which then reduced my stress load permitting me to better examine with my appreciably less harassed mind the nature of stress in life, how it is not blameless or not inevitable that led to my discernment about acting and then final exit from acting. Ordinary people stretch their syllables all the time without realizing whenever they speak in order to be charming, nice, pretentious or nasty because they disregard or cannot see the stress it generates, which is why they can never exit stressful stretching of syllables, a form of acting. I am sensitive to the stress that stretching syllables generates which is why I can work to eliminate stretching of syllables. Here is another fundamental difference between me and all others that may indicate why I am the trigger of current changes. It is my ability to detect and thence become averse to the poison that accompanies sweet niceness that enables me to reject and exit niceness whilst ordinary people cannot see, disregard or accept the poison in niceness to foolishly embrace its sweetness which is why unless there is external intervention by someone pointing it out, they will be forever maintained clueless in poisonous niceness.)

I discerned that the considerable stress I experienced then was partly because I was not being myself but I was forcing myself to be nice to others; to smile, to say or do things to impress or please others, to rush and get angry with others in a persecutory way and so I started reining in myself eg reducing smiling in frequency and duration, stop saying or doing things to impress, avoiding unnecessary social interactions, stop greeting others unnecessarily (I refused to indulge in social banter with my neighbors with whom I had nothing in common), controlled my rushing and anger. In other words, I started to force myself in my transactions to be true to myself, even if it upset others that I did not please them. (This is a resolve that ordinary people content with their lot, their usual stresses, their conventionality are likely to make because they believe stress is blameless part and parcel of existence) I was consciously making a renewed resolve with myself to be true always and in keeping with this new resolve, I spoke for the first time in Oct 2001 to others, at risk of ridicule that I was the person who in 1977 triggered a consciousness change that affected everyone.

On the theoretical side, I gradually refined and defined what acting is and how people acted. Initially, I only perceived vaguely that people were falsely being nice, not good to each other. In stages I worked out how niceness involved exaggerating and faking what and also how they said or did, not occasionally but all the time, not some people but all ordinary people were nice whenever they interacted with others. Then I began to discern that acting was an important part of encompassing false acting, how people faked and exaggerated everything and how they said or did to deceive, impress, please, intimidate or dominate others. I began to see clearly in what ways and how people acted (eg smiling, stretching their syllables, laughing, smiling, beat around the bush, saying mindlessly yes, yes, yes instead of yes). I began to see the mechanism behind acting, how acting is always accompanied by excessive force, is forcing oneself to go against oneself in the name of deceiving, impressing, pleasing, intimidating and dominating others. I began to see that acting was driven by emotions (fear, anger, greed, pride) and stress and had to be constantly forcefully, stressfully controlled in order not to overcook oneself and how this led to insoluble conflict (forceful going against self versus forceful restraint) that inevitably led to restlessness, silly, violent and mad thoughts & depression. I saw how an actor must be stubborn (an emotion) because he is constantly forcing himself to go against himself, how he must feel ashamed (because he was prostituting himself) and must displace that with an inordinate pride. I began to see the difference between passive feelings (that can only be pleasant, unpleasant, neither due to sensory inputs and disappears as soon as they stop impinging) and emotions (anger, lust, fear, pride, hate) that are destructive mental forces that lingered generated by acting and drives acting.

And so it was that I could finally see that not just some but everyone was acting, they were all acting not some but all the time and how acting was ALWAYS driven by emotions and stress to forcefully go against oneself to exaggerate and fake whatever and how one says, does, thinks and perceives in a manner that had to be forcefully, stressfully controlled creating insoluble stress, restlessness, violent urges and depression in the name of deceiving, pleasing, impressing, intimidating and dominating others. Because acting was always forceful in going against self, it permanently warps the mind and degraded it so that all actors must suffer headaches, giddy spells, dazes, mental act blocks and are all headed for total mind failure when they will become mad, manic or depressed.

On the practical side, I strove to mindfully or attentively behave in a ‘no nonsense’, matter of fact manner and often after protracted discussions with me, people told me with genuineness “it was nice talking to you”. After downloading and repeatedly reading in its entirety the Pali Canon in 1999, I started to meditate and although it was initially a struggle, like a wild horse who had been broken in, I gradually experienced deepening calm and clarity that I never knew could be developed by merely sitting still in a disciplined manner and the imperturbable serenity derived from meditation spilled over to my daily life so that I could increasingly be serenely unperturbed during and after transactions with others that in the past would have stressed and agitated me. Thus it was that I came to meditate longer and more frequently everyday so much so that I would not feel embarrassed if I adopted the Lotus position in public eg whilst I waited for my car to be serviced.

As a result of my numerous insights regarding acting, my meditation and putting them into practice I experienced increasingly positive changes in my consciousness state that are inevitably reflected in my appearance and behavior. I noticed that people who met me often reacted in a way as if they mildly taken aback, as if I was someone whose manner they were unaccustomed to, many times people expressed genuine pleasure after talking to me, even saluted and bowed facing me on departure as if in reverence. Conversely others were moved to spit venomously at my presence in the street (or even hearing me drive serenely by) perhaps because they saw in me the opposite of what they stood for, they were tormented and jealous seeing someone genuinely serene.

I remembered one occasion when I left a bookstore my path crossed that of a particularly evil looking man and his facial muscles started to convulse violently, he flailed his arm and averted my gaze as if to hide his involuntary emotional incontinence. My companion (sinfully) laughed and thought it was funny. I then proceeded to a KFC outlet nearby and the girl who served me choked back her emotions when she wished me ‘a nice day’ after I had placed and accepted my order in a manner that was unpretentious and did not pester her. As I then sat eating beside a pedestrian walk, a little girl perhaps a few years old, who may have been attracted by my uncommonly unpretentious voice stopped and stood silently besides and below me on my elevated seat, grasping the railing and refused to move even when her mother pleaded gently with her to go. She later quietly relented without making a fuss.

ALLIED TO IRREFUTABLE POSITIVE CHANGES IN MY BEHAVIOR AND MENTAL STATE THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE NORM IN ALL PEOPLE (WHO ARE ALL VARIATIONS ON A COMMON THEME OF ACTING), STARTING PERHAPS FROM 1998 THAT MUST BE REFLECTED IN MY APPEARANCE AND BEHAVIOR AND CONFIRMED BY MY REPEATED OBSERVATIONS OF STARTLED REACTIONS FROM OTHERS IN MY PRESENCE, VARYING FROM GENUINE DELIGHT, REVERENCE TO SPITEFUL REVULSION, I KNEW MY BEHAVIOR IN RECENT YEARS WAS CHANGING IN AN EXTRAORDINARY WAY (AS I INTENDED) AND AGAIN BEING FELT BY OTHERS. WHAT I DID NOT KNOW THEN WAS THAT PEOPLE WERE ALSO CHANGING (THOUGH STILL ACTING TILL THIS DAY), WHETHER AS A RESULTED OF BEING JOLTED BY INTERACTIONS WITH ME OR BY READING THE E MAILS I WAS SENDING.

HENCE I SAY THAT I AM THE TRIGGER OF CURRENT CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGES BECAUSE AS FAR AS I KNOW, NOBODY ELSE TALKED LIKE I DID ABOUT ACTING, DEFINED ACTING AS I DID AND PUT INTO PRACTICE FOR ALL WITH EYES TO SEE WHAT & HOW NON-ACTING IS THAT HAS NEVER BEEN HITHERTO SEEN BY OTHERS. FURTHER, RECIPIENTS OF MY E MAIL MAY AGREE THAT WHAT I WROTE INFLUENCED THEM POSITIVELY TO CHANGE IN AN OUT OF THE ORDINARY WAY. WHAT I DID NOT REALIZE THEN IS THAT THE IMPACT MY APPEARANCE AND BEHAVIOR HAD ON OTHERS WAS NOT TRANSIENT BUT IT JOLTED THEM IN THEIR OWN WAYS TO TRANSFORM THEMSELVES IN A REVOLUTIONARY WAY EVEN THOUGH THEY STILL CONTINUE TO ACT TODAY.

It did not occur to me immediately but it gradually dawned on me with increasing certainty after repeated verification that, visible by their appearances and behavior, everyone (not just some) was again changing just as they did after 1977, not just locally but globally, even though they still continue to act.

Those who have read what I wrote over the years may appreciate or acknowledge that they have been influenced and changed as a result. In that case, I am DIRECTLY responsible for causing their change. The changes in them will also be reflected in their appearances and behavior to those they interact with and therefore trigger further change in others.

Even though the vast majority of people have not seen me, have not read what I have said, by contagion effect as after 1977, they have all become transformed permanently to become more subdued, more direct today, even though they still act and may have no clue why they are changing because they changed in response to advantageous changes they perceived around them.

Because the trend of recent consciousness changes is from former greater acting to a current reduction of acting attended by decreased stress, and I see everybody has changed but they are still acting whilst I have stopped, this is an indication I am foremost amongst others in the series of this change that others may never attain because of discernment or virtue blocks and I am likely to be the initiator of this current change.

IF YOU AGREE THAT THERE WERE BENEFICIAL CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGES AFTER 1977 AND AGAIN NOW, IF YOU AGREE THAT I AM THE TRIGGER OF BOTH THESE CHANGES, BEARING IN MIND THE BILLIONS WHO EXIST, WOULD IT NOT BE A SHEER COINCIDENCE THAT I TRIGGERED BOTH CHANGES OR IS THERE SOMETHING UNIQUE IN MY NATURE IN CONTRAST TO OTHERS THAT CAUSED ME TO BE A TRIGGER ON BOTH OCCASIONS?

IS THERE ANYONE CONTEMPORARY OR THROUGH THE AGES WHO SPOKE WHAT I SAID? IS IT BECAUSE WHAT I WRITE IS NONSENSE OR IS IT THE RATIONAL TRUTH THAT THE WORLD CANNOT ACCEPT, FOR IT NETHER SEES HIM NOR KNOWS HIM?

When Did The Recent Changes Occur?
The recent consciousness changes were probably a progressive awakening by contagion possibly somewhere in late 2001 but probably gaining momentum only in 2002, more recent than I previously estimated.
Checking my computer file archives, my spiritual stirrings & renewed intolerance to stress probably started somewhere after 1998 (I complained I stopped listening to my favorite BBC radio news because newscasters were a pain to my ears). I downloaded the Pali Canon in Oct 1999 and I probably ‘got going’ in spiritual matters after 2000, I first publicly mentioned I changed the world’s consciousness in 1977 in Oct 2001 and hence the renewed global consciousness changes probably did not start until 2001 possibly even only in 2002.

Why Ordinary People Were Not Happy Before 1977:
The fact that everyone including those who previously acted as if they were happy and well adjusted, those who professed to be good, children and pretty girls I met turned violent & nasty after I became totally relaxed in 1978, indicates they were ALL (not just some) only FAKING they were happy and well adjusted and when they finally saw what they had never seen before, a truly effortlessly happy man, they were ALL jolted convulsively to dispense with their masks of pretended amiability and affability, bare their long hidden fangs to tear at their own mental shackles to set themselves free from their tormenting pretense.

If all those people I saw bared their fangs were all as truly happy as I quietly effortlessly was when they saw me, why did they all become convulsed with aggression? A person who is truly happy does not bare his fangs on sight of anything, nothing merely on sight can provoke me to bare fangs because to bare fangs is always to arouse oneself emotionally and to suffer. Only a person existing under duress can be provoked on sight to bare his fangs that he has all along hidden at great cost of stress to himself that he now, provoked cannot restrain any further but is seized to publicly display his hypocritically hidden fangs.

Nevertheless, I further observed that despite just baring their ugly fangs, many of them immediately burst irrepressibly into delighted cheerfulness as if something wonderful had happened to them despite baring their fangs involuntarily and they went on to greet uninhibitedly fellow goats who happened to be around. This suggests they ALL felt better despite just baring their fangs; something that is extraordinary because when people scowl usually, they become upset and feel morose for a period afterwards, NEVER immediately burst into joy. This indicates that this baring of fangs on seeing me is fundamentally different from their usual displays of nastiness: when they bared their fangs at the mere sight of me, they were attacking oppressive mental shackles which was why they experienced joy, not gloom as would be expected.

The nature of the ugly reactions that greeted me:
THE AGGRESSION THAT PEOPLE DISPLAYED WHEN THEY SAW ME RELAXED IN 1978 WAS FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE USUAL AGGRESSION THEY DISPLAYED ALL THEIR LIVES IN THAT IT WAS LIBERATING, EXHILIRATING & BROUGHT JOY IN THEM, SOMETHING THAT IS VERY ODD BECAUSE AGGRESSION IS NEVER ENJOYABLE BUT MORBID.

When your aggressiveness is directed at breaking down shackles that bind you to suffering, falsehood, emotions and persecuting others then it is joyous but if your aggressiveness is directed at persecuting others and thereby yourself, then it is joyless but tormenting. It is because my aggressiveness I discovered in 1977 was directed at shackles that bonded me to suffering and falsehood which was why it was joyous whilst others’ aggressiveness was always intended to persecute others which was why they never experienced joy.
Once I finally exited suffering, there was no further use of my aggressiveness and I was effortlessly calm.
The fact that even today people are still acting and therefore aggressive in a persecutory way reflects the intransigence of their ill will.

Even today, people are aggressive all the time but they never achieved a joyous exit from acting (because I see they are still acting). The reason is because they use their aggression to persecute others and therefore themselves. For example they use their aggression to forcefully stretch their syllables to be falsely nice, nasty, charming, seeing nothing wrong with it when it is stressful to themselves and listeners and they therefore do not experience any joy except faked joy from their aggression but instead they reap stress that drives them to further lash out until they become seized, driven blindly, helplessly to stretch their syllables.

They use their aggression to speak not just loudly and rapidly but explosively with rapidly accelerating and decelerating loudness and speech that persecutes others and themselves, strengthening the stress in themselves that drives them further to speak explosively or harshly. Watch people doing simple daily chores eg washing dishes and they never do them in a soothing manner but they do it with a forceful jerkiness. For instance, they flick a page explosively; they bang a lid loudly repetitively three times mindlessly when a single gentle press on the lid suffices to secure it.

Why Everyone Must Force Themselves Not To Go Against Themselves:
There are a lot of people, even those who call themselves good and intelligent who do not realize they are going against themselves all the time in what & how they say, do, think and perceive things. If you cannot see yourself going against yourself, creating unnecessary stress for yourself, nobody can help you.

If you have reasonable discernment, you can see how you are going against yourself, then in order to change, you must pay attention (right mindfulness) when you go against yourself (eg watch yourself forcefully stretching your syllables) and then apply force to force yourself not to stretch your syllables, not occasionally but in a concerted effort until a day will arrive when you will finally effortlessly (not need force to) not stretch your syllables because not stretching your syllables is passive, does not need force. No force is ever needed to not stretch syllables but you need force initially to counter your forceful urge to stretch syllables until that urge is extinct.

Nobody goes against themselves passively but initially, they are forced by others (parents, peers, society) apply force on themselves to go against themselves (eg to act instead of be themselves, to stretch their syllables to be nice). Gradually, they do not have to be forced by others, do not even have to forced by themselves but they are forced by strong emotions (pride, shame, ill will) and stress to helplessly go against themselves. Because they are no longer forcing themselves but forced by their emotions, they become deluded they are being themselves, themselves is doing or saying things forcefully that go against themselves.

It is the universal law that whoever is dwelling in sin (forcefully doing things that go against yourself is sin) must strive, must apply force in a sustained, unrelenting manner, must strive in a sustained manner to efface or wipe off gradually that force of going against themselves in order to exit sin and suffering. Without applying directed force in a sustained manner, you cannot exit acting (eg stretching syllables). If you apply force in a patchy manner, eg force yourself not to stretch syllables three times but allow yourself to involuntarily forcefully stretch your syllables ten times afterwards, you are not dedicated and have actually reinforced rather than reduced your force of going against yourself to stretch syllables.

It does not take force to not stretch your syllables because you are doing nothing by not stretching your syllables but it always takes force and energy to stretch your syllables that in time the habit energy to keep doing so is prodigious. Hence you must persistently, mindfully apply force to exhaust this habit energy to stretch syllables until it is exhausted and you effortlessly do not stretch your syllables because no force is required to do nothing.

And when you apply force to stop yourself going against yourself, that aggression is joyful because it reduces your stress but if you apply force or you are forced by emotions to stretch your syllables, that forcefulness is stressful because it hurts you.

This is the reason why I felt joyous being aggressive after I changed was because I was joyously applying force to stop myself going against myself whilst everybody else never experienced joy when they were aggressive because their aggressiveness is driven by ill will to persecute others and themselves.

Unless you are already a saint, you must apply directed force or aggression every time you lapse into sadness to extricate yourself from sadness, not by lashing out at others but by secluding yourself and focusing on that sad emotion in your mind to drive it out.
Unless you are a saint, you must apply force, aggression to stop yourself in the midst of your anger to immediately banish the anger such that with each occasion anger arises, you banish it faster until it ceases to arise.

Uninstructed ordinary people experience sadness of all grades in their daily lives that they do eventually manage to shrug off, but usually after a prolonged struggle and in a haphazard or uncertain manner. The reason (apart from their acting generating constant insoluble conflict that leads to despair and then sadness) is that ordinary people have a masochistic fascination with sadness, they think sadness is quite a harmless indulgence, if it is not too intense it can even be masochistically pleasurable when instead sadness is like alcohol, every moment you permit yourself to be detained by sadness, the more intense the sadness you feel, you are reinforcing your future capacity to experience sadness and the wise person will learn to spurn sadness as he would spurn the embrace of Dracula. Hence, when ordinary people are overcome by sadness, they prolong it, they stoke sadness with thoughts, music that enhance the sadness, they think over and over thoughts that maintain their sadness until it becomes unbearable and they then aggressively try to extricate themselves eg go to the gym or call a friend for a chat. In contradistinction, the noble person sees sadness as a viper and he does not welcome sadness in his mind and as soon s he detects sadness seeping in, he gives priority to get rid of it as soon as possible by excusing himself to meditate to calm his mind. He does not entertain thoughts that stoke his sadness.

Similarly when hatred, restlessness, conflict, jealousy, pretense, pride, fear, dazes, stretched syllables, etc arises in you, you must immediately apply force, aggression to drive them out until in future they become extinct.

This is what the Buddha called effacement, forcefully wiping off defilements in your mind until they disappear.

YOU COULD SAY THAT AFTER 1977 AND IN RECENT YEARS, I WAS PERSISTENTLY APPLYING FORCE IN A DISCRIMINATING NOT INDISCRIMINATE WAY TO EFFACE MYSELF, TO FORCEFULLY GET RID OF DEFILEMENTS, GETTING RID OF TORMENTING EMOTIONS UNTIL TODAY, I AM EFFORTLESSLY RID OF DEFILEMENTS, RID OF SUFFERING, SELDOM NEEDING TO APPLY FORCE TO STAY HAPPY AND CLEARLY THINKING.
JUST AS THE MORE TIMES, THE LONGER EACH TIME AND THE MORE FERVOR WITH WHICH YOU PLAY TENNIS, THE BETTER AND MORE RAPIDLY BETTER YOU GET AT PLAYING TENNIS, SIMILARLY THE MORE FREQUENT, THE LONGER AND MORE INTENSE YOU EXPERIENCE DEFILEMENTS (EG ANGER), THE MORE INTENSE & EASIER AROUSED WILL YOUR ANGER BE; THE MORE FREQUENT & MORE FORCEFUL YOU EFFACE YOUR ANGER THE MORE RAPID ANGER DISAPPEARS IN YOU. IT IS BECAUSE ORDINARY PEOPLE HAVE PRACTICED ANGER FOR SO LONG WITH SO MUCH INDULGENCE THAT THEY NOW NO LONGER HAVE TO FORCE THEMSELVES TO GET ANGRY BUT ANGER IS EXPLOSIVELY AROUSED IN THEM INTENSELY HELPLESSLY WHENEVER THEY ARE PROVOKED TO BE ANGRY. IF THEY DO NOT ELIMINATE ANGER BUT FOOLISHLY TRY TO CONTROL IT, THEIR ANGER WILL ONE DAY KILL THEM OR THEY WILL GO TO HELL.
EVERY MOMENT SPENT IN AND THE MORE INTENSE ONE FEELS ANGER, SADNESS, RESTLESSNESS, FEAR, GREED, LUST, PRIDE IS EVERY MOMENT’S REINFORCEMENT OF THEM, HENCE THE WISE PERSON WILL LEARN TO BE ALERT TO RECOGNIZE THEM AND GET RID OF THEM, REPLACE THEM WITH CALM CLARITY OF MIND UNTIL THIS IS A PERMANENT CONDITION, EVEN WHEN TALKING TO A PROVOCATIVE PERSON.

Setting Herself Up For Mind Bending Torment:

What she is doing, arcing her legs almost into an extreme overstretched U whilst jumping with stretched arms in an Olympic gymnastic routine, few people will be able to emulate. If they did, it would not be pleasurable but painful and if you are not careful, you can seriously injure yourself in the process. However, anyone who is willing to subject themselves to painful, arduous, repetitive practice under a coach will be able in time produce a reasonable facsimile of her act at a price: though you might derive some emotional satisfaction impressing others with your prowess, the mind and body warping tormenting force that MUST accompany this routine will be indelibly etched in your psyche.
She must have practiced to perfection this routine above, reflecting her grim determination to punish herself for material gains (always an act because it is forceful, exaggerated in force, range of movement and harms self) and now, because it is the ‘real thing’ the Olympics, she is pushing herself to the limits of forceful, contorting body and mental punishment. Jesus said what is exalted by men (as above) is an abomination in the sight of God. It is painful self-mortification and obscene to me.
Anyone who does what she is doing will be under intense body and mental contortions, warped and stressed to the limit, any mistake could result in grievous injury eg fall or tear muscles.
What she does not realize is that she has already bonded herself to future torment, a heavy price for material gains. There are strong mad forces in her mind that will subject herself and others to the severe punishment she is meting out to herself above. It is her force of self preservation that keeps her in control of her violent going herself at the moment. When this force of self preservation is breached either in situational crises or in old age, she will be driven relentlessly by brutal self punishing forces.
She does not push herself to these extremes usually. In the same way, many actors do not realize they harbor very potent, violent forces of going against themselves that are normally never fully manifest but has the potential when out of control to seize them in ‘unbelievable’ torment. In other words, ordinary people do not realize that as a result of lifelong acting that sometimes were passionate (they had expressed violent rages before), their engines of rage in the mind is like a Ferrari engine, usually only ticking over and lulling them to think it is a pussy cat when they have a ferocious tiger of rage in them that will one day tear themselves and others to bits. The fool tries to cohabit with his anger like keeping a viper in his house; the wise person learns to get rid of the viper of anger by stopping acting that generates rage and attentively forcefully erase anger every time it rises.

Bush Exposing Himself Again:
Quote: "I'm confident that over time this will work - I certainly hope it does," Bush said of the ongoing diplomacy with the Iran & N Korea to control nuclear weapons.
Comment: When you say you are confident, you are saying you are quite sure and to qualify that in the next breath that you certainly hope is contradicting yourself because if you are confident, you do not need to certainly (definitely) hope; on the other hand, if you are not quite confident then you certainly (definitely) hope it works. The actor’s mentality and that of his like-minded audience is to be impressed by form rather than substance, how it is said rather than what is said. He and the audience get so carried away to be impressed with the form of what is said because it is emphatic (‘confident’ qualified by ‘certainly hope’ are impressive) when logical analysis indicates it is impressive nonsense and contradictory. It is, to imitate current lingo, good for ‘sound bites’ but bad for truth.

Has anybody any right to tell others (at risk of misleading them and therefore lying) that he is confident instead of just hopeful regarding matters not entirely in their control, dependent on the whims of opponents eg nuclear disarmament? Or is his real message to trust him as a competent leader?

The Devil Does His Work On Idle Hands:
In the past everyone’s hands were tied up with oppressive stress to take issue with others but today, ‘paradoxically’ with the lessening of pervasive stress in everyone to a degree dependent on how aggressively he still acts (act more suffer more, act little suffer little, act no more suffer no more), their hands are freer to do mischief or destructive violence that previously their constrained hands prevented.
Because everyone today has changed again compared to say 5 years ago, they are more subdued, less rabidly acting, smile less, they have experienced a appreciable reduction of stress, but because they continue to act, they still have great internal capacity for violence or aggression or emotions which is why, when provoked, they may blow their top more easily than in the past to vent it unrestrained. Further, with present consciousness change, they are likely to be able to see the provocations of others more clearly and thus feeling justified, they retaliate violently at their tormentors whilst disregarding their own follies.
Everyone, including the most evil ones has changed and the foolish may be lulled to think they have now changed for the good when they are still tough goats. Remember the Buddha said you must be tamed not wild; you must balance a pot brimful of oil between a milling crowd and a singing beauty queen and if you spill just a drop, your head will be cut off right there. In the same vein Jesus those who will save their lives must carry their crosses and go with him. Can you be carrying your cross and going if you are attached to your parents, children, friends, your likes and dislikes and favorite beliefs? Kid yourself and you may be consigning yourself in delusion to the rubbish heap of eternity. Going to heaven may be as simple as letting your yes be yes only but to one discerning, few can truly let their yes be yes only but they must always do or say more, smile and stretch their syllables to impress others. Many people do not realize they are emotionally and exquisitely nice, not good and niceness is poisonous for one who sees.
Student kills brother after being scolded for smoking
IPOH: A Form Three boy killed his 19-year-old brother after he scolded the boy for smoking.
The Form Three boy stabbed his elder brother in the neck outside their home in Taman Mas, Chemor, at 10.30pm on Wednesday.
Where Do The Hordes Come From?
The Buddha said that we have been transmigrating, not only for this age that is coming to a close but for many eons such that there is hardly anyone who has not been your father, mother, sibling or children. Jesus said not a dot will pass from the law, which indicates that everything however minute is significant and if you consider when a fish spawns there are millions of eggs and each hatching is its offspring and siblings to each other, then what the Buddha said that hardly anyone exists who has not been a father or mother to you.
There are more than 6 billions humans on earth now. Since the Buddha said we have all be transmigrating for many eons, these new humans are unlikely to be newly created souls, are unlikely to have come from heaven but they are likely to be reborn from the animal, ghost and hell realms and beings being intransigent, it explains why the vast majority of beings living today are recalcitrant, hell bent on acting and returning to the furnace of torment.